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Some people have the MIL from h-e-double hockey-sticks. And some luck out. Either way no matter how good or bad she is, there has to at least be something you love about her. Let's hear yours!
Mine is overbearing at times and pretty talkative even when I'm not in the mood to have a discussion but I always know 100% I can trust her. I can tell her absolutely anything and it will never leave that room. We have had private discussions that she has not shared with anyone, including my FI. I love and respect her for that.
My FMIL has welcomed me into her family with open arms from the very beginning. She tells me she loves me (and told me that, like, the third time I ever met her, which was kind of awkward) and that she thinks of me as a daughter, not a daughter in law.
I actually am not that close to her - we live 2000 miles away and we don't have a lot in common. But I am super grateful that she has been so kind and welcoming.
Mine gave me some horse treats for my bunnies that they love. I was skeptical of them at the time but she insisted (she always insists) and I'm glad I just took them and tried them out because the buns love them. I know I can get more from her too because she buys them for horses so she has tons.
I love that my (almost) FMIL is such a great mom to my SO. She's not overbearing, but is really involved in his life. She isn't quite as talkative as I'd probably like, but she's very warm and I always feel welcome in their house. I think she'll be an AMAZING grandmother one day based on the way she treats my dog. She loves her so much and calls her her grand-dog! :)
That she did such a great job raising my FI. He is kind, generous, loving, supportive, and hard-working amongst other things. You can tell she set really high expectations for her kids to live up to.
She has also been very kind to my daughter-welcoming her with open arms.
I love alot of things about my FMIL. She's a very interesting person, and we have great conversations. She's a retired journalist, and has a great appreciation for the arts. She is also a genuinely nice person, who did a great job raising her son to be a decent, good hearted man, and for that alone, I will always love her.
@maureen9004: LOL!!!
I love that I have a relationship with MIL that doesn't exist solely on DH being there at the same time. She calls just to chat, we'll go out shopping or for coffee together. I'm really lucky!!!
Mine is so genuinely happy to have us in her life. She gives us space but also is there if we need her. She also accepted my 3 year old son as a grandson. My ex MIL was so terrible, and I really appreciate this woman so much.
I love mine. She's going to bartending school right now, if that tells you something about the type of gal she is. Which is awesome.
Oh my goodness, I LOVE my FMIL to death!! She is a second mom to me, esp. since my own mother and I have our issues. She's even in my phone as "Other Mother" lol. She's been introducing me as her daughter-in-law since the first year we were dating. I can't just pick one thing I love about her... I will say she did a great job raising her son. My FI is very respectable and well-mannered and treats his mother in a way that just makes me smile.
FMIL even went to my dress fitting yesterday and of course she cried lol :) She's truly one of the best!
I love that she let us use her condo up north to go skiing when she's not using it? Otherwise. . .not so much. It's kind of hard when she is unconvincingly fake nice to your face, mean behind your back, and treats her own sons crappy. I'm trying, I'm tryingggggggggg!
She is the most kind and caring person I have ever met, she will do anything for anyone no matter what it is, and has welcomed me into the family from the very begining. I can only hope I am as sweet as she is someday! And she did a wonderful job raising the love of my life!
@maureen9004: I can beat ya on that one! Mine is over 6,000 miles away in Japan! (They are in the southern part of the country away from all of the horrific happenings, thank goodness!)
I love that my MIL raised a son that is fiscally responsible and he has taught me to become more responsible (i.e. get out of debt). I also appreciate that she's always very sociable when we're together and loves to give us goodies from Japan.
@maureen9004: I second that! SHE lives far far away and has no way of finding out where we live (for now).
Oh! And I guess that she raised a really good guy.. there are so few of these :)
I love that she raised Mr, to love the Lord, and still encourages him in his walk.
I love that she sang to them when they were little.
I love that she lives in North Carolina- that's 476 miles, 8 hours and an entire mountain range away.
I love that my MIL will tell her sister off when she is being crazy on Facebook. No one will ever tell Mrs. Crazy Pants that she is being crazy except for my MIL, haha. I don't have to feel bad that I think my DH's Aunt is crazy because my MIL thinks so too! Love it!
Also, she is super generous, which I'm totally not used to and appreciate so much.
Even though she can be a little anal (ok, a LOT) about things, she always cracks me up after she's had a margarita or two!
My MIL and I have a lot of issues between us, way too many to list.
I will say however, she is a great grandmother to our daughter and loves her beyond words. So in that regard I always want her to be in our daughter's life, and I would never push her away. Just because I don't get along with her doesn't mean my daughter won't have a wonderful relationship with her.
She is just an interesting person and I know if I need help or something done I can count on her.
That she has a big heart, that she wants to always help and take care of everyone.
That I truly believe she loves me and is looking forward to me being a part of the family officially.
Of course like many things these are also some of the things that annoy me:) (in how she can go about demonstrating them)
First I want to say that this thread makes me smile- while venting is one of the best elements of this forum (it is sooo necessary sometimes)- it's really nice also to celebrate the positive!
My favorite quality about my FMIL is that she has good intentions- she always means well and is very kind.
I love that she minds her own business, is an excellent dog sitter and that she has a crazy stockpile of house supplies that we raid when FIs parents are out of town ;-)
I love that I no longer have to have contact with mine. She is an evil witch from you know where. She never liked me while we were dating, cried the entire day that we got married, and talked about me behind my back for years. My husband finally told her "where to go" and we cut all ties. It's been 9 years since I've had to listen to her screeching voice and I am thankful. It also cut off ties with his father since of course, he sided with his wife. My FIL actually told my husband that he never wanted him anyway. Words were spoken that can never be taken back and we feel blessed that they are both out of our lives. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
I love that both my MIL and SMIL obviously love and care about my DH so much and shower him with attention and support all the time. And they accepted me from day #1 with open arms, I've never felt unwelcome or like an outsider. They did so much for our wedding without being asked or prompted and there has never been any drama with either. I feel like a lucky girl and now I have 3 wonderful Moms to share my life experiences with.
I love that my FMIL and I get on so well, too. I am genuinely looking forward to spending time with her when I offically become a part of thier family.
Glad to hear so many others have great relationships with thier (F)MILs, too. We truly are lucky.
Mine is one of my biggest supports! I am lucky to have her for a (f)MIL. She is a great person and loves me unconditionally.
she is an amaaaaaaaazing cook and wonderful person. she works tirelessly and is chockful of wedding ideas! :D
I love talking to my MIL! I miss her so much right now.
i love that i will be able to leave my future kids with her with no worry in my mind -she is an amazing mother and has raised a beautiful family. She hugged me as we were leaving last night and said love you. i feel terrible for not saying it back..but it took me by surprise.
@maureen9004: same here. Mine's a few states away. Best thing ever!! As awful as she's treated me over the years, I will say that she makes very good grits.
My MIL is the most giving person. She has such a sweet spirit. She is so good at making people feel comfortable and valued. I hope I'm a good mother like she is someday!
I'm so appreciative of how she's raised my husband--he's sensitive and caring in part, because of her. She has welcomed me as another daughter and I'm really grateful to have family in this town--my own family lives 5 hours away, and right now my mom is really sick so she's not able to be here for me at all.
I love my FMIL- she is like a 3rd set of grandparents to my neice and nephew, i love her like my own mother and could easily see myself call her mom in the future, I love her for the considerate and loving son she raised, she tells me that i'm the best thing thats ever happened to her son. She even took her mothers engagement ring off her hand for my FI to use the diamond from it. Couldn't ask for better approval then that :)
EDIT: what a great thread btw!
@Mrs.ChubbyBunny: I just wanted to say that it was really nice of you to start a positive MIL thread! Even if there are some out there who don't get along with their MIL, they raised the wonderful men that we are marrying or did marry!
I love that my MIL accepted me fully as the daughter she never had. Not once has she ever made me feel like I wasn't a part of the family, and I know that's definitely a blessing!
Thank you for all the wonderful comments ladies! I know everyone has had at least one moment with their (F)MIL where they could rip their hair out (and hers). But I had to sit back and realize how truly lucky I was to even have her. My relationship with my own mom has struggled so much throughout the years (my mom walked out on my brother and I when I was 13 years old). Having my FMIL in my life has been a blessing and I love her like my own mother. She raised the man of my dreams and did it by herself! Beautiful strong women like her are inspirations to me.
Next time you see her, give her a great big hug. @totheislnds: make sure you tell her you love her!! Something you don't want to regret later.
To the women who have stuggled: I am sorry that you have had such hard times with your MILs. Sometimes it is best to cut ties, as some people will do everything possible in order to purposely sabotage a very important relationship. Unfortunately walking away is sometimes the best option. Prayers and hugs for you from me!
I love my FMIL's sugar cookies! She makes them homemade with real frosting everytime we come to visit! (And I wonder why I gained so much weight since dating FI!!)
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