What is the "right time" for you when you had your first child?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Was it/will it be the right time for you for your first child?
    Yes, we were prepared and ready for our first child. We planned it out. : (16 votes)
    53 %
    Yes, we were prepared and ready for our first child, even though he/she was unplanned. : (3 votes)
    10 %
    No, were very unprepared for our first child, even though we planned it. : (3 votes)
    10 %
    No, we were very unprepared for our first child (unplanned) : (3 votes)
    10 %
    It will never be the "right time" because we don't want children! : (5 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    8425 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We’ll be having our first babies (twins!) when I’m 34.  I actually never even wanted kids, but it turned out to be a happy surprise.  My “requirements” for having children were to own a house, have $0 student/car loans, good health insurance, married, at least 6 months emergency savings, and the ability to be a SAHM.  I honestly never thought I’d have everything in place, but when I found out I was pregnant and re-evaluated things, I was pleasantly surprised at how “prepared” we were.  My husband and I have traveled all over, and we both grew up near major cities, so there wasn’t a baby bucket list we had.  I think each couple just has to decide when they’re “ready” and go for it.

    Post # 3
    Member
    613 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Everyones “right” time is different, and the reasons as to why is their right time will differ as well. Our right time is between 23-25. We will have a home, little to no debt and still fairly young. Our plan has always been to have our first child by 25, we want 2 in total and I don’t want to be older than 29/30.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1689 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We have been together over 10 years too and when we decided to start trying we were married exactly a year. We are both 27, turning 28 this summer. Our baby is due in May.  In an ideal world, we’d have tons of money and be able to travel before babies, but that just wasn’t in the cards for us. We still have about 3-5 years left of paying off student loans. In June we bought our first home and started trying in August. Originally it was supposed to be July but I chickened out and stayed on birth control an extra month. It is scary! That moment though when you look at that pregnancy test is worth it. As terrified as I still was, I was even more excited. I get more and more excited with each passing day, and a little less terrified lol. So I guess the answer to your question is yes , we were ready. 

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    10888 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    People have said to me it’s never the right time but you manage. I’ve just gone with what my body and heart are telling me.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    bmo88:  Don’t worry about age! Get your trips done and pay off your loans.  30 is still young.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    bmo88:  My parents were both in their 40s when they had me (and I’m an only). Mom says it keeps her young. She had a career first and waited to get married. I’ll be 37 and FI will be 43 when we get married and start TTC.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    bmo88:  My FI and I are in agreeance that we want to be in our own home and financially stable before trying. We don’t want our children to go without and we would like to send them to private school (as we both attended) so we need to make sure we set ourselves up first (hellooooo crazy school fees!)

    Luckily we are both in good fields of work that will allow us to earn decent money. I’d like to be able to be a SAHM for at least a little while (I think the final decision on that will come later on, i’m not sure if i’ll always want to be at home or whether i’ll feel like I need to get back to work for my own sanity! haha)

    We’ve discussed trying in the next 3-5 years, we’ll both be around late 20’s – early 30’s by then. I also agree there’s no ‘perfect’ time, I think as long as you can support your child (emotionally, financially etc) you can make it work. I know parents who were super young when they had children and they are MUCH better parents than others I know who are in their late 30’s! Everyone is different 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    bmo88:  I just saw your comment about older parents and wanted to add my two cents! My mum was very young when she had me, but she and my step dad have gone on to have two children in their late 30’s – early 40’s and they are the most incredible parents.

    It also means they’re really well established and can provide my brothers with an amazing education, a beautiful home, great holidays and the likes. Mums also a SAHM now and is able to spend so much quality time with them its so great to see. So she’s done both, she’s been an incredible young mum and an amazing older mum too (she’s early 40’s which I don’t really consider being older as its so common now but in comparison to when I was young I guess it is!)

    Age is just a number 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I really don’t think age should matter when deciding if you’re ready. If you’re ready now, why do you need to be 30 before having a child? I personally can not imagine me waiting until 25 to have a child but it has less to do with age. We’re ready, it’ll be planned, own a house, have degrees, jobs. etc and ideally I will be 23, possbily 22. Both our parents were in their early 20s when they had their children (all planned) and own nice houses, sent all children to private schools, etc. It’s more a mature of being personally ready than being a certain age. 

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