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This one (if we decide to have it and not just go to the courthouse) will be bigger (probably 100 versus 20 before), 'cause we'd want all our friends and family to celebrate with us, and the man's family's pretty big. I will not skimp on the photography - that was my biggest regret last time. I will take more time to find The Dress, too. Last time I just bought the first one i tried on, and I didn't like it by the time the wedding rolled around. This one will be much more DIY, and it won't be destination (my other one was). So for 100 people, the budget will be less than the 20 person one was before. A wedding isn't a huge priority for us (not like buying a home or saving for the future), so we are definitely going to make some choices as to what where we want our money to go.
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Ours will be smaller, more intimate. I am not having seven bridesmaids again and we're not going to marry in a church.
In a wierd way, I'm doing what I wished I had done before..have a smaller yet elegant ceremony and reception with ceremony outside. And I always wanted the bridesmaids to have a dress they actually would want to wear again! Last time I wanted the LBD for them, but my xmil told me that it was "bad luck" so we went with a pastel color. Plus I am going to wear the lightest blush pink color as I don't think I look particularly fabulous in white.
My first was a pretty traditional affair in my hometown with about 120 guests, friends and family. The second was a DW to Austin, TX, w/ 30 guests. Other than my immediate fam and grandparents, there weren't any overlap guests, which makes it easier, I think. The first wedding was 8 years prior, which also makes it easier, since it doesn't feel like yesterday.
I feel like the biggest difference is knowing what I want and knowing how to make that happen, whether it be taking my time to look more, researching all of my options better, or even just standing up for myself.
The difference in the large and small was, for me, in part b/c it was my second. For FI, he was happy to keep it small -- he's really shy.
Also, we didn't register, both b/c of the second wedding for me, but also b/c all of our guests were traveling and we thought that was enough to ask of them. We're also fairly well established, so it's not like we need help setting up our house.
Married by a friend, not a minister (although the friend was technically a minister, I guess - he signed up online). I've never been religious, neither is DH or his fam, and I liked the idea of being married by someone we know.
I think the other things were more about it being so much smaller -- smaller wedding party, sit-down dinner, jazz band and karaoke (vs. traditional band or DJ), etc.
It's my first wedding, but my fiance says that this time he isn't going to drink too much at the reception. He also wanted to write his own vows this time :)
It will be at home, literally since we are having it at my parent's house. I hated that most family and friends didn't come the first time because they had to travel to where my ex and I lived.
There is no bridal party this time, I don't see a need and neither does he. My kids will be there so that is a BIG difference. My Dad isn't going to give me away either. This one will definitely be more meaningful. I don't want to do things for show or just as fluff.
Additionally, I will be throwing the bouquet this time instead of catching the one that his first wife threw at his first wedding!
Life is ironic.
I am gonna yell at my bff "Go long!!!!" We may practice this..make it an NFL style throw!
I'm not eloping this time. There will be plenty of people we know & love and no justice of the peace.
Cool! So a "second-first" wedding for ya Loralie! Awesome. I'll only do the JOP in the case we end up moving in together 2 mos before the wedding due to contractual issues regarding my home...my son is pretty astute and we're not gonna just live together without being married with all the kids (mine as well as his) involved. We'll have the wedding itself late summer/early fall.
We're eloping! I am wearing a wedding gown for the first time, as well as having a bouquette, honeymoon, engagement photos and professional photos at the ceremony. Nothing like before!
His first was a big affair, he spent a lot of $$ and had zero say in the planning-just had to show up. They had a lot of fights about the wedding between eachother and the vendors; their honeymoon was a disaster.
We are enjoying the planning and excitement of our elopement. We will have a big celebration about a month after we elope-that way his family can make travel arrangements. We have a lot of family and friends in the town that we live in, so either way, it will be fun! Oh, yeah-and he will be celebrating his first Father's day as a stepdad. :-)
EVERYTHING is different this time!
For my first wedding, I was 18 and 5 months pregnant. I wore a long peasant dress, a quick little ceremony in his parents' church followed by a backyard picnic then a huge "kegger" party at our house afterwards. The minister even came and partied with us and passed out on the couch!
This time I am 50 years old (gulp). In between I had a 20+ year relationship and then the bastard left me for a bar skank less than a year after my daughter and only child died. After several years of depression, I forced myself to socialize again and my h2b and I found each other!
This time I want more. So we are having a semi-formal wedding at one of the gardens at the college where I teach. I am wearing a Victorian-style wedding dress and a Victorian tea hat. My bridesmaids (yes I am having bridesmaids!) are wearing long burgundy sundresses. They are wearing cymbidium orchid hair clips and the menfolk are wearing matching cymbidium orchid boutonairres (sp). The bridesmaids are carrying cymbidium orchid bouquets and I will have the same with some cream day lilies mixed in (cos I'm the bride, LOL). The menfolk are wearing dark grey suits and burgundy ties. The officant will conduct a ceremony that is part Unitarian and Native American (part of my family's ancestry). The wedding processional music is Nothing Else Matters as done by Apocalyptica. Then we are having a simple reception at the college's elegant conference center. I am wearing a more comfortable long boho wedding dress for that.Since this is an evening wedding, we are having appetizers, fruit, cheese, cake and punch only. Then the next day we are having a giant pig roast!
No limos, bouquet tosses, etc. We did luck out with a young photographer whose work I liked and who needs to build his portfilio so we are having 2 hrs. of his time for a mewre $200!
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Practically everything! For my first wedding, I was still in law school. My parents and his paid most of the cost. The wedding took place in my husband's home town, and his parents were involved in a lot of the planning. He invited his large extended family, which far outnumbered mine, and we had very few friends present. We worked very hard on not personalizing the wedding. We declined to write our own vows, had engraved cream-colored invitations, left the wedding music up to the organist, left the chuppah up to the synagogue, and left the flowers up to his mother. The ketubah was written by the groom's brother-in-law, and was just plain text on a white background, with no English at all. His parents walked him down the aisle, and mine walked me down the aisle. My wedding gown was white, long-sleeved, and quite simple with no train. I wore no jewelry with it. I did not have anyone do my hair or makeup. The veil was a plain tulle circle with a comb, and no tiara. My shoes were plain white sandals. The reception was an open bar and lunch in a restaurant that we took over for the occasion, with no dancing. We did not have a guestbook or wedding album.
This time around, there is no groom--my fiancee is also female. We are paying for the wedding ourselves, with no assistance. We're having the wedding in Massachusetts, where we know virtually no one. There will be under 20 people at our wedding and luncheon immediately afterward, but we will have a big party in DC for all our friends afterward. Neither my parents nor hers will be there, but my ex-husband and children will be. We have done all the planning ourselves. My fiancee designed the invitations. We have a very artistic ketubah designed by a professional, with custom text in both Hebrew and English. We are building our own chuppah. We wrote the entire ceremony, and more than half our guests will have speaking parts in it. We picked out all the ceremony music, which we are putting on a CD. My fiancee and I will be walking down the aisle together. For the reception back home, we have a nontraditional venue, so we are arranging all the food, decoration, and entertainment ourselves. My gown is ivory and strapless with a split front and a chapel length train. I'll be wearing a crinoline, opera gloves, bridal slippers, pearls, and a tiara with it. We're having someone come to the synagogue to do our hair and makeup. We will have a local musician playing at our reception, and will have dancing. We are taking dance lessons so we can have a swing dance as our first dance. We'll have fun touches like a chocolate fountain and a DIY "photobooth" that will produce souvenirs for our guests, a unique guestbook for us, and pictures for an album that a friend is making us.
In real terms, our budget this time is probably less this time than it was for my first wedding. However, this one will be far more personalized, and less focused on what we "ought" to do.
So much is going to be different! First of all, I truly understand what it is to love someone and give myself to him wholeheartedly and want to spend the rest of my life with him.
As for the actual wedding part - the first I was 5 months pregnant, my mother of all people was missing because she could not get off of work, I refused to have any kind of celebration after our corthouse wedding because I was so embarrassed that I had gotten pregnant before the actual wedding (we found out we were pregant 3 weeks after the proposal). Instead we left for a weekend in San Antonio right afterwards and my mom was on our honeymoon with us. Hehe Those things are funny but I never had the opportunity to have a real wedding.
My fiancee has never been married and he wanted the big shebang. I didn't argue because since I never had it, I kind of wanted it too. Also, it is important to his mom and I like that. My parents seem pretty non-chalant about the whole thing like "Whats the big deal? Its the second time." but they are helping pay for it anyway. I hope when it comes time for the wedding they treasure having a second chance at experiencing it since this time around I am more prepared and mature about it. It just means so much more.
Another thing that is different is that my boys will be participating. We have pictures of the engagement and I love that you can see them in the background smiling.
I am so excited even though I never had a first go round really. My one thing I am not comfortable with is that my finacee INSISTS that I wear white. My two sons will be in the wedding! It seems like a small thing to give him, but I would just rather wear ivory or champagne.
Well the only thing that will be the same for me is, well nothing!
I eloped the 1st time around when I was 18. My ExH was in the military and talked me into marrying him. I never had a dress, I wore jeans and a tshirt. I never had a wedding cake, wedding dress, ceremony with family, or even a dinner out let alone a reception.
I am having a small 25 guest ceremony at my reception site. The venue is very Unique...it's actually in a Train Station. I'm having a friend do my wedding cake, and with only immediate family attending so we can splurge on details that matter to us.
The one thing that I want to splurge on is photography! I never had a single photo the 1st time and I really want a portrait of me and Mr Coffee to hang on the the wall!
This time I am wearing a white dress with a Train..... and I don't care what anyone says! I will forego the veil. My hair is very short right now and I wish it was long again but, I had my brain tumor surgery in Nov 2007 and oncology follow ups after that. My hair is finally regrown to a presentable length and I really don't want extenstions cause my hair is so brittle now. I hope I look pretty even with short hair, maybe I'll use a head band or a smll tiara.
Lat time was a very detialed, choreaographed affair. I did all of the work myself, and while it was a small wedding (25 guests) it was a fairly formal affair.l I wokred my asparagus off, and it was perfect! Excpet that I married the wrong man. I still wonder what would have happened if I had told my current fiance' (and true love) where the wedding was..he was ready to show up!
This time, we're going to Vegas with a few close friends in tow. No matcing ribbons, no $$$ in a reception, this time, it's about us, not impressing other people. It's going to be perfect.
The only 'same' I have is wearing the same dress (with some modifications), and that I've turned in to a cheesy, bride-guide reading nutcase, who obsesses over different versions of the color blue.
Any new encore brides out there (or grooms) who wish to give us new perspectives? How is your day going to be unique this time?
I'm a new encore bride! This wedding is completely different than my first.
My first wedding was totally dictated by my in-laws. We had it in a large Catholic church with full mass...a traditional reception and it was over by 10 p.m. We were also married in January as I was graduating college in December and his parents would not allow us to move in together before being married (would disown him!!)...lots of things wrong with this picture!!
This time around we are doing things the way we want and no one else's opion is going to change that.
We are getting married at Walt Disney World in Florida. A small, intimate wedding of no more than 40 people. I will have my Moh but no bridesmaids, and my fi will have a best man but no groomsment. My brother will be our officiant. We are going to have a small reception followed by a private party with fireworks.
I'm an encore bride, too. I'm having a lot more fun planning this one already. THe first time was a destination wedding in the Caribbean with 11 people and then a reception back home 2 weeks after (which I was not a fan of, but his mother insisted - & we spent way too much). I had a blast but a lot of things were not as I would have like due to the wedding package at the hotel, his mother thinking she could invite 45 people that we had never met just because she paid for them, etc . Also, my MOH accepted to be MOH at someone else's wedding so she could not be at my reception.
10 years later...
This time, I am so excited about planning and making it special & personal. We are doing a semi-destination wedding since it is in Sedona, which is 1 1/2 hours away. We'll have 30-35 people at a state park for the ceremony and we are looking at a private reception venue with an outdoor terrace. It's his first wedding & his family is so excited and supportive. AND my FI is actually interested in planning! That caught me off-guard at first as I am kind of a control freak, but now we are having fun together with the details and I know which parts are really important to him.
Newbee here too.
I'm hoping to do almost everything differently. My first wedding was a huge to-do. It was a resort in my home town and I was married in a tiny chapel where all of my family members have been married. Sadly -I was the first and only one to get divorced.
I am just beginning to plan my wedding and we have discussed recreating our first date. Something very small and intimate - 40 people. I don't think we will have any attendants. An outdoor ceremony followed by a dinner at Vidalia in DC. FI would also like to have a larger "reception" for all of our friends.
My first wedding was at a little place called "The Hitching Post" which is similar to a Vegas style chapel, only in Idaho. There were 5 people there and it was basically a spur of the moment idea. No reception, no nothing. In fact, I don't think a lot of my family even knows it ever happened. Which is a-ok with me! We were seperated within a month and officially divorced a year later. We had a son who was about 6 months old when we were married and I got pregnant with my 2nd son the week of our "wedding."
This time around I am doing everything completely different. My ex is not in my sons' lives, so it is going to be a celebration of my FI and the kids (we also have a 5 month old little girl together) coming together as a family. They call my FI dad so they are excited that this will officially (sort of) make him their dad. I have a white dress and a veil. We are expecting about 60 people and have a caterer, photographer, the works! The best thing about it is that my family loves my FI (they hated ex), so I feel like they are truly celebrating with me instead of mourning a horrible mistake.
It is so awesome to see other women in similar situations who ignore the stereotype associated with having a wedding celebration for a second marriage! You guys rock!
i got married, but never had a wedding. in fact, i went to texas and got it done by proxy!!! (the guy was in germany). (i thought being together was worth not having a wedding. . ... but i did shortly end up regretting not getting that experience)
so. .. . this time i get the whole! perfect! event! my beloved is totally happy for me to have the wedding i want. .. the dress, the family, the food. .. .
(too bad my dad is refusing to talk to me, but mama has volunteered to walk me down the aisle
)
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And what is going to be similar?
My first wedding was in Las Vegas (no, not one of those drive through wedding chapels - at the Bellagio) so I felt like I didn't have much "say" in the planning (because of the packages created by the hotel) - THIS time I am going to be SO much more involved. *I* want to be the one to pick my flowers and the linens, etc.
One thing that is going to be similar is the color of my dress (I think). My other one was ivory - and it looks SO much better on me than bright white.
What about you?
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