Post # 1
After almost 2 1/2 years, I’ve FINALLY just realized why my SO & I argue over stupid shit too much.
My SO is one of those people who just accepts things. I don’t know the term to classify it but if her mom says “do this”, she says “okay”…same with her boss, her sister….basically anyone and specifically anyone in a position of authority (in her mind.) She’s not a door mat but things coming from someone higher up at work or from a family member, they just ARE to her. The reason why doesn’t matter.
She also expects others to not question things and gets frustrated when they do. I am a HUGE questioner. I want to know WHY….for absolutely everything. Even if SO said “I want to marry you”, I would likely say “why?” lol
This difference is HUGE and causes a LOT of disagreements between us. So I want to know what the biggest is between you and your SO/FI/DH/DW? Does it cause arguments? How do you/did you work to get past it?
Post # 3
@soontobemrsm11: our biggest difference is that I collect and maintain friendships over different eras of my life. He maintains a few really good friendships but doesn’t care for that second tier. He doesn’t use facebook to keep in touch and his friend list for the wedding is probably 20% of mine.
This doesn’t really cause us arguments, but sometimes I do wish he was better at maintaining those types of relationships. I fear we’ll reach a point where we/he has no outside friendships which puts a lot of strain and codependency feelings on each other. I always want to have girls nights/ trips and the like!
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I think our biggest difference is I tend to be much more structured, organized, clean, and like to be on time to things. FI is much more go with the flow, we get there when we get there, and doesn’t understand why I would stress about cleaning before company comes over. Mostly it balances out pretty well.
Post # 5
@Andthepupmakes3: I can see that being frustrating. I’m more like him though I used to be more like you! lol
Post # 6
The biggest difference between my FI and I is that I do things quickly but not perfectly, while he does things slowly and methodically.
Sometimes this is great, like when we painted our house, he did all the cutting around doors and windows, and I did the rolling. It was done well, and in good time! But sometimes this causes fights, like when I quickly clean the house and miss a bunch of stuff, while he would spend a half hour vacuuming the stairs which would frustrate me because it takes so long.
In the past year we have just decided to accept these traits in each other, and see the positive in the ways we are different.
Post # 7
@soontobemrsm11: Ours is similar to yours; I’m very assertive, OH is less so. However, he’s got better over the last couple of years.
Another one is probably tidiness; I don’t see the point in, for example, making the bed, as I’m only going to get into it and mess it up again; but he likes it to be neat and tidy. This is no big deal though; I just make sure that I make it when he’s around (we don’t live together yet), and will always make it when we’re living together. So that’s more a case of adapting/compromise.
Thankfully our political and religious views are very similar, as well as our general outlook/opinions.
Post # 8
My DH is much more extroverted, and I am a true introvert.
Post # 9
I do everything really quickly. I’m a fast reader, fast talker, etc. It’s not that I don’t do these things correctly, it’s just that I move quickly and my brain does too. My SO is SO SLOW. At everything. He moves slowly, he gets ready slowly, he reads slowly. It drives me NUTS when I’m trying to get somewhere or do something at my pace. It also causes him to be late to EVERYTHING, which is my #1 pet peeve.
Post # 10
Ours is that he’s a big family function person and I am not. It doesn’t cause fights. I go when I want to go and don’t when I don’t want to go. He accepts it.
Post # 11
I’m also an obsessive rule follower, and so is my DH. We don’t really question demands, aside from to point out that doing it a certain way might be more efficient!
DH and I mostly fight about sex! I want it way more than he does. And it’s not so much fighting as me going “Come onnnn… It’s been like… 4 days!”
Post # 12
@BrandNewBride: Horny pregnant lady 😛
The biggest difference between MrPanda99 and I is that he has a penis and I do NOT!
Post # 13
I think FI takes more time to think things through and such, whereas I’m more of a jump feet first into some things (not all!) kind of girl…
Post # 14
Our biggest difference is that he’s very Type C, while I’m determinedly Type A.
Post # 15
@MrsPanda99: Seriously! We have a running joke that if we ever switched genders I’d be in jail for sexual harassment…
Post # 16
My FI is super-organized and logical. He’s all about lists and comparison charts. I’m all about gut feelings and emotions. It works out really well when we work together (although we occasionally get frustrated with each other). Planning a new kitchen together was the greatest execution of this. He made charts and pro/con lists about every aspect we talked about, even did a spreadsheet to figure out where we wanted to budget more or less. I did all of the color schemes and asthetic aspects based on what the budgets were for those particular items.
And now we have a glorious kitchen in which to cook, which is the thing we have most in common. Food.