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Weddingbee boards
free speech. voicing opinions.
i am all about honesty.
HOWEVER.
what is with the flood of "don't like about WB" or "don't like these bees" complaint threads that have been popping up lately?
personally, i came to the 'bee by google search accident, and the reason i've STAYED is because of the positive feedback and plethora of wedding/life knowledge that i've found while perusing these boards.
i understand that everyone has their opinions, esp that WB is too "nice" sometimes, believe me i've had my moments too. but with time i've realized that this forum is a place where people come to vent, learn more, get advice, get ideas, etc.
i understand it's not always going to be happy moments and agreeing moments.... but what are the points of these "complaint" threads?
what does it accomplish? it's beyond the "no snarky" rule... what's the point of a post like that? what exactly do you get out of it?
where's the love, hive?
Yeah, I've kind of started to be self conscious about what I post since those threads. I have to be careful not to be too "nice" or too "mean/honest." I've always tried to give good feedback and give the original poster the benefit of the doubt on various threads. I agree, negativity has stepped up a notch.
I agree as well, I think there are tons of great and postive people on here and I have already gotten some awesome ideas from boards and blogs. I know that I am just a pretty positive person in general but I always get upset to see people to have nothing better to do than complain about other people's postings... Thats just me though!
lol after the last few weeks, i was waiting for someone to say something! i've been a longtime lurker and only now that i'm engaged have i started posting. it seems that there are snark cycles though, and we just happen to be in one. hopefully we can get back to more actual wedding-related posts soon! :D
Thank you so much. I just commented the same type of thing on the "what drives you bananas" thread earlier today. I came to the hive as a random search last year and fell in love with all the idea sharing, help, and friendliness and I feel like it has changed a lot, especially in the last month. I don't want to see this wonderful site turn into a negative place because it was such a help in planning my wedding, and has been helpful in newlywed issues thus far. All this negative calling out just makes people nervous and hesitant to post anything. I love everything about Weddingbee, except the negativity.
I think the knottie brides are planning an attack on us free-lovers over here!
They are REALLY snarky there.
I haven't noticed much of it though! I did see a "things on WB that drive you nuts" thread, but that's not bad! We all get frustrated sometimes!
I totally agree! I was wondering about this earlier today actually. I was thinking wow, and this is exactly why I don't like the knot boards. I mean yeah I've given some advice that could be intrepreted as harsh, but never actually insulted another person.
Good Point!
I admit, I posted on that thread about drives me crazy about WB. I always try and be diplomatic about what I say though and I try never to put anyone down. I'm the person at work and in my circle of friends who's "too optimistic" and always looks at the bright side of things. But if I feel like I need to say something here, you bet your bottom I will!
I have to admit that I took part in the "What drives you bananas" thread but honestly, it was because of the negativity that I did that, if that makes any sense at all. I really like this site, even though I'm not even close to getting engaged yet (found the site by looking things up for weddings I've been involved with) and the negativity and way that some people respond to those reaching out and just wanting to know that SOMEONE understands is killing me. I'm sure I've been guilty of not responding in the nicest way but I really, truly do try my best to not even comment on threads where I can't be nice and supportive.
I think some people (ie. me) come to these boards for entertainment and fun. I think those posts have been funny and I've enjoyed them. I don't think they are too harsh or "snarky". If you see posts like that just skip over them so you don't get upset. You may be one that comes here for a safe haven, but not all of us do, some don't mind what they see as a little harmless fun.
I just have to also say, that since my time here on weddingbee, a lot of snarky stuff does go in cycles. There's also crazy posts sometimes where funny, made up drama happens--quite entertaining but not really wedding related ;) This is just another time and it'll pass, usually with some of those leaving WB.
EDIT: Sorry, I repeated what another poster said above me :/
This is my take on it....there will be a lot less "snarky" posts if people refrain from commenting on them. If you see a post that you think is in poor taste..DON'T COMMENT and flag it for the moderators. I honestly think most of the problems will be minimized if not outright solved if more posters would do this. There is nothing to be gained when one poster points out that something is snarky...then 5 million other posters pile on and say the same thing. It's just going to make that thread stay on the main page longer.
@missjyc: ok, so I was quick to voice my dislike for the bee hating post, and I did that for my own reasons (which I think are obvious with my comments on that thread) but THIS thread is pretty counter-productive...being negative about the negativity that you're seeing is still BEING NEGATIVE! Just something to think about...
In other words, I don't think this is the solution.
i don't expect rainbows and butterflies every day, i guess my confusion is that being that this is a forum centered around wedding planning and relationships... i don't see the point of this entire forum having anything to do with negativity and drama being stirred between physical strangers tied together by an internet link.
i guess my orig post was asking why there is such an atmosphere of negativity lately lurking around our boards. it's a first since i've been here. maybe i've just been blind to the other cycles of them that have passed by.
@elliestan: LOL @ "snark cycles". I definitely agree. Let's keep the happy vibes flowing, bees!
@MandaMack: i would normally agree, but this could also be a wakeup call for some Bees to drop some of the bitchitude. whenever there's a post i've got an eyeroll and "oh lawdy" for, i'm just going to scroll on past.
@JamaicaBride: Yeah, I'm guilty of commenting than just ignoring. I'm going to keep that in mind.
Maybe 'Aunt Irma' is in town... lol.
outside insurrection?
Or just the cyclical life of an online forum?
I agree JamaicaBride, well put.
No one will ever be able to win in the hive. We are either to nice or too snarky depending on who you talk to. Even though we tend to go through "cycles" the actual posts and responses never really change, it is the hive's attitude that does.
I'm guilty, too. I should have ignored the "negative" thread. Oops. I don't get why all the negativity, either! Shouldn't this be a happy place? I know I have enough stress and whatnot in my life and this is supposed to be a fun and supportive environment!
why can't it just be sunshine and gummy bears? :)
eh, I don't care either way. This is a board about weddings but people bring up all sorts of random topics, why not some negatives ones too? If you don't like it, don't read it. I didn't read or comment on any of the banana's bored but even if I had I think I'd have the same sentiment.
I honestly think that it is because a lot of those posts received hundreds of comments! People keep creating them because clearly a bunch of people like commenting on them and maybe they want to post something that will get tons of comments too. I admit I am also surprised at how many comments they get but if I am not interested/don't like a topic or where a thread is going, I just don't comment!
@JamaicaBride: I agree. I thinking ignoring posters that have negative attention seeking posts will cut down on some of the snark.
I like positive and happy posts because I feel that if I can make at least one person smile or happy, then I have had a great day. So when I post I try to look for the positive, and if there isn't any then I try to give advice that will lead to something positive (or say nothing at all).
Lets turn this into a positive thread! I love WB because its a great community and many stay involved well beyond their weddings (even if in other blogs etc). As some people mentioned earlier today, Mrs. Quiche just designed a living room for Mrs. Avocado. Thats awesome!!!
I honestly think it has a lot to do with the way people react to things. Sometimes people react very poorly to things and take things to heart. Misinterpretation is a killer. I'd say misinterpretation is even more of a culprit than just plain being mean. All it takes is one person to interpret something the wrong way, or become enraged over "nothing', and before you know it, a real-life version of that game "telephone" has erupted and it's complete mayhem.
@MandaMack: if you're going to get really into the nitty-gritty here, you aren't helping by commenting and bumping it up either.
100% AGREED. This is exactly why I posted on another thread.I just dont understand calling out negativity - I came to the bee for a support community and the more negativity there is the less I want to come..and thats sad!!
@JamaicaBride: if I knew how to flag things I might do so...but I dont know how! I wouldnt flag things a lot in general. To be honest I probably should not have bumped the other post - which is why I have since stopped commenting now.... but I posted because I had a horrible day and I guess my frustrations with life got the best of me
@caszos: I love weddingbee because of all the inspiration I got here during my wedding planning. I also love it to try to help other brides who have questions, need advice, need to find something or just need inspiration in general!
This is the funny part about weddingbee. People start posting threads that upset other people. People start bitching at each other and then someone starts a thread about how weddingbee has changed. This happens every couple of months without fail.
@PitBulLover: it is the little button next to the "reply" button at the bottom of each persons response
@PitBulLover: You select the "Flag" link next to the (reply) link. Type in why it's being flagged (nudity, snarkiness, attack). Whoops, another poster beat me to it!
@Miss Bubbles: Right, and I'm not bothered by the so-called negativity at all, so I don't care if the post got bumped up. I had a completely different problem with the bee hating post than just generalized negativity.
@babyboo: and@beekiss2: Thanks! I dont think I ever noticed that! But i dont really want to flag anything so hopefully I wont use this :-)
@mncrk09 - totally agree, i think thats why I'm just kind "eh" about it all...
@mncrk09: Agreed.
@PitBulLover: I've accidentally clicked the flag button before when selecting "reply" but atleast it prompts me why before it could go through.
I agree with JamaicaBride. If you dont like the negativity, why start your own thread about it? All you are doing is perpetuating the drama.
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