Post # 1
My best piece of advice that is SO painful, but so true, is:
If a guy wanted to ask you out, call you, make time to see you, text you, HE WOULD. So if he’s not, it’s because you’re not on his mind. Stop making excuses and don’t be the one reaching out to him.
Post # 2
Great advice! Well… i don’t remember any dating advice tbh. But i’ll follow this thread.
Post # 3
“You don’t have to let the whole bag of crazy out on the first date.”
It’s good to open up some, especially if you’re looking for something serious. But they don’t need to hear your whole life story the second they meet you.
I’m the queen of doing this wrong. Good thing my husband thinks it’s cute!
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard
kerplunk00: right? if he’s into you, then the beginning of the relationship should be easy. no agonizing over phone calls, etc. a big red flag for me is if he says he doesn’t have much time for dating. if he was really into you, he’d make time.
I was aware of all this when I was still single, but unfortunately I never listened to my own advice.
Post # 5
Always listen to your friends.
I had a few bf’s in my time that my friends would gently give me their worries and I always ignored them or even started fights and said stupid things like they’re jelous. They always turned out right. I know there are exceptions, but I think for the most part, if your friends are concerned, then you should be too.
Post # 6
date multiple people, it’s how you weed out the ones that aren’t truly interested, and you start noticing the qualities you love Or hate in a person.
Post # 7
kerplunk00: How does he behave under stress?
Are you making him a priority, while he sees you as an option?
Does he keep his word?
Post # 8
kerplunk00: if it’s over it’s because he could see his life without you. You hold out for someone who can’t.
Post # 9
“When a guy likes you, you won’t have to wonder if he does or not, it’ll be obvious.” This seems so obvious but when I look back at my past relationships / crushes, whatever, it was so true even if I didn’t always realize it. I once spent an embarassingly long time crushing over someone and wondering how they felt about me, trying to decode the mixed signals. What a waste of time! When I met my FI, there was no question that he was interested. He called, he texted, he was there for me, he asked me questions, he complimented me, he did nice things for me, he kept his word, etc. x infinity…
Post # 10
My mother’s advice when I was going through a wild high school relationship – “The real thing won’t be this hard.”
How right she was. Actually, I have two friends now in my 30s who could use this advice with their current SOs. It shouldn’t be a struggle. Not to say there will never be problems, but if it is a constant dramatic struggle… you aren’t right for each other.
Post # 11
Oh, this is so true. I could have saved myself so much heartache & humiliation had I figured it out sooner.
Post # 12
The “if he’s into you…” advice is really good. I spent so much of my youth/early 20s chasing after guys, making all of the first moves, giving them my phone number, etc., and it ended up in blazing-horrible rejection 99% of the time. The one exception to this is my husband: I actually kissed him first, asked him out first, and proposed to him first. He was usually a step or two behind. But, he was an exception rather than the rule: it’s true that if most men are interested, they’ll find a way to let you know. You’re either looking straight past it if they are interested, or it’s just not there. Odds are it’s probably the latter, and you can’t force it.
Best dating advice I ever heard and followed: pros and cons lists. It sounds elementary schoolish, but I remember creating one when I was with my first (awful) boyfriend. On an intellectual level, I knew he was awful. But struggling to come up with a second positive trait for him on the “pro” list made it painfully obvious to me that it needed to end. There were probably 20 – 30 I mustered in the ‘cons’ list. After dumping him, I created another one: of what I would and wouldn’t accept, and what I did and didn’t need. I kept it close every time I got back out into the dating world…because I needed a reminder when my heart started getting in the way.
Post # 13
When I was like 15 or so and had my first real boyfriend, I walked into my mom’s room to borrow nail polish or something. She was in her bed, watching Oprah, who was interviewing a bunch of teenagers about safe sex or something like that. My mom sits up, looks at me and says “Never give oral sex. There’s nothing in it for you.” And then laid back down.
Weirdest, most awkward moment of my life. But honestly, it’s the only dating advice I can really remember getting.
Post # 14
Maybe this isn’t dating advice as much as it’s relationship advice but it’s a piece of info I will always give to new couples who are debating whether or not they should move in together… You never FULLY know someone until you’ve lived with them. You can see each other every day and text all the time and talk on the phone but until you spend every minute of every day with them doing every day stuff, you do no know that person deep down. & I say that not to look down my nose at couples who haven’t moved in together, I say it as an exciting new adventure that you’re eventually going to go on and it’ll be like falling in love with that person all over again. (Hopefully! It was go either way I suppose. you might hate seeing your partner that much! :P)
i say this because I was raised Christian and raised to believe it was a sin to live with your partner before marriage, but, until your in that situation, it’s hard to judge. I moved in with my fi before marriage and I’m so happy I did. I think that’s why some people say “the first year of marriage is the hardest” because you’re just then getting to know the real him or her! And it takes a lot of adjusting. But I’m so happy we chose to live together first. When I have kids I’m going to tell them the same thing. I don’t want my kids marrying someone they don’t fully know! No way! but to each his own, I mean I disrespect to those who choose to wait.
Post # 15
Don’t base your life around your SO. (Granted, this is good advice when it’s early in the relationship or you’re young – in a serious relationship/marriage, you have to consider the other person.)
Neither DH nor I chose our colleges or career paths based on the other person, and it let us grow into our own people and a stronger couple. Now, of course, we consider each other, but there is no resentment left over from one of us giving up our plans for the other.