Post # 1
Lately, it seems all I hear about is all the things that men cannot seem to do. I was just reading another thread about men and their inability to do laundry. I remember reading a thread yesterday about a man who could not remember to bring the Tupperware that his lunch was put in back into the house to be washed. Both of these threads were filled with posts of other women who said that they could commiserate on similar shortfalls of their significant others. My friend was complaining about her husband’s inability to cook a decent meal the other day.
All of these things together make me VERY thankful that I have a husband who can clean, do laundry and cook for himself, like a fully functioning adult. Obviously though this is a rare occurrence since we see over and over that so many men aren’t able to cook, clean, do laundry, or generally take care of themselves. Are parents of boys just not teaching them this stuff? This has me wondering are men really that incompetent at these things or do they just pretend to be in order to get us to do what they would prefer not do?
I suppose I just look at these things as basic life skills that everyone should have.
Post # 4
@MrsFuzzyFace: I know for sure my dad is not incompetent… but he is careless. He’s broken enough dishes now where my mom doesn’t let him wash dishes. He’s also destroyed enough things in the dryer where he’s also banned from laundry. At times I seriously wonder if he’s actually did those things on purpose to avoid doing chores at my parents’ house.
Post # 5
I think my idea of competent and FI’s idea is two TOTALLY different things. To me, a nice dinner is some grilled tofu chicken, some garden veggies with a garlic butter sauce, a fruit of some kind, and some chocolate mouse. (This is what’s for dinner today!)
FI will “cook dinner” and we’ll have pizza, or if I’m lucky-pre made meals from fresh and easy!
I’ll seperate the laundry, use fabric softener, use woolite with the darks and bleach with the whiles. Dryer sheets at the end and folded all nice
FI will buy tide cold water and EVERYTHING is together >.<
FI with either insist on buying his lunch EVERY DAY or throwing out his gladware (It SAYS disposable MissFireFlower. That means it’s ok for me to toss it)
Post # 6
When my mother met my father, he wasn’t able to boil water, or grocery shop (without spending a fortune), he actually knows how to cook some things, now. He was raised in an extremely traditional household. Dad comes home, the ladies move to the kitchen. The boys didn’t learn how to cook, they worked in the fields, but that was the end of their responsibility outside of school.
My brother, on the other hand, loves to cook. There are men out there who were raised as… for lack of a better term… “boys.” They weren’t required to learn “girl” things, such as cooking, laundry, cleaning. They usually mowed the lawns, or did physical labor like taking out the trash.
On the other hand, there are a number of women, now, who also have no bloody clue what to do in the kitchen, or the laundry room, or wherever.
Post # 7
@MrsFuzzyFace: a lot of cultures are into gender roles and dont teach boy to take care of themselves. the women they choose enable this behavior
Post # 8
maybe our expectations are just too high… lol oh man. i’m still in the phase where these things are cute and/or silly and/or whatever.
Post # 9
Things are pretty much the opposite in our house! My fiance cooks and cleans like a champion (he can’t do laundry though), and I’m the one that does the “manly” jobs around the house. I grew up on a farm with a dad who was a big of a McGyver – he could fix anything, so if anything’s broken around the house or the car’s not working, I’m usually the one doing that.
I still do my share of the cleaning though, especially because I’m only working part-time at the moment
Post # 10
@MrsFuzzyFace: This has me wondering are men really that incompetent at these things or do they just pretend to be in order to get us to do what they would prefer not do?
The majority of the men that I know and socialize with, do not behave in this manner. Most of them not only cook but they are damn good cooks. Alot of them can not tolerate an unclean home and have no problem picking up after themselves. So when I read threads about men who can’t do basic laundry it boggles my mind. My FH completely out does me when it comes to household chores. And he’s an amazing cook. Sure,I think some weren’t “taught” but also think many are just plain old lazy. And they play dumb in the hopes that their partners will pick up the slack.
But on the other hand I’ve learned that many chicks aren’t necessarily the cleanest ones either. There are quite of few sloopy ass chics that lack proper home training as well.
Post # 11
They’re just there to make our men look good
But seriously, everyone (man or woman) is not very skillful at something.
I’m lucky in that my FI is very good with domestic chores, and in fact, he usually does the laundry these days. However, he tends not to fold it. He does sometimes, but mostly he’ll put it off…and forget. He’ll unload the fresh clean laundry in baskets and just leave them that way and they’ll eventually wrinkle, of course.
Therefore, I usually fold the laundry after he does it, and put it away. This works out well because this is my time to discover if anything needs mending, which is something only I know how to do. He never tells me when something of his has torn or worn out so it’s up to me to spot the poor thing in the laundry. Sometimes it’s beyond repair and I tell him its life is over and chuck the thing.
Of course if we both don’t feel up to it, sometimes we get wrinkled clothes. But at least they’re clean!
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
My guy is a brilliant cook and also cleans the kitchen afterward – YES! But he is a total space cadet in some ways, and so things like molding tupperware, eternally-roll-less toilet paper holders, and mud tracked everywhere are a common occurence in our house. Love him anyway 🙂
Post # 13
@Chaoslight: That is probably true. I guess to me, most of these things are not Boy things or girl things, they are people things. We have two girls who will be delivered to adulthood knowing how to cook, clean, do laundry, mow grass, start a fire, check engine oil, and change a tire. These are people skills that we would teach a boy too. I always think that if you wear clothes and eat food you should know how to do laundry and cook.
Post # 14
Most of my guy friends lived in an all-male residence that provided their food, and even vacuumed their rooms and changed their sheets weekly. Oh boy, when they all moved out of there and into a house together, utter chaos.
My FI is definitely competent when it comes to housework. Maybe not up to my high standards, but definitely better than most. I’m a bit of a perfectionist though.
Post # 15
*shrug* I don’t cook, and I’m a girl. I can cook to save my life, if it comes down to it, but I just have no interest in it. Am I not a real girl now? I clean and do laundry for the two of us, and DH is the head of the kitchen. I wouldn’t go so far as to generalize that most men are incompetent and men like my DH are rare gems. That’s just a narrow viewpoint.
Post # 16
My husband is completely competent to take care of himself, but not to the level I want to live at (i.e. I prefer dirty dishes cleaned nightly, bed linens washed weekly, vegetables at every meal, etc). On the other hand, I’m not completely technologically competent, but my husband teaches me what I ask to learn about. I think we compliment each other’s weaknesses/strengths.
I think sometimes as a gender, we like to pat ourselves on the back that about what our stereotypical strengths. I don’t think women are anymore competent than men, it is just that we are competent about different things.