(Closed) What is the proper etiquette?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I still send an invite and risk being over-capacity?
    Yes : (18 votes)
    62 %
    No : (11 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 3
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I am sending invites to people who I know won’t be coming because if I didn’t I know I would hear about it for the rest of my life. I have 15 aunts/uncles and about 50 cousins (and a ton more second cousins/cousins kids,wives,etc) and I most certainly do not want all of them there (which is why I am having the wedding 14 hours away), I know the majority will not travel and I have been told they won’t but I am sending an invite. If they do RSVP yes I don’t know what I’ll do but I’m 99.9 percent sure they wont so I don’t really have to worry.

    That being said, I know my family would feel personally offended if they didn’t get an invite (but thats them) there are some people I want to invite but don’t have room for so they won’t be getting an invite, but I also know they won’t hold it over my head for forever.

    Post # 4
    2237 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    They’re your Dad’s relatives and he’s saying don’t do it – I would trust his judgement on the matter!

    Post # 5
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    MandaMack makes a very good point ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m inviting people b/c my dad told me too, if he said not to I wouldn’t ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 6
    222 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    If your dad said don’t worry about. Don’t worry about it. If someone ask you let them know the situation. I think people will be understanding.

    Post # 7
    158 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Ettiquite wise you should send them an invitation. Things can change from the time from the Save-The-Date Cards are sent out to the time invitations. Now of course your father should know his family best….however ive noticedthroughout wedding plans that there are things that women get upset/feel offended by that guys sometimes juts dont care about. The bottom line is if you intend for someone to coe then they should receiev an invitation and if you send out an invite, you should really assume they will attend…even if they have told you otherwise(exceptions, people who you KNOW cant travel, sickly relatives etc.)


    Have you considered just sending annpouncements to those who are not invited? that way they wont feel so left out and you wont have all these invitaitos to worry about


    Post # 8
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Proper etiquette implies that if you send a save the date, you must also send an invite since the save the date is also a form of invite and it is rude to tell someone they are not invited after they have received one. Even though save the dates are too new of a concept to hit the etiquette books, the same rules of invitations apply.

    Always assume that 100% of your guestlist will be attending. Many brides have been surprised when this happened to them, even though they were told to only expect 2/3 attendance. If you don’t want someone there and you can’t imagine the day without them, don’t invite them. It is ok to send people announcements instead (which used to be quite common during your grandparents’ era but no one does anymore because they don’t know what they are for) if they won’t be receiving an invite, and you don’t have to invite every single person you’ve ever known or random strangers either.

    Post # 10
    16217 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I get where your dad is coming from, but I say invite anyway. They’ll likely say “no” still and not contribute to over-capacity.

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