Post # 1
Fiance just sent me this email regarding my cousin’s rehearsal dinner tomorrow night that has been on the calendar for months:
“I’ve got a buyer for some of my old computer parts. He’s in <city> so I told him I could meet him somewhere tomorrow night while you’re doing your rehearsal. Then I can return and we can do to dinner.”
Honestly, how did he think this was going to be ok? It’s like he’s saying screw you, the bride, and the groom; all I care about is the free dinner and making some money.
Post # 3
If you Fiance isn’t in the wedding (it sounds like only you are) then honestly, there is no reason for him to be at the rehearsal.
I expected that the spouses/SOs of my bridal party would just meet us for dinner instead of sitting through the rehearsal that they have no part of.
My church didn’t want people to just come to the rehearsal that weren’t a part of it because that typically led to distractions and made everything take longer.
Post # 4
Is there a reason he has to be at the rehearsal? (Is he in the wedding?)
If he’s not in the wedding, I understand why he wouldn’t want to sit around and watch the rehearsal.
Is he still going to make it back for the dinner? If so, it’s probably fine.
Post # 5
This. I didn’t attend the actual rehearsal at a recent wedding my Darling Husband was in. There’s no need for spouses to be there and can actually make it more chaotic.
Post # 6
A couple of things..
1) It is family and I don’t want the questions about where he is. Seriously, he can give up an hour of time to support me and my family. It would be different if it was just a friend.
2) It would be the first time he would see the church where we’re getting married at. He knows that I am excited to show the church off to him.
3) I’ve had to sit through countless rehearsals for him. Never once was I given the option not to attend.
4) Where he is “selling” the computer parts and where the rehearsal dinner is, is 15-20 minutes away from each other. Not super close. I doubt he would make it on time for dinner.
Post # 7
I almost HOPE that the bridal party doesn’t bring all their significant others to the rehearsal hah. They’re all clearly invited to the dinner, but I don’t want to have to wrangle more people!
EDIT: Seeing your second part about the church, I get that. I would also want my Fiance to see it. But I wouldn’t let this bother you. And make sure never to go to one of the rehearsals the next time this comes up and he’s in a wedding party hah!
Post # 8
I guess I’m in the minority here. I would almost equate this to not attending the actual wedding ceremony and only attending the reception. I think its rude to just attend the party with food and boozes and not attend the actual marriage event.
Post # 9
I don’t see this situation as worthy of stress/anger/issues or that he is saying “screw you” to the wedding party.
I imagine his perception of the whole thing is quite different and thus doesn’t precisely understand/anticipate how his not being there would bother you. I don’t get the impression of any purposefully ill behavior on his behalf; is there a way you can lovingly discuss the topic with your man?
Post # 10
@HEB:I agree. It just would have been nice if he asked about it, rather than just assuming or telling me what was going on. He is going to sell the parts today instead.
I was just a little irked because I’ve sat through soo many things for him without ever trying to get out of it. We were at a wedding a few weeks ago where the first dance wasn’t till 10:30; the bride and groom made everyone wait after dinner (which was served at 6:30) while they took pictures with every person in their entire extended family. It was awful. I wonder how he would have felt if I would have just said, “hey, I’ll going to watch tv now in the room, I will meet up with you later to dance and drink.”
Post # 11
i can see why this would bug you. it’s family, you’re excited (and have expressed this to him) to show him the church you guys will be married at soon.
yea, he’s being selfish. i’d be annoyed.