Post # 1
I just need to get this off my chest bee’s. I recently wrote a post on my ‘private wedding’ and that some people were upset at not coming and my falling out with FSIL/BFF. I was totally shocked to hear the response from some people, firstly that many people agree with FSIL and it’s warrented that she is now being very nasty and speaking with with with total disrispect.
What happened to this being a board/group where you can get support and advice when you may not have anyone else who understands or that you can talk to, not attacking someone because they agree that people should be angry if they can’t come to your wedding. I understand my choices aren’t traditional, and that I have to accept that not everyone will by 100% happy about this – but I’m still getting married, still having a reception at home with 150+ guests, shouldn’t I still have people being supportive and happy for me? Or does not having enough money and deciding on a private wedding abroad which is our style mean I can’t be entitled to help picking a dress, a bachelorette party, reception planning and idea’s?
Sorry for the rant but really surprised the hostile response I have had, many other posts not on this subject have been lovely and supportive, I don’t understand this fasination that the wedding is more about your family, friends and guests than it is you.
Post # 3
@FutureMrsMarlow: I must have missed the rule where everyone must agree with you. I didn’t see a whole lot of hostility on your other thread, but good luck getting kinder responses on this thread.
Post # 4
@FutureMrsMarlow: It’s the internet… what do you expect?
Post # 6
I read your other thread and I think you just misinterpreted some of the responses. I didn’t really see anyone attacking you. It’s understandable that your family would be upset that they can’t witness your wedding, for them to be overjoyed that they couldn’t afford it so now they can’t come, doesn’t make sense.
The wedding is about you, but family doesn’t always see it that way. Family is going to be upset, and there’s no magical solution to make them see things your way. They will get over it eventually.
I don’t know why you thought other bees were being hostile in your other thread. I think you might have been upset and just misread some of the posts.
Post # 7
@FutureMrsMarlow: The Bee is a great place to get advice and support on issues. However, many Bees, such as yourself, come on here and post looking for validation for their own actions and want everyone to agree with them. The truth of the matter is not everyone will agree with you in life. When you write on a public forum, you are subject to many different ideas from many different people. Not everyone is the same.
The other posts on that same topic perhpas didn’t take on the same tone as yours or didn’t have a one key element yours did to ultimately make people disagree with you and agree with your FSIL. If you are looking for people to agree or validate what you said or did, a public forum isn’t going to be the way to go. Sorry.
Post # 8
“Support” doesn’t mean “agreement”, and “advice” isn’t just telling you what you want to hear.
If you came to Weddingbee hoping that everyone would agree with you, I’m sorry, that’s not going to happen. Everyone isn’t going to agree with everyone.
Just for the record, I read the thread you’re talking about when you posted it and as the comments were coming. The responses didn’t seem hostile to me.
Post # 9
@FutureMrsMarlow: Sorry but it does not say ‘everyone must validate your choices’ anywhere in the forum rules. What happened to this being a forum where people actually asked for advice instead of just looking to be told they’re right all the time?
Post # 10
I see nothing hostile in your other thread…
Post # 11
@FutureMrsMarlow: I am sorry that you are feeling attacked 🙁 Also, I agree with you. I think that the point of the site is to find support for whatever you are going through from people who understand. But you do need to realize that understanding does not necessarily mean agreement.
I didn’t read the thread you are talking about (I looked for it but didn’t find it) but if people were being nasty and hurtful I’m sorry. Also, it sounds like it was a pretty emotional post for you so I’m sure it was even more upsetting. Do you think their is a chance that you were projecting your hurt feelings onto the responses of some people who never meant to be hostile?
I think that most people on here are pretty well meaning and try to be honest not hostile.
Again, I’m sorry you feel that way but perhaps you should try to take it as it was. An opinion not a vicious attack.
Post # 12
People didn’t agree that it’s okay to be nasty. People understood why your family would be upset they can’t be at the wedding. It may upset you, but other people have feelings, too. I am so tired of these posts that criticize the community.
Post # 13
@FutureMrsMarlow: 1) I don’t see any “hostile” responses–very far from hostile
2) Not everyone is going to agree with you, this is not a perfect world
3) No one was attacking you, they very giving you very good advice
BUt you are upset because no one is agreeing with you? Thats immature
Post # 14
@FutureMrsMarlow: its to be expected that you will get responses that you don’t like, that don’t agree with you, that aren’t supportive etc. You will absolutely never have a thread where absolutely everyone is only going to be 100% on your side. It’s the internet. This community is supportive and has a lot of great advice and kind words. It sounds like you were only looking for comments that agreed with your side of things. That’s not going to happen here.Well it’s very unlikely….
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
I don’t think anyone is trying to be mean to you; they are just giving there honest opinions.
Perhaps you are too upset right now?
Post # 16
@MrsTVLover: +1 I am tired as well. It’s always the same outcome.