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I just made an appointment for dress shopping in a few weeks and my mom is flying in from out of town to help me pick a dress. FMIL lives in the city we'll be shopping in, so I also invited her. I knew it means a lot to her and I would hate for her to feel excluded. I also have 2 bridesmaids in town who are really excited to go shopping with us.
I'm excited to make a day of it with everyone, but my mom mentioned she thinks it may be too many people and I'll never be able to make a decision. She also wants to have fun and include everyone, but she said her friends have said they found dresses more easily when they just went back to the shop alone with their daughter.
What do you think? When it comes to dress shopping, is it the more the merrier, or do too many shopping companions add up to too many opinions?
I took my mom and my MOH. I wanted a young person there with better style. My mom still wears "Bill Cosby" sweaters LOL!
I think it really depends.
I think the important thing is to have people there that will give you constructive criticism while still respecting what YOU will want. And not what they envision you in.
Does that make sense?
I did the BM thing and the mom thing for the experience, I am glad I did it. In the long run, I picked out my dress alone. I know that there wasn't the presure to buy something I was unsure of. I found my actual dress at DB in the middle of a weekday. They were really slow so the consultants were awesome about helping me and I think I tried on every dress in the store. I am totally sure that my dress is "my" dress.
I had 5 people, and it was fun! In the end, you have to make your decision.....they're just there to support you!
I think smaller is better. You really dont want too many opinions or people overpowering your appt. I am taking my mom, FI's mom and my sister.
I'd stick with going alone.
My mom has some problems, so any sort of clothes shopping with her will probably end up with me in a burlap sack. I'd be surprised if she even wanted to come along, to be honest.
I don't really have any friends, or none that I'd want to(or could, they're far away) take with me shopping.
Obvs can't take FI.
FI's mom and sister, they would be most likely who I'd end up going with, but my style is so much different from theirs, it wouldn't work out.
For most of my shopping I just took my mom and that was fine, but for part of it I also took a bridesmaid and it was kind of fun for it to be a 3 person thing :)
It was alot of fun going with my girls, but in the end, I went with my mom and bought my dress alone with her. (Although she didn't really have any opinions, so it was the same as going by myself.) It's hard when there's too many people and sometimes you end up looking at their faces to see what they think rather than allowing your own opinions to form. Maybe you need a big fun trip like this to have the experience together and then you can make the decision on your own later if it becomes overwhelming?
I went with my Mum and BMs and to be honest I found it too much. Second time I just took my Mum and it was much better, much calmer, so I could more of it in.
I took my MOH and 1 BM. Overall, they were pretty supportive because I went to about 8 different bridal stores before deciding on a dress so I know they were tired of going to different stores.
However, ultimately, I was by myself when I actually decided on a dress.
If I had had to make multiple trips, I would've spread the love more. But my mom was in town for the weekend, and we found the dress the first day, so that was that. I went back with a friend to try it on again and place my order, then brought FMIL when MY dress came in to see it. My first alterations appointment I did alone, and then my mom will be back in town when I go to see how the alterations look. It worked for me to only bring one person at a time. I think it depends on your dynamic though. I was shoe shopping with my mom, best friend and sister once, and my mom showed me cute but odd shoes, my friend thought I had chosen them and teased me about how awful they were, and then got my sister to support her assessment. So I wouldn't have wanted all three of them when I was choosing a wedding dress, even though they obviously would've been more supportive.
it depends on your personality and who understands your style the most. I went with just 1 person I could have gone with more but while they were my friends I dont think they get my style enough and would not give the feedback I needed.
I had my mom, my sister and another bridesmaid go with the first time. Then I went by myself a couple of times. The last time I went I had my mom, sister, and bridesmaid with me again. I think it's a good idea especially if you plan to go several times to go with people and go yourself too. It was two different experiences for me, but I'm glad I did both.
It really does depend on your personality. My "round one" experience was with my MOH (and her newborn baby - but she was a dream!) and my mom. The second was with the above mentioned ladies and my FMIL. While it was nice to have her there, her and I don't have the same sense of style, which my MOH and mom just knew.
Some tips:
- do not shop with someone who is planning a wedding (literally) or thinking about her future wedding day, that person, bless her, just won't have your best intentions at heart as she will be planning her own day in her head.
- the more people = the more opinions. If you can't handle 10 different opinions, then don't bring 10 girls. It's fairly simple math :) I personally can't handle everyone making their opinions known, I like the quiet, so I would say, the less, the better!
i always went with just one person--my mom, my fmil, or once my hubby bc my mom wasn't in town and fmil was busy. until the last time, that is, when i went in 90% sure i was buying the dress, so in that case my mom and moh were there to give the final push i needed (my moh gasped when she saw it on me, which def helped seal the deal! :) ) i had had trouble deciding between a couple options, so i ended up buying my dress the 3rd time i had it on, and the salon being patient with me def helped me choose to work with them! though, i had sent pics of the final 2 dresses (on models) to my bms so they could help me figure out which was more "me," so i did get more people's input, just not in person
Well no matter what I would say 5 max.
But, other than that, it really depends on the personalities. If you have 2 really opinionated people, it might be hard to consider what you really want.
Depends but generally the LESS the better, but it doesn't have to be ZERO. Those who *must* like it should come. Everyone WILL NOT like your dress, but for those who must like your mom, grandma, and your style girl (the one who always tells you good and bad and whoose opinion you trust and whoose is generally in line with YOURS)
I voted two or three, but I honestly think the more important issue is WHO you choose. I wanted people with me who had my best interests at heart, who love me and who aren't the jealous or critical or negative type.
Like other people have said, it really depends on your personality and personal preference. You really have to determine things like--Who do you most want sharing in this experience with you? Who's advice is indispensable to you? Who will genuinely be there for you and support you? Once you answer all those questions for yourself, I think you have your answer :)
When I went dress shopping I always had my mom and either my sister (MOH) or close friend (bm). Personally, I thought two was a great number because it gave me a variety of opinions and everyone was included in the experience.
To add: I went with just my Mom, I would have taken my MOH and but she was travelling. I picked it out easily and my mom agreed all the way.
All my maids came with me for my fitting... though several months later.
Thanks to everyone for your help! Everyone has great advice. I think I will take a few people to my first appointment and if it's too overwhelming, I might just try to go back with my mom.
On a side note, if you'd like to share how many appointments you made/how many stores you went to, that would be really helpful to me as well! I am trying to put together some appointments and I'm not sure how to organize the limited time my mom will be in town.
@MaraBeth: I went to six different stores and had eight appointments. The most we did was two a day. But we always tried on a ton of dresses at each store :) Since your mom is in town for a limited time, I'm sure you could do more stores. Just make sure you take a break in between with lunch or something. You don't want to get burnt out trying on dresses since it's such a fun experience. So just take your time, be patient with yourself on finding the one and enjoy it!
@Golden139: Oh wow, 8 appointments! I wish I had the time (or stamina!) for that. I think we're going to try to do lunch, two appointments on Saturday afternoon, and one on Sunday afternoon. I guess if I don't find something I will just have to go back on my own or just with one friend. I'm looking forward to trying on dresses but I'm secretly hoping I'll be one of those girls who loves the first dress she tries on!
I'm excited that so many people want to come dress shopping with me, but I'm sure it will be very overwhelming, as many PPs have said. I think everyone I have asked will be supportive and not overly critical...it will probably still be sort of a circus, though! Oh well, I think that will just be part of the fun and experience of it. I usually like to shop by myself for things, but this is the one instance in which I think I'll appreciate having people there with me.
@MaraBeth: I knew what store I wanted to purchase from, so that part was easy. I tried on about 20 dresses in round one and ten in round two (round two was at a bridal trunk show four weeks later, so it was a little crazy), so overall, thirty dresses in two shopping experiences.
(I needed to try on lots of dresses though as I had NO IDEA what kind of dress I even liked, so you might not have to try on so many if you know what kind of dress you prefer)....
I have gone alone but I prefer having 2-3 people there. That way I can get different opinions and show of how great I look in big fancy dresses I can hardly afford!!!
As this conversation is going on, I was chatting with MOH online (she lives about 5 hours away) and she says, "I want to come, too!" I fear I may be spiraling out of control and turning into one of those crazy girls on Say Yes to the Dress who brings a big crazy entourage...
@Ms Hedgehog: Ooh, I see you're in Dallas--I'm going shopping there, too! I'm curious where you went to look at dresses! I'll PM you :)
Quality over quantity
Bring people that you feel comfortable in front of- both body issue wise and people who will respect your budget and that will give honest feedback but will ultimately let your opinion stand on top.
I went with just my mom and that was perfect for me. When I purchased the dress, I brought an aunt and cousin (BM) and my dad. But I only tried on the one dress in front of them.
Really, you just want fun and supportive people around you that are going to make it a memorable, positive experience.
GO with someone who has VERY similar taste as you. HELPS A LOT!
Don't go with people that are nit picky and verbal about it, think completely opposite of what you think, and have this idea of what a "wedding dress" should look like. Trust me, it'll save you the headache. =P
Well, it was zero - one for me. I bought my dress online but I e-mailed it to my mom for her opinion before purchasing. Had I decided to go dress shopping in stores, I'd have brought just my mom. Personally, I'd rather have the opinion of one person I really trust than a whole gaggle of girls with different opinions - that's too confusing and stressful for me.
I loved the amount of people I took - I took three. My mom, my sister, and my best friend/MOH. I know they all know my tastes and preferences and would never pressure me to buy something I wouldn't love.
I didn't want my other BMs there though, because I felt like maybe they would try and push their tastes and preferences onto my decision, as well as "too many cooks in the kitchen." Not that I feel like they're bad people (OBVIOUSLY - I love them to death) I just wanted to limit the opinions to those closest to me.
@MaraBeth: I'm from the Dallas area too, and saw your post to Ms. Hedgehog, so I thought I'd share with you the stores I went to in the metroplex also:
David's Bridal in Frsico
Demetrios in Frisco
Addison Bridal Couture in Addison
Mockingbird Bridal in Dallas
Lulu's Bridal in Dallas
Alfred Angelo in Frisco
I had enjoyable experiences at all of the shops and would recommend any of them, but my favorites were Addison Bridal Couture and Lulu's. I actually ended up buying my dress at Lulu's :) Let me know if you have any questions or want more info!
i went with just my mom and my sister who is my maid of honor. i just wanted their support.
I went with my mom and sister. I didn't want a bunch of women all with different likes/dislikes to confuse me. I knew that my mom and sis would never let me pick out something that didn't look amazing on me, so I was in good hands.
Hm. I think I went to 5/6 appointments total.
5 different bridal stores, 4 were local to where I live with only my MOH.
1 of which was back home so I went with my mom and SIL/BM. That time it was more because I wanted to go try on a Jim Hjelm and I wanted to go dress shopping at least once with my mom.
The 6th time was to go back to look at a gown I liked and my MIL was in town so I wanted to show her and to purchase the wedding gown. :)
When it comes time for me, I'll probably take my mom, grandma and FMIL. FMIL doesn't have daughters (5 boys) and I think it would be great to include her.
I may take one BM as well, depending on who is in town. They are all pretty spread out.
I said 2-3, I brought my mom the first time (to choose a dress), and my mom and MOH when I went back to purchase- to make sure she liked it too. I thought it was perfect that way, because my mom is a good judge of my emotions and rather than telling me what she liked, she told me when she saw the face that told her I found it :)
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