Post # 1
This may seem somewhat odd given my last post re: gifts for bridal party, but part of me still isn’t sure if we should have them. Given the way that the setup will be, they probably won’t be standing up with us in the front of the ceremony, and will likely be sitting in the front row. They would still do the processional, and we woudl still take pics together and everything, but since they are not “standing up” for us, I do not know exactly what we need them for.
I guess my main thing is that the idea of them is nice. I like the idea of my friends being with me getting ready, probably being with me right before I go out, etc., and I like the idea of the processional. But I don’t know if they will feel miffed that they will have to buy a dress and shoes to mostly be sitting down. Admittedly, I am letting them wear a black cocktail dress of their own choosing, and then purple heels that they get to choose, so hopefully the heels are the only REAL out of the way expense (who doesn’t need a black cocktail dress???), and even that, they can choose how much they want to spend. They would all be coming to the wedding even if they weren’t IN it, so I don’t consider the travel stuff a real BM expense.
My friend who is the MoH asked me what a BM was for (she has never been in a wedding), and I didn’t have any good explanation, especially since they may not be standing up. (Although she did say getting to buy cute shoes and taking pictures was enough for her!!)
I mean, maybe it’s not a big of a deal to justify as I am making it, since all of my other BMs have been BMs before, and its just comes with the territory of being friends, but if people DO have meaningful justifications, etc. I am all ears!!
Post # 3
duh, they are supposed to confuse the evil spirits into leaving you and your groom alone! 🙂
Really, they are just there to lend extra support and help as needed.
Post # 4
To me, the point of a bridal party is the opportunity to bond with your friends and share this life-changing moment with your “second family” in a unique way. And all the help you’ll need in getting ready and pulling off the day. That’s what it means to me! It’s just a way to give special honor to people who have been there for you, and who will be there for you throughout the wedding
Post # 5
Thanks ladies. That’s true….I always forget its supposed to be an “honor” to be in someone’s wedding.
Do people have ways of incorporating them into the ceremony or anything?
Post # 6
We are just using our bridal party as an exuse to hang out and have a good time before we settle into married life, it seems like all our married friends kinda of changed a bit so we are trying to do as much with them as possible before the big day
Post # 7
I think they’re for helping you out, not just on the wedding day, but leading up to the big day. I have needed so much help and it’s been nice having my sister and BM there with me, either dress shopping, making things or planning. They are dear people in my life and it’s a gift to me that they are devoting so much time to me and my big day.
and yes, it is an honor 🙂
Post # 8
I only have a MOH because I didn’t see a point in bridesmaids. She has been more than enough help for me during this whole process and I haven’t had to deal with any other BM drama!
Post # 9
To me, the bridal party is symbolic of those closest to you. It’s not so you have people to boss around and make do things. It’s not just to stand there and look pretty and have even sides. It’s the symbolism. So if having a bridal party isn’t really symbolic to you, then I wouldn’t bother doing it, but if it is, then where they are during the ceremony shouldn’t really matter in my opinion.
Hope this helps!
Post # 10
To me, the point of having bridesmaids is to honor the important women in your life by having them stand by your side (or walk down the aisle and then sit in a place of honor, as the case may be) as you take a major life step. They are your friends, not your wedding planners, therapists, or unpaid labor force.
Post # 11
Those are all good points. I definitely love my friends, and want to spend time with them helping to get ready and laughing and I know we will have a good time. I guess I forget that being a BM is supposed to be an “honor” for my ladies since we’ve all done it a few times, and I know people get mostly irritated when they have to buy a dress/shoes, etc. (I know one of my girls already — kind of jokingly, kind of not — said she wouldn’t be in it if she had to buy a dress! She was okay with the black cocktail dress thing though.)
I think I will just make sure that I let them know how much I care about them and make it more about them sharing in the day with us and knowing that they are the most important friends in our lives, rather than just making pretty pictures.
I think I will try to think of ways to incorporate them into the ceremony though as well. At least one will be doing a reading, and my mom is officiating (and his mom doing another reading), so we are trying to make it very personal and representing things about us, so if we do find a way to work them in there, that would be great, and juts reinforce how important they are to us.