- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Do you have to get everyone a gift?
I don't mean to sound rude or anything but we're already spending a fair bit with the wedding, is it a must to have gifts for the guests?
A lil insight into our wedding, nothing big... small garden wedding and then small reception back at our place (no sit down meal either) so it's not like we have tables to place each gift down anyway... kindda stuck... help.
I dont want to offend anyone either... already done that this year HA HA
we weren't going to actually have a reception (when we were looking at restrants etc) because it was going to have $5000 min for that and man we could have such an awesome honeymoon with that money.. anyway we thought we would mention it to each of our parents and see what they thought.. told my mum and step dad and they were like 'yeah thats fine, its your wedding.. your day, have it how you want it" LOL so then we told his mum LMAO!!! omg i couldn't believe she said this "thats a bit rude not having a reception, people are travelling all that way and your not even going to feed them?" and i was like "yeah but its not going to be anything big" "Yeah but what are people meant to eat" LOL i walked away saying "bring a sandwich" grr that made me a lil angry. so we're have the reception at our place (and no not because of her but because of lil things i dont want to miss out on like the cake and the first dance)
anyway i've gone completely off the subject HA HA sorry!
The point is to show thankfulness for the well wishes & gifts your guests will be getting you.
Favors don't need to be expensive- they can be as simple as wrapped homemade cookies w/ a thank you tag or even leftover cake. Food favors are always a big hit & never go to waste!
Some people feel they aren't necessary, but it is a nice guesture to show your thanks for all the effort that your friends & family put into your wedding day!
Thanks! i see your point.
Also... if i'm not having a big sit down reception how do i hand them out?
DSCN2781.jpg (467 KB, 38 downloads) 1 year old 
I've also seen people donate to a charity in their guests' name/honor. Then, they provided the guests with a little note on the donation, to where, why, etc. I've seen it done in a real classy way. Perhaps choosing a charity that's close to the both of you and not something random. One of my friends suffered from diabetes and other complications and they gave a donation to a diabetes foundation.
Hope that helps. That might make it easier to hand out. You could print the note on nice paper, roll it up and tie with ribbon, place it in a basket for guests to pick up as they arrive.
This past weekend I was at a wedding with no favors whatsoever. I am fairly close with the bride so I knew that the wedding was on a strict budget. In fact we were got a B-list invite.
It was really weird not to see a favor. Can I just say that people notice that? It's not that we're greedy we just want a little something to have as a favor. I agree that they dont' have to be expensive.
It isn't necessary, and many people are opting not to have favors. However, if you aren't offering them a meal, may I ask where the majority of the budget is going? Small little candies can be affordable and not take up a lot of room. I would be irked if I went to a wedding where NOTHING was for the guest, i.e. no food, no favors etc... If I saw that thousands of dollars went into other things like flowers or decorations. This may not be the case in your situation but it is something to consider. Weddings are expensive for guests too, between gifts, travel and attire, it is nice to walk away with something.
Since we are having a garden wedding and I teach botany (amongst other subjects), we are giving packets of wildflower seeds that say WILDFLOWERS FROM OUR WEDDING, with a little note thanking folks for sharing our day. Since we are not getting the seed packets personalized, these packets are running 35 cents apiece. I am just putting them in a basket so guests can help themselves.
They have the same point as a thank you gift for your bridesmaids or an elaborate will-you-be-my-MOH card...you don't HAVE to do it, but if you want to, it will always be noticed and most times be appreciated.
My fiance and I decided to donate to a charity of our choice instead of buying favors for our guests that will likely get left behind or thrown away in a few months. We plan on writing a small note and placing it at each seat or in our program somewhere. Our families think it's a great idea and we're very excited to give some money for a great cause.
We are also making a donation to a research foundation in lieu of favors. We're placing nice cards on the reception tables informing our guests of the donation. I have been to many weddings, and I can't tell you how many dinky coasters, cheap frames, candy boxes, pens, fans, etc etc I have thrown away!
@bluespurs, I like the idea of seed packets! :)
You can always make something small that serves multiple purposes so you don't feel like its going to "waste".
I made little name tags with everyone's name out of clay and am putting them on fishing wire like a key chain, this will serve as a favor as well as place cards
From the official etiquette standpoint, favors aren't required. So if you're serving food and drink, you're pretty excused from giving favors. The thinking is you've already thrown the party, so you really don't have to give guests something to "entertain" them.
I was intending to skip favors, but I'm leaning toward the candy buffet with take-home bags now. It's a pretty visual element and this way I offered something.
dress_redone.JPG (32.7 KB, 84 downloads) 1 year old
GabGal - We are serving food but its not a sit down meal, we're having sushi and chicken nibbles things (such as mini spring roll, pastry thingys etc) and we're also putting aside about $100 for Alcohol (wine and Beer) so it's almost $400 for food and drink.. then the rest of our budget is dress (mine and stepdaughter who is BM), suits (grooms and step sons who is the page boy) then we have the ceremony venue, photographer. Plus the rings... and the honeymoon.
I dont think i'm even having flowers because they cost so much.
I'm finding that people who go on about "oh i didn't get anything from the wedding" i think thats rude... your not there to get presents, your there to witness/celebrate the joining of two people in marrige.... but i guess if people who have tons of money to spend on OTT weddings then i guess you should kindda expect a lil something but yeah... sorry just having a vent.
A few people who i have been talking to at work about wedding stuff have said to me "oh if you not going to having flowers/or have a reception/or do whatever 'normal' wedding have then you might as well not have one... just go elope" LOL i no longer talk about my wedding plans with anyone BUT my fiance :P
Diorable - OMG I LOVE the idea of the candy buffet!! OMG OMG!! i was already thinking about having a big bowl or two filled with certain coloured Jelly beans to match the wedding colours... OMG!! thank you! i think thats what i'm going to do!
CANDY CANDY CANDY CANDY!!!!!! *jumps up and down* HAHA note to self... keep an eye on the kids near the candy table HA HAHA!!
Mums wedding i made white chocolate mud cupcakes and love heart cookies... my step son, nephew and lil cousin where into them and ate nearly half of them both LOL THEN they were VERY VERY sick (having running around playing afterwards) LOL
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR INPUT!!!!
I'm so happy i've found a board that can help with this sort of things :) YAY!!
I've never understood the point of favors - it seems like half of them get left behind anyways, or people make fun of them.
Yay, another down under bride!
We are having a very similar wedding in Auckland, just a small afternoon ceremony at the public gardens and a 3 hour reception with cocktail food. Since people aren't assigned any seating we are going to put out a big bowl of chocolate hearts (covered in foil in our wedding colours) and pop it on the guest book table for people to munch on or take home.It will kinda serve as desset as well since we are only serving cake after the food.
On a side note, my FI wanted to get married the day you are but I told him I wouldn't wait that long haha so we are doing it on 10 October this year.
Hey MrsBradtobe - Yeah i think i'm going to go with something like that.. i like the candy table idea... HA i don't think i would be able to handle it if the wedding was this year... HA HA i'm freaking out now and its over a year away still :)
As far as i know Cake will be the only dessert... although i think my lil brother said something about wanting to make something sweet for the reception (he's a chef) so that will be interesting.
I think the candy idea is what i'm going to do :)
we're having a small 40-person event, so i'm writing notes to each guest as a favor. i'l roll them up, add a strip of ribbon and seal with our monogram seal. it's a lot more work to write them, but i think it's something guests will truly cherish and appreciate.
it's like an advanced thank you note, reminiscing on their impact on my/our lives :)
While I see the point behind favours in terms of showing people you're grateful...most people just throw out kitchy favours and edible favours have no real point, because they're getting fed anyways.
You're paying to feed and entertain the people who come to your wedding. You should definately thank them all, and make an effort to do it individually. But favours are by NO MEANS NECESSARY.
As for people noticing...yes, some people will notice. A lot of the older people won't. And if people hate on your wedding just because you didn't give them a candy bar or a votive? That's THEIR problem.
http://www.apracticalwedding.com/2008/10/miss-manners-on-wedding-favors.html
http://www.apracticalwedding.com/2008/05/wedding-budget-wednesday-favor.html
That said...my fiance and I (well, mostly me) went through our own battle about whether or not to give favours. We ended up deciding that it was too much money for our tiny budget. And I don't really think people will mind. But, of course, if you would LIKE to give people favours, by all means GO FOR IT. Just don't feel like you HAVE to. =)
Okay well since you are having light fare and providing some alcohol, I think is reasonable not to go all out on favors. A candy bar is a great alternative. However, I don't think people who turn up a nose to no favors is rude, I've spent up to $400 alone to attend a wedding, a little token is always appreciated - candy included!
YAY it's settled.... CANDY BAR!!! *rubs hands together* Stay away from the Brides Candy BAR MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA *eats all the candy* lol!
Actually thinking about it now... i'm not sure how many people will actually ya know fill themselves a bag of candy.... i mean i know the kids will but i HIGHLY doubt any of the adults (not including my friends) will have candy... i'll have a think but... actually Nah i have an idea in my head... CANDY BAR!!! and it stays!! YAY!
Yayyyyy!!!!! YES, go with the candy bar! I personally am NOT a fan of favors. When I was a child, my parents went to loads of weddings, and mum would bring me home (I got to stay at Nana's) a piece of cake, and oh gosh a cocktail umbrella. Nobody did favors.
If we do favors, we will be doing a donation to a charity that is near & dear to us, or something like a candy bar. Seriously, when you think about it, if you have a party or dinner at your house, you feed your guests & provide drinks, you don't give them something to bring home.
I can't tell you how many times I've "forgotten" the flippin' bubbles or bell or whatever at a wedding....eeeh...I bring a small purse....that's not gonna fit...
Oh i'm having bubbles at the ceremony I LOVE BUBBLES!!! I found the best note to attach to the bubbles to.. something about rice and confetti and so blow bubbles into the crowd... or something along those lines. And bubbles in the photos! EHHEHEHEHE oh man i'm so excited about getting married! i love my man so much :) i get 'bubbles' inside just thinking about everything :)
YAY i'm in a happy mood now :)
IMG_1392.JPG (1181 KB, 35 downloads) 1 year old IMG_1390.JPG (1127.8 KB, 31 downloads) 1 year old IMG_1389.JPG (1053.3 KB, 30 downloads) 1 year old IMG_1386.JPG (1169 KB, 26 downloads) 1 year old IMG_1383.JPG (1174.1 KB, 28 downloads) 1 year old IMG_1388.JPG (1056.3 KB, 27 downloads) 1 year old
@Baby PebbleS.....the wedding I was at with the bubbles...they weren't on hand for the ceremony....they were at everyone's place setting at the reception....sigh....nobody used them the whole night....I brought them home for my cat to chase....lol...
I love confetti!....my mum & dad had loads of confetti thrown when they made their exit to leave for their honeymoon....the pics were fantastic!
I dont really like the idea of stuff being thrown all over myself and the Garden that we are having the wedding at you can't have rose petals or rice or anything like that thrown. So my flower girls has now turned into a bubble blowing fairy and yes she will be dressed like a lil fairy :)
If bubbles work for you, which it seems like that would be great, then yayyyy! That would be awesome! And how cute for your flower girl, she'll be thrilled! :)
New_Hair_pics_and_New_pics_020.JPG (54.3 KB, 23 downloads) 1 year old New_Hair_pics_and_New_pics_017.JPG (54.3 KB, 21 downloads) 1 year old New_Hair_pics_and_New_pics_016.JPG (59 KB, 20 downloads) 1 year old New_Hair_pics_and_New_pics_022.JPG (52.5 KB, 20 downloads) 1 year old
A candy bar is a great idea!
Honestly, I think favors are totally adorable, and I've been to a lot of weddings where I can tell that the bride and groom put so much thought (and sometimes time and effort) into making them. But... I dunno. Cute as they may be, usually they just get tossed after a couple of months or I don't really have a place to put them or whatever. That's why I think edible favors are the best bet! And I've never noticed if I've been to a wedding that *didn't* have favors - mostly I only notice if they do.
Our guests aren't getting any favors unless I come up with some crazy idea in the next month or two. We're feeding them and boozing them up, though, so hopefully they'll be too fat and happy to notice. 
Wait, I take back what I said about the favors always getting tossed! When my BF got married, she had a basket of lavendar sachets near the door that guests could grab on their way out. That thing made my car smell heavenly for months.
Veil.jpg (767.2 KB, 31 downloads) 1 year old Alfred_Angelo_1.jpg (40 KB, 44 downloads) 1 year old
Also agree that they are not necessary.For little kids' birthday parties, they are a consolation for not being the birthday child receiving all of the presents. But I think adults should be mature enough not to need one :-) Most adults, anyway.
If you still want to do it, you can set up a table near the door with the favors and a sign to take one.
Hi Baby Pebbles,
Although it seems your heart is set on the candy bar (great idea still!) you could also homemake cookies or treats and wrap them up in cool paper, ribbons, etc. I've seen people make jams & bread, cupcakes, cookies, salsa, etc.
I just thought of that since you said your party may not fill up on candy. :)
I'm giving out caramel apples, but I think favors are stupid. I've never received anything at a wedding that wasn't edible that I was pleased to have. It's usually a cheesy trinket that you feel obligated to keep because it's a gift, but not something you would've ever have purchased on your own.
Sorry to sound like such a miser.
I wanted to do a charitable donation becasue worse-case scenario the guests don't like the charity, but my fiance' feels strongly that people want something concrete. That's why we're doing food.
I, personally, would not feel slighted if I left a wedding without a favor.
If you want candy, we made truffles. My mom and I bought chocolate, butter and powder sugar. We made truffles for 200 people,and it only took about two hours- super easy! Cheap, too. They were a big hit- people were sneaking the leftovers.
I have mixed feelings about favors. So often guests don't like the favors and throw them out or don't even take them. That's a lot of money to throw away, especially on a very small budget.
I do like the idea of edible goodies because people usually appreciate them.
I don't like the idea of charitable donations as favors. That's not really a gift for your guests. If you are looking to say " Again, thanks for coming and sharing our day", a donation in your name with our money to a charity of our choice does not say that. Its for you to feel good about.
I also like pratical gifts that are NOT personalized. Yea, a fan for an outdoor wedding is a nice favor, but I don't want a fan with the bride's and groom's name and wedding date on it.
I hope this doesn't offend anyone, that's not my intent. I just wanted to give one more opinion to consider.
I am up and down on the favors thing. Edible is the way to go but now I fear after worrying and putting so much effort into it people will think they are dumb. My wedding is only 15 people, so I got all the girls at the wedding pink flip flops tied in green ribbon to go with my colors. But now I dont like they way they look and my FMIL was a little confused thinking she had to wear them to the actual ceremony. Then I am doing silver tin pails that are good in size I got at Target for $1 for each couple and filling them with sparklers, hershey kisses and Smiley cookies--The official cookie of Pittsburgh, they have a black and gold one for the Steelers, as my FI and I are die hard fans, so its adds our personality to it. But now I am not sure if people want all that or what they think. I normally dont care but as we get closer things are starting to bug me. I am also doing individualized Thank you cards. I think if I had to do it all over, I would have just done the cookies with the cards.
166737_161554_35941_598691939885_49400.jpg (40.3 KB, 35 downloads) 1 year old 166736_161553_552059_0466_JPG.jpg (19.9 KB, 33 downloads) 1 year old 166735_161552_DSC00666_JPG.jpg (33.5 KB, 31 downloads) 1 year old 
favors can double as decoration....i think i'm nuts b/c i'm doing crafty escort cards too..that's what friends are for..to help!
favors can double as decoration....i think i'm nuts b/c i'm doing crafty escort cards too..that's what friends are for..to help!
Is everyone getting bubbles? If so, there are your favors! Something cute and small and great to give to their kids afterwards to kee them entertained! Oh, and the candy bar is also perfect...just a small something to let them know you appreciated them making the trip to celebrate you!
I agree that the bubbles could be your favours. =) If you want to do some bowls of jellybeans too, then that's awesome, but I warn you that candy bars can get expensive, especially if you're planning on personalising them.
I was also debating whether or not to do favors. I asked my caterer and florist what they thought, since they have a lot more wedding experience than I do. BOTH of them said not to do it. That it is a waste of money and time and a lot of people don't even remember to take them. Put the money into the food, that is the number one thing guests remember.
Favors are one of the first things I recommend that couples cut... they're totally not necessary if you don't got the funds!
I'm right there with bambu.
I think we are having someting edible and homemade (because its cheaper lol) candy bar sound soooo good but i'm affraid too expensive, ohh well i dont even know how much would that cost lol
DSC01079.JPG (4672.4 KB, 25 downloads) 1 year old 
You do not need to have favors at all. We weren't planning on having them until I came up with the DIY "photobooth" idea. At that point, giving guests a very personalized memento of our wedding seemed like a nice idea. However, no one should ever feel obligated to give them.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 94 |
| ndreighton | 64 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 56 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| akp0702 | 42 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| MrsBlueSeptember | 41 |
| MrsPom | 37 |
| Beckster329 | 37 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MrsBlueSeptember | 1 |
| YouEnjoyMywedding | 1 |
| LibbyK | 1 |
| MsMindle | 1 |
| perfectlyplannedbyshari | 1 |
