What is a wedding now, anyway?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think weddings CAN be like what you described. Aka: A typical bridezilla episode. Sometimes in the midst of all the wedding planning you can lose sight of the real importance, which is the fact you’re getting married. I just don’t think they are all like that. I think a lot of brides just want to create a beautiful day for themselves, their groom, and loved ones. 

Post # 4
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@gracetravel:  No need to apologize for your rant, most of us have had it at least once.  You can have the wedding you want and you deserve to.  My advice is to throw everything out the window about what you should do and think of what you want to do and what’s important to you.  A wedding is just one day, a marriage is a lifetime.  It sounds like you’re doing awesome realizing this now and gaining a good perspective. Keep that in mind and I think you’ll do great! (and don’t worry about apologizing for the rant!)

Post # 5
Hostess
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Am I the only one who feels that our generation of entitlement is ruining the idea of marriage? 

 

No. I think there are entitled jerks in every generation and I meet them more often in older generations than I do in the millenials/gen Y. I think saying it’s generational is super silly. There are always going to be people out there who strive to compete with the Jones, who feel like the world owes them everything, but don’t want to work for it. 

 

I do, however, think that there is more pressure on people today – of all ages – to have this huge @$$ expensive wedding. You know, the whole wedding industrial complex thing. For heaven’s sake, we’re having this conversation on a theoretical corporate entity entirely devoted to weddings/marriage. 

 

I also think that people who are obnoxious and (for example, on Weddingbee) post crazy drama or self-centred posts are a lot more memorable than the literal THOUSANDS of posts of people who are here to get support on how to build and maintain a healthy marriage and family dynamic. I actually see a lot more committment to making a dynamic, balanced marriage among my friends “our age” whereas all of our parents are divorced. So, again no, I don’t think there’s anything in this generation that is “destroying concepts of marriage.” If anything, I think it’s the opposite. The dissemination of technology just makes the outliers more apparent.

 

ETA: I had a private wedding (DH, myself, photographer, and the priest) on a pretty small budget and another bigger, low key “anniversary party” to celebrate with family and friends a year later. I’ve seen lots of bees in the several years I’ve been here with modest (or even tiny!) budgets, a lot of DIY, and etc. It all depends on the couple, their means, their family, regional and cultural traditions.

 

Post # 6
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t like the current trend in weddings either.

So much money, so much decoration, so many guests, so much everything, and for what purpose? I don’t feel it enhances the wedding vibe.

I’m happily opting out though and so it doesn’t bother me much, but what annoys me is that niggling sense of “but WHY don’t I understand why they ALL want this?”

I’d be 100% fine with not wanting what others want (rather than the current level of 99% fine) if I could get a really good sense of why they want it. Just in case I’m really overlooking a really excellent reason why it would be a great idea to make your wedding one of the most costly expenditures of your life. I mean, there’s often wisdom to a crowd. But on the other hand, sometimes the crowd is going off a cliff. So, there’s that.

I’m hoping it’s just beecause when I was being a magic warrior girl who could fly as a kid, they were “brides,” amd now they have the opportunity to bring their fantasy to life (because I’d totally spend a ton of money and effort on bringing my “magic flying warrior girl” fantasy to life if I could).

Post # 7
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@gracetravel:  If you want awsome reading on the topic pick up One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding.  It’s a great exploration of what your talking about (I’m not sure if it’s still in print since it came out a few years ago).

Post # 8
Member
1899 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

@gracetravel:  +1000

I’m glad I had the image of my wedding before I joined the Bee because after being inundated by images of glamorous pins and elaborate deco I feel I have to strive to keep up with the trends… 

and then I give myself a mental slap.

But seriously, I see a lot of posts from selfish, entitled Bees. But then I also see hardworking, money-saving, busy DIYing Bees. So there is hope yet!!

 

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