(Closed) What is going to be different about your wedding this time?

posted 9 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

This one (if we decide to have it and not just go to the courthouse) will be bigger (probably 100 versus 20 before), ’cause we’d want all our friends and family to celebrate with us, and the man’s family’s pretty big. I will not skimp on the photography – that was my biggest regret last time. I will take more time to find The Dress, too. Last time I just bought the first one i tried on, and I didn’t like it by the time the wedding rolled around. This one will be much more DIY, and it won’t be destination (my other one was). So for 100 people, the budget will be less than the 20 person one was before. A wedding isn’t a huge priority for us (not like buying a home or saving for the future), so we are definitely going to make some choices as to what where we want our money to go.

 

Post # 4
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ours will be smaller, more intimate.  I am not having seven bridesmaids again and we’re not going to marry in a church. 

In a wierd way, I’m doing what I wished I had done before..have a smaller yet elegant ceremony and reception with ceremony outside.  And I always wanted the bridesmaids to have a dress they actually would want to wear again!  Last time I wanted the LBD for them, but my xmil told me that it was "bad luck" so we went with a pastel color.  Plus I am going to wear the lightest blush pink color as I don’t think I look particularly fabulous in white.

Post # 5
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2008

My first was a pretty traditional affair in my hometown with about 120 guests, friends and family.  The second was a DW to Austin, TX, w/ 30 guests.  Other than my immediate fam and grandparents, there weren’t any overlap guests, which makes it easier, I think.  The first wedding was 8 years prior, which also makes it easier, since it doesn’t feel like yesterday.

I feel like the biggest difference is knowing what I want and knowing how to make that happen, whether it be taking my time to look more, researching all of my options better, or even just standing up for myself.

The difference in the large and small was, for me, in part b/c it was my second.  For FI, he was happy to keep it small — he’s really shy. 

Post # 6
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Also, we didn’t register, both b/c of the second wedding for me, but also b/c all of our guests were traveling and we thought that was enough to ask of them.  We’re also fairly well established, so it’s not like we need help setting up our house.

 Married by a friend, not a minister (although the friend was technically a minister, I guess – he signed up online).  I’ve never been religious, neither is DH or his fam, and I liked the idea of being married by someone we know.

I think the other things were more about it being so much smaller — smaller wedding party, sit-down dinner, jazz band and karaoke (vs. traditional band or DJ), etc.

Post # 7
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

It’s my first wedding, but my fiance says that this time he isn’t going to drink too much at the reception. He also wanted to write his own vows this time 🙂

Post # 8
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

It will be at home, literally since we are having it at my parent’s house. I hated that most family and friends didn’t come the first time because they had to travel to where my ex and I lived.

There is no bridal party this time, I don’t see a need and neither does he.  My kids will be there so that is a BIG difference. My Dad isn’t going to give me away either.  This one will definitely be more meaningful.  I don’t want to do things for show or just as fluff. 

Post # 9
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Additionally, I will be throwing the bouquet this time instead of catching the one that his first wife threw at his first wedding!

Life is ironic.

Post # 10
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am gonna yell at my bff "Go long!!!!" We may practice this..make it an NFL style throw!

Post # 11
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I’m not eloping this time.  There will be plenty of people we know & love and no justice of the peace.

Post # 12
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Cool!  So a "second-first" wedding for ya Loralie!  Awesome. I’ll only do the JOP in the case we end up moving in together 2 mos before the wedding due to contractual issues regarding my home…my son is pretty astute and we’re not gonna just live together without being married with all the kids (mine as well as his) involved.  We’ll have the wedding itself late summer/early fall. 

Post # 13
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We’re eloping!  I am wearing a wedding gown for the first time, as well as having a bouquette, honeymoon, engagement photos and professional photos at the ceremony.   Nothing like before!

His first was a big affair, he spent a lot of $$ and had zero say in the planning-just had to show up.  They had a lot of fights about the wedding between eachother and the vendors; their honeymoon was a disaster.

We are enjoying the planning and excitement of our elopement.  We will have a big celebration about a month after we elope-that way his family can make travel arrangements.  We have a lot of family and friends in the town that we live in, so either way, it will be fun!  Oh, yeah-and he will be celebrating his first Father’s day as a stepdad.  🙂

Post # 14
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

EVERYTHING is different this time!

For my first wedding, I was 18 and 5 months pregnant. I wore a long peasant dress, a quick little ceremony in his parents’ church followed by a backyard picnic then a huge "kegger" party at our house afterwards. The minister even came and partied with us and passed out on the couch!

This time I am 50 years old (gulp). In between I had a 20+ year relationship and then the bastard left me for a bar skank less than a year after my daughter and only child died. After several years of depression, I forced myself to socialize again and my h2b and I found each other!

This time I want more. So we are having a semi-formal wedding at one of the gardens at the college where I teach. I am wearing a Victorian-style wedding dress and a Victorian tea hat. My bridesmaids (yes I am having bridesmaids!) are wearing long burgundy sundresses. They are wearing cymbidium orchid hair clips and the menfolk are wearing matching cymbidium orchid boutonairres (sp). The bridesmaids are carrying cymbidium orchid bouquets and I will have the same with some cream day lilies mixed in (cos I’m the bride, LOL). The menfolk are wearing dark grey suits and burgundy ties. The officant will conduct a ceremony that is part Unitarian and Native American (part of my family’s ancestry). The wedding processional music is Nothing Else Matters as done by Apocalyptica. Then we are having a simple reception at the college’s elegant conference center. I am wearing a more comfortable long boho wedding dress for that.Since this is an evening wedding, we are having appetizers, fruit, cheese, cake and punch only. Then the next day we are having a giant pig roast!

No limos, bouquet tosses, etc. We did luck out with a young photographer whose work I liked and who needs to build his portfilio so we are having 2 hrs. of his time for a mewre $200! 

 

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Post # 15
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Practically everything! For my first wedding, I was still in law school. My parents and his paid most of the cost. The wedding took place in my husband’s home town, and his parents were involved in a lot of the planning. He invited his large extended family, which far outnumbered mine, and we had very few friends present. We worked very hard on not personalizing the wedding. We declined to write our own vows, had engraved cream-colored invitations, left the wedding music up to the organist, left the chuppah up to the synagogue, and left the flowers up to his mother. The ketubah was written by the groom’s brother-in-law, and was just plain text on a white background, with no English at all. His parents walked him down the aisle, and mine walked me down the aisle. My wedding gown was white, long-sleeved, and quite simple with no train. I wore no jewelry with it. I did not have anyone do my hair or makeup. The veil was a plain tulle circle with a comb, and no tiara. My shoes were plain white sandals. The reception was an open bar and lunch in a restaurant that we took over for the occasion, with no dancing. We did not have a guestbook or wedding album.

This time around, there is no groom–my fiancee is also female. We are paying for the wedding ourselves, with no assistance. We’re having the wedding in Massachusetts, where we know virtually no one. There will be under 20 people at our wedding and luncheon immediately afterward, but we will have a big party in DC for all our friends afterward. Neither my parents nor hers will be there, but my ex-husband and children will be. We have done all the planning ourselves. My fiancee designed the invitations. We have a very artistic ketubah designed by a professional, with custom text in both Hebrew and English. We are building our own chuppah. We wrote the entire ceremony, and more than half our guests will have speaking parts in it. We picked out all the ceremony music, which we are putting on a CD. My fiancee and I will be walking down the aisle together. For the reception back home, we have a nontraditional venue, so we are arranging all the food, decoration, and entertainment ourselves. My gown is ivory and strapless with a split front and a chapel length train. I’ll be wearing a crinoline, opera gloves, bridal slippers, pearls, and a tiara with it. We’re having someone come to the synagogue to do our hair and makeup. We will have a local musician playing at our reception, and will have dancing. We are taking dance lessons so we can have a swing dance as our first dance. We’ll have fun touches like a chocolate fountain and a DIY "photobooth" that will produce souvenirs for our guests, a unique guestbook for us, and pictures for an album that a friend is making us.

In real terms, our budget this time is probably less this time than it was for my first wedding. However, this one will be far more personalized, and less focused on what we "ought" to do.

Post # 16
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

So much is going to be different! First of all, I truly understand what it is to love someone and give myself to him wholeheartedly and want to spend the rest of my life with him.

As for the actual wedding part – the first I was 5 months pregnant, my mother of all people was missing because she could not get off of work, I refused to have any kind of celebration after our corthouse wedding because I was so embarrassed that I had gotten pregnant before the actual wedding (we found out we were pregant 3 weeks after the proposal). Instead we left for a weekend in San Antonio right afterwards and my mom was on our honeymoon with us. Hehe Those things are funny but I never had the opportunity to have a real wedding.

 My fiancee has never been married and he wanted the big shebang. I didn’t argue because since I never had it, I kind of wanted it too. Also, it is important to his mom and I like that. My parents seem pretty non-chalant about the whole thing like "Whats the big deal? Its the second time." but they are helping pay for it anyway. I hope when it comes time for the wedding they treasure having a second chance at experiencing it since this time around I am more prepared and mature about it. It just means so much more.

Another thing that is different is that my boys will be participating. We have pictures of the engagement and I love that you can see them in the background smiling.

I am so excited even though I never had a first go round really. My one thing I am not comfortable with is that my finacee INSISTS that I wear white. My two sons will be in the wedding! It seems like a small thing to give him, but I would just rather wear ivory or champagne. 

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