Post # 1
I was engaged to my ex, but I called off the wedding 3 years ago because I knew he wasn’t the one for me. Hardest thing that I’ve ever done. We had gotten pretty far into the wedding planning. Fast forward to now, SO and I are planning on getting married next spring (in a very different type of wedding from my first one was going to be). We are saving for a house, so we are very money conscious right now. I have my dress from my previous wedding that I’ve toyed with the idea of wearing – it is so me, I love this dress! I would change it from a long dress to a short dress and change all of the accessories that I would wear with it. Would you wear it? My dad said absolutely not, but I just don’t know. I will look, of course, but should I just sell that dress now and not think about it?
Also, my parents had put deposits on a photographer and a DJ (over $1000) each for the past wedding. Neither of them would (understandably) refund the deposit when the wedding was cancelled, but both of them generously said that they would let me use that money in the future. Would you take them up on that and use the photographer and DJ that were booked for a previous wedding?
Please don’t bash me for any of this. I most likely will just scrap it all and start fresh, but it does seem like a waste of $5000 to not use any of it. I’m just looking for opinions on what others would do.
Post # 3
I would ABSOLUTELY use the photog and the DJ. There is no reason to let those deposits go to waste. They are both just professionals who provide a great service (which is why you chose them originally).. they have no tie to your ex. The dress is the only thing I personally would be uncomfortable with. But I’m assuming very few people would even know you bought it for the first wedding so as long as you and your fiance are OK with.. I say go for it.
Post # 4
I would personally sell the dress and start fresh. The photographer and DJ I’d probably use but the dress would just have too many memories, feelings, whatever attached to it for me to use. It was meant to be worn for someone else, and I’d just be afraid of bad juju. I wanted to buy a used dress and couldn’t even get myself to do that. I might be a little crazy though 🙂 I know my fiance would not appreciate me wearing a dress that I bought to marry somebody else in.
Post # 5
The dress I probably wouldnt use. To me, I think it’d be too stuck in my mind that I was envisioning getting married to another man when I bought it. If you go and try on new styles and find that you keep falling back to that as your top pick.. then.. maybe? The DJ and photog I would definitely use though since that much money has gone toward it, and theres less emotional attachment to vendors than a dress.
Post # 6
Definitely use the DJ and photographer!! As you didn’t have the original wedding, they are not actually emotionally attached to that. Its just good sense to make use of the lost deposits. The dress is your personal decision, but if you love it and have no previous attachment and your fiance wouldn’t mind. I say go for it! Thats better than wearing a ‘second choice’ dress if you really love the first one.
Post # 7
Use it all! I would have absolutely no problem using the photog, DJ or dress. It sounds like you are changing the dress anyway. You never even wore it for a wedding.
The only area I would see concern is if you were trying to reuse something that represented a past relationship – for example, you met former FI in Paris and were having an Eiffel tower themed wedding then and trying to reuse that now. I fail to see any way the dress, DJ or photographer represents your past relationship. Honestly, I wouldn’t even question this. Weddings are expensive. Go for it!
Post # 8
Thanks ladies! I’m glad to hear your responses. It’s a relief to know that others would use the DJ and photographer. I should probably just sell the dress now so I’m not tempted! It’s a gorgeous, never worn Anne Barge.
Post # 9
I would absolutely use the photographer and DJ. Nothing sentimental about those. The dress is a tough call. Have you talked to your SO about it?
Post # 10
@nhoh: Do you have pictures of you in it? Or even a picture of the dress?
I always thought the dress mainly represented the bride’s style and personality, so again, I see nothing wrong with using it.
Post # 11
@nhoh: As many PP’s have said, I would definitely utilize the services of the DJ and Photographer! However, I would check them out once again and make certain that they offer the same quality of services they initially had. In respect to the gown, if you feel it’s still “you” and wouldn’t offend your FI, I would consider wearing it. Maybe you could make some slight changes so that it wouldn’t be identical to the original gown. Just a thought…