- Macie M. Bain
- 6 years ago
Would you find me odd if I told you one of the moments I look forward to is when my bride has her meltdown a month before her wedding? Whether I just turned you off or not…keep reading.
Weddings have transformed into huge money makers for vendors and bank breakers for couples. Reality shows have placed a crazy amount of pressure on those that are engaged to have the most blinged out, over the top, Kardashian-like experience.
It’s not necessary and I don’t push for it. I think this is what my couples enjoy about me most.
Having a wedding is important, no doubt. It’s your chance to profess to the world your undying love and commitment for your beau. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I encourage you to keep that thought in your head at all times. If you can keep that as your focus, you’ll have smooth sailing from the “Yes” to “I do.”
…if only it were that easy, right?
Your parents have a vision for your wedding in mind. You want to wow your friends. You have to stay true to your religious upbringing. You want to play dress up.
All of that comes secondary to one thing: Your marriage. (This is what I enjoy telling my brides.)
As symbolic as the heart is, it doesn’t get a direct benefit from crystal chandeliers, an 8-piece band, or open bar. Your heart does get a direct benefit from staring into the eyes of your hubby to be and realizing that he loves you so much that he’s ready to make a life-long promise to you. To prove it, he’s going to say it in front of anyone and everyone you know…and then they’ll know it, too.
That’s what your wedding is for. Period. Everything else is just for fun…and it should be just that…fun!
So don’t panic about peonies being out of season for the wedding date you chose. Don’t cry over not having the most elaborate table scheme. Don’t go broke over a dress you will wear once. Don’t yell at anyone for not carrying the same vision and hustle that you have in mind.
Relax…and remember why you’re planning this shindig in the first place. It’s mainly an enhancement to set the mood. Whether your wedding is on an Estate in front of 300 guests or on warm sand in front of 6 guests…your hearts speaking to each other is what everyone really wants to see. So let them be the center of attention.
Some brides may not like me for this…but the guys tend to be on the right track with wanting to keep it simple. They know what they’re there for and want to see the end result as soon as possible. (In most cases…I have seen it completely opposite, too: Bride doesn’t want a big show, groom totally does!) So, to cut down on some of the pressure, listen to what he has to say too, and again, find a compromise. He doesn’t want to start the marriage off broke, but he does want you to be happy. Find a happy medium…and don’t feel guilty about it.
I’ve been on wedding boards and have seen posts from brides beating themselves up about not having a wedding that meets everyone else’s standards. Listen to me when I tell you…no one is even tripping out on that. Majority of the time everyone is thinking, “Finally! It’s about time!”
Those who really love you won’t even see the “disaster” that you see. They’ll be too busy smiling and watching you and hubby enjoying yourselves. Think about it…think of the weddings you went to in the past…how much of it did you stand around with your eyes on the couple, smiling at them with nothing else on the brain but how happy they look? Your guests are going to feel the same way about you…because you are who they came for.
Happy guests can turn any event into a party. Trust me.
One of the best weddings I’ve been to (as a guest) was in Las Vegas at the Graceland Chapel. My friends had been together for 15 years before saying “I do.” 20-30 of us crammed into that little chapel and squeezed as close as we could on the pews. We had all been friends for 10 years or more, so being that close together was not a problem! When our friends said their vows all the girls cried, a few guys shed tears, and others cheered. When the ceremony was over, we spilled into the back yard and squeezed together again for a group photo. When that was done, we drove a few blocks down and danced the night away in a small bar. There was no dinner, no favors, and no wedding cake. What there was was our most cherished friends together forever…a day we had all waited on for many years. If they are promised together forever, that means all of us have each other forever, too. That’s the best feeling.
It’s all about the heart.
<3 Macie Bain