Post # 1
I know this is “proper etiquette” but who makes these rules? If I am registering at certain stores,why can’t I put where at? His friends live in Safford and there is ONLY a Walmart and Home Depot, which I am not sure we are even registering as we have been together for 8 yrs this Sept. We bought all new stuff recently with tax money and now moving into a new apt in 2 wks. So we are set. Everyone knows that we are not registering so FI and I agreed not to. His theory is no one will bring anything, which I am fine with and cannot ask them to. But most of the family is giving $$ and thats usually our gifts for the hoildays. My point is why is it not ok to put where you register on your invites??
ETA or wherever you put the info?? I know now not on the invites:)
Post # 3
It looks like you’re asking for gifts.
Come to our wedding. . oh, and here’s where we’re registered so you can buy us something.
But you’re free to do whatever you like.
The Etiquette Police make these rules. Their office is in DC right next to The Fashion Police
Post # 4
@cherryblossomlove: Because it’s like you’re asking for gifts, which is seen as rude.
Post # 5
Wedding gifts are optional, so putting registries on your invites is indicating that you expect your guests to bring one.
This is precisely why it’s alright to put registries on shower invites – the entire point is to “shower” the bride with gifts for her new life.
Post # 6
Basically it looks like you’re telling people to bring gifts to come to the wedding. It’s outdated, and not really practical for all the reasons (and more) that you listed. But, that’s the short answer to your question.
And @GroovyHippieChick: I live in DC — the etiquette police most certainly don’t live here anymore! I think they relocated to the Deep South, or they got disbanded at some point… 🙂
Post # 7
Why don’t you add an insert with a wedding website that has links to the registerys? It’s the best way to let people know that you’re registered without shoving it in their face… Personally I prefer to have an insert saying “we’re registered at…” because it makes it easy for me to find a gift, and really what Idiot shows up to a wedding without a present anyways…?!
Post # 8
@abbie017: oh! Good point. They went underground.
Post # 9
FWIW – we registered and I never printed the info anywhere – not on the wedding invitations, and my shower hostess did not put it on the shower invites. I didn’t even have a wedding website. We received almost everything off our registry at the shower and wedding. It was not difficult for people to search online or ask me or my mother if/where we registered.
To put the info on the invite is like saying “Come with one of these gifts.” A shower is for presents, so the info is just helpful, it is “Come with gift; here’s what they really want if you want to make it easy.”
Post # 10
I think its a stupid rule too. It’s not like they have to buy u a gift I’d they don’t want to so why not make it easier for the ppl who do want to get you one. I also don’t like how formal invitations have to be alot of the rules are stuffy and up tight.
Post # 11
I’m not much into stuffy etiquette rules. And where I live, or where I grew up most formal invites do include registry information. I had no clue this was a no-no until I came here! So when putting together my information I included it. Like a PP said, it makes it easier for people who want to buy a gift. (I am also not a super formal person).
Post # 12
From a personal standpoint, I understand the logic behind this etiquette and embrace it heavily. Not for the sake of following old-fashioned rules and getting on a soapbox, but because when I receive registry information included with wedding invitations, it is implied that
1) the couple is obviously expecting – if not demanding – a gift from me, and
2) a gift is more important to the couple than my presence.
Yes, there are tons of archaic and seemingly silly traditions/rules, but this particular one is firmly rooted in politeness and tact – so I’ll enforce it till the day I die.
Post # 13
People here don’t know or follow ettiquette so they would not care and I am not that big into ettiqutte anyway (I do what feels right and if it feels wrong or weird or just seems “tacky” then I don’t.) Ettiquette is just following your gut, not any hard fast or set rules. I don’t think including registry info in invitations is wrong. My bm is including them in the shower invites.
Post # 14
@JessicaPop: Thats exactly what I meant:)
Post # 16
So you put them on the shower info?