Post # 1
I posted a while back about a friend being very flaky. She will make plans with me and then cancel them, not get back to me for hours at a time, yet seem very faithful to all her other friends but putting me on the backburner. She also happens to be my bridesmaid. When I first asked her we weren’t very close but my FI was good friends with her and I wanted to get to know her better, and she was in support of or relationship, thus leading me to ask her to stand up with me.
About a month ago or so I texted her and told her that I really wanted an article of clothing back from her and wondered what time would work for her to pick it up. She promised to drop it off sometime in the next week days. She never did but instead called me a few days later to tell me that she was sorry for being flaky (she said those exact words herself) and updated me on everything that was going on in her life
She told me that due to a lot of medical bills they couldn’t pay they were losing their apartment and would have to move in with family. A bunch of other stuff was going on and I apologized profusely for all those things, knowing that she was going through a very rough time. She said, like she has a million times in the past, that we should get together after all this blows over, but nothing has come of it. I’m not really asking about whether or not to have her stand up in the wedding, or how to get my clothing back, however I’m trying to figure out if I should stop worrying about trying to be her friend and just let things drop unless she gets ahold of me? The thing is that my FI still considers her a good friend even though they never hang out. She never calls him. Nothing.
Maybe I just don’t know exactly how to handle this whole awkward situation.
Post # 3
Wow, this sounds like quite the situation.
This story resonates with me (as right now I am going through some very uncomforable health issues) and, if it is as bad as your friend has said I think you just need to be there for her. Not pester her or anything, but definitely let her know that you are around. Maybe just send her a random text saying you hope she is doing ok, or ask her if she wants to get a cup of coffee or something.
In other words, I think she would appreciate some gentle reminders that you are still there (the worst thing that could happen is if she feels isolated due to all of this). Of course this is a personal suggestion, but that is what I would want if I were your friend. She will come around when she feels up to it.
Hope this helps!
Post # 4
I myself am terrible at remembering to do things with people, and unless it’s aspur of the moment dinner, or a mutual friend drops by from out of town, I’m usually so beat by the end of the day, I’m fine just hanging out at home, and leaving my friends, most of whom have SOs to spend time with them. That said, I’d see nothing wrong with sending a quick text once a week with a joke or something small to make her smile, as i sounds like she’s got a lot on her mind, and also, like me, she might be worried inviting YOU to do something would seem A) invasive knowing you’re planning a wedding, or B) worried you really don’t know her/like her well enough to want to do anything with her.
Just message her either online or texting now and then, letting her know when you’re doing things you wouldn’t mind her joining in – she might start to feel comfortable enough to reciprocate (and return your cothes 😛 )
Post # 5
i totally agree with @wbninja: and @Isilme. just send her a text every week or so to show your support.