(Closed) What is love?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MrsFutureG:  I totally had that song start playing in my head when I read your post title 😛

Love is so hard to define!! I guess for me love has evolved over time. First it was that butterflies and all-consuming feeling that I had in my first couple of relationships.

Now I am in a happy, healthy, serious relationship that is hopefully headed towards marriage, and I define it as so much more than that feeling. It’s that feeling but with added stuff like trust, security, knowing they’ve got your back, not wanting to live without them, etc. It’s doing things you don’t always want to do because you care about the person. It’s about being unselfish. It’s about being a team. It’s about getting through the not so fun times together.

 

Post # 4
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

LMAO “Does the physical embodiment of cupid walk up to you, smack you and tell you “that’s love?”

I have been married before and I loved him as my bestfriend, however our relationship/marriage sucked. He didn’t treat me nice, instead of having an “off” day once in awhile we brought it up when we had a “good” day, everyday was bad, lots of other things happened as well but it just felt like I was living with a roomate and not a husband. So we divorced, it is what was best for both of us, we both deserved to be happy all the time and that just wasn’t going to happen with eachother.

I’ve been seeing a wonderful man for awhile now and that is love, I just feel the difference everyday, everytime I see him my stomach flip flops and I smile all the time and I just always want to be with him. He tells me all the time how special I am and wonderful and we don’t get into blow up fights like I did with the ex, if we have a disagreement we discuss it before it turns into a problem. I trust him completely and I know he would never hurt me and I cannot imagine my life without him.

It’s different for everyone but that is how I know what love is, because sadly I had to find out what it wasn’t first.

Post # 5
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Love is choosing the witness and leading man in your life.  It’s tangling up their details and yours and caring about all of it.  It’s choosing this person everyday to listen to, grow and laugh with, trust and enjoy completely.  Finding the person who enhances your life and the small details in your daily existence and allowing another person in so far and so completely that you move through life and decisions as one, not as a struggle.  Love Is liking this person beyond outside influences, good looks, all reasonable doubt and feeling genuinely comfortable with them.

Someone will answer this more eloquently than I have.

Post # 6
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think love almost always starts with those butterflies. And as we get to know each other, flaws and all it becomes a decision. Is this annoying habit (because we all have them) something I can live with for the rest of my life. Is the good in this relationship enough that I can accept this….whatever it is…without being resentful. Then it’s a commitment to communication and working on things. Also a willingness to trade in a few of our annoying habits, that are just too much for the other person to live with. It’s respect for a persons core beliefs and values. And in the whole scheme of things we realize the butterflies are just infatuation. But with any luck, we get to be infatuated with the one we love. I think it’s awesome that after almost 5 years together, my heart still skips a beat when I hear his ring tone. But I have my days when it doesn’t. Days when one of us has a particularly rough day, and the other just wants to provide a safe haven. I had an Aunt once tell me love it’s an action word, and I believe that to be true. And it takes action to keep the butterflies. To sum it up, love starts as a feeling, followed by examination, then it’s a decision followed by action to keep it alive.

Post # 7
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think love is how you define it, (which is what you’re asking I suppose lol).

@angelaandchet:  I respectfully disagree that all love starts with those butterflies. It’s been set as a standard I feel, and in large I’m sure a lot of couples DO experience it, but not all! (I agree with everything else!)

The relationship with my SO of 3.5 years did not start with those butterflies. No head over heels, dizzy, spinning sensations at least for him. As we talked about our relationship we were both nervous that he didn’t have that set of sensations, we were worried that something wasn’t right. That’s what your ‘supposed’ to feel right? Close family and friends said we definitely needed that feeling on both ends for it to work between us. After months of that in the back of minds we said screw it. That’s not how he’s wired. And we’re okay with it.

He deeply cares for me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually and that’s what I call love. Growing together. Imagining your life without that person in it and being left with a giant void that would take time to fill.

 

Post # 9
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@leelee26 well, i stand corrected. I never should have used an “absolute” statement to begin with. I would like to apologize now, if that hurt you or anyone else in any way. What I should have said, was love often starts with those butterflies. The point i was truing to make is the butterflies themselves are not love, but infatuation. Love comes from (IMHO) the decision and action. I do not have butterflies every day. But every day I want to put a smile on his face and make his life happier. That takes action, not just desire. And everyday I know I want to grow old with him.

Post # 10
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@whomajigi I like that, when you want to be alone it means alone together, and not apart. I couldn’t agree more.

Post # 12
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@whomajigi  if it’s anti social tendencies, then so be it. Add me to the list.  I don’t consider it anti.social though, it’s actually kind of social if you think about it. We would rather be alone together then apart……Or maybe that’s just my justification lol.

Post # 13
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

When I look at him, my body releases endorphins. THAT’s how I know baby!

Post # 14
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Great topic btw.

Post # 15
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@angelaandchet:  No offense taken! Like I said, love is how you define it.Smile

Post # 16
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Love for me is trust and loyalty. Knowing that person will be there for you no matter what. 🙂

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