What is wrong with people these days?!

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 4
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m sorry he didn’t tell you earlier.

She is obviously behaving completely inappropriately, but it doesn’t sound like your husband is encouraging her. Then again, he has not done a good job of DIScouraging her.

I would make sure he knows how to conduct himself if/when she behaves inappropriately at work, and would expect him to let me know what’s happening on that front, for the next little while.

Post # 7
Member
6204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Some girls just say those kinds of things to everyone and are overly flirtatious. I wouldn’t read too much into that one.

Post # 8
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@busybride215:  Wow that would piss me off so much! Unfortunately there will always be women like that :/ I am not married yet, but as soon as we got engaged FI started receiving texts from other girls that he hadn’t talked to in years. People tend to want what they can’t have it’s really sad. I think it’s a good thing that he was open about her texting. I would be concerned if he was hiding it. This girl clearly has some boundary issues…boss or not your husband is married and it is not appropriate to say those things! I would have a talk with your husband about how it makes you feel and establish some boundaries before it causes anymore conflict in your relationship. Good luck!

Also, I don’t buy the overly flirtatious personality thing. There are plenty of other fish in the sea so leave the married ones alone!

Post # 9
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@busybride215:  I would be so pissed! I think you handled it very well. I’m glad he finally did listen.

Post # 10
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I hate to say this but given his past history, he doesn’t really seem to have learnt just how inappropriate this sort of conversation is. I’m not saying he’s encouraging her but he isn’t doing a great job of discouragement either. Why would she even want to come out to see him late at night anyway? Only I can’t imagine that going down well with even the most tolerant and understanding wife!

Post # 12
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@busybride215:  There is a big difference between people that work in an office setting together and people that work in a bar or restaurant setting…the dynamic is entirely different, and what works and is appropriate and expected in one, does not work in the other.

I hate texting and e-mails because tone and intention can be inserted by the reader when none was intended…and while I get that your husband is a married man who totally conducts himself accordingly in both his personal and professional arenas….you have to understand that the things people do and say with their co-workers in a bar setting are playful, pithy and a complete departure from what happens in my office where someone comes in to talk to me about a spreadsheet.

He honestly may be avoiding telling her to stop saying things like, “I wub you…” which is likely some inside joke from a shift they worked or something like that, because he doesn’t want her to think, that HE thinks she’s hitting on him…it could all be innocent, but the first one to take it seriously is going to be gossip fodder around the bar for weeks, and if he’s a manager, maintaining and approachable and easy going presence with the other employees is key.

I think you’ve got valid points, but he’s got to work with these people too….so really think about this before you take things to a level five police state…after all, he wasn’t the one initiating this stuff, she was…he’s just got to mitigate that AND keep everyone happy.

Post # 14
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@busybride215:  I agree that her behavior is odd and inappropriate…but what exactly could he do about it?

Post # 15
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

@busybride215:  No. I don’t think you’re being insecure. He should see why it’s a problem. I’m sure he wouldn’t like it if the shoe was on the other foot.

It concerns me that you said he used to have problems talking to girls inappropriately. It seems like he still has difficulty knowing where the line should be. Perhaps he has been giving encouraging non-verbals, I don’t know.

Post # 16
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I mean…I tell the guys I work with that I miss them, but I don’t have any of their phone numbers, nor do I text them. That’s weird.

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