Weddingbee boards

If he voted for Palin.....

If he had an affair with someone and it was an actual relationship....

If he decided to pick up hunting or abused an animal...

If he decided he wanted children for sure....

I'm just kidding(ish) about the Palin one :P, but the two middle ones would be instant dealbreakers and the last one would be heartbreaking but I've gone down that rode before and the marriage ended for basically that reason. :(

Everything else is pretty forgivable, I think.

@Cash000:

:P  That's why they come in all types, right? :)

Dealbreakers:
Abuse/neglect
Drugs
Cigarettes
Cheating

(and if he were registered to vote in the USA, I'd have to agree with @luckyprincess... )

Hmmm.

-if he didn't want to have kids

-was abusive/violent/emotionally draining

-hurt children/animals (not including hunting)

-did not have the same goals and ambitions as me

I don't know what to think about cheating. It has never happened to me, and FI would absolutely never even put himself in a position that would be questionable, so I have no worries about it, and personally don't know how I would react if it were to ever come up.

Also, if my FI wasn't actively trying to kick his tobacco habit, I would have a serious problem with it, and it probably wouldn't end well.

i would have to say that cheating (whether it be once or more than once) and abuse of any kind would be deal breakers for me

I would have to say cheating is one of my main dealbreakers.  I've had a cheater before.. and I feel like if he does it once, he'll do it again.  That's been my experience, anyway.  I wouldn't be able to look at my SO the same afterwards.  It's the toughest thing to get through, because you have to look at him and think of him being with someone else in a way that you thought was only for you.  I think we as women let our emotional attachments get more involved than our common sense and stay in relationships with cheaters faaarrr too much.   It's sad because if it is the female who cheats, usually the guy doesn't think twice.  He's out.  And to me, that's smart.

Abuse (physical & emotional) is also a dealbreaker.  I've also had an abusive relationship-- I've just done it all, huh?  LoL.  But yeah, not going down that road again.

Does this thread make anyone else think of 30 Rock, when Liz does the "That's a dealbreaker, ladies!" show and book? Hehe!
 

I don't think cheating would be 100% a deal breaker for me-- I think before we were engaged, it definitely would have been. But the more we get into our life together, the more it would take for me to leave. If he got an STD/ STI or got another women pregnant, obviously that would make the decision a little easier. But I think that if any of that were to happen, it would be situational for me and at this point, I can't say that I definitely would leave or that I definitely would stay. It would depend on how long we've been together/ married, what our life looks like, and if we have children. There are a lot of things to consider, and to me, it's not just cut and dry.

I also think addiction wouldn't be a deal breaker, right off the bat, either. I am committing to him through thick and thin, and I think that it would be my role as his wife to try to support him, get him into rehab and on his way to sobriety. Obviously, if it extremely affected our finances or if he put our (future) children in danger, that would make things clearer, but again, same as cheating, it's not just cut and dry.

If he wants to hunt, he can hunt legally... but only if he is not going to be wasteful-- you know? Use all the meat and everything else that can be used. But I don't want to hear about it, see it or be around it.

Dealbreakers: I think any type of abusive towards myself or our (future) children. Any other obvious felonies (child molestation, rape, kidnapping, murder, etc). If he decided he didn't want kids-- I don't know that I would be able to give up that dream if he asked me to.

Abuse

Adultery

Visible nose picking (I'm serious, noses gross me out)

@menobride: Lol!

I'd say anything that turns him into a person I no longer recognize, This include cheating, abuse, drugs, smoking., lack of ambition.....

@abbyful:

I am a vegetarian.  Don't eat meat.  Don't wear leather. Don't wear suede.  Wouldn't be caught dead in fur (that's also because I follow fashion, though) and would never, ever, ever look twice at a guy that hunted.  I find it to be a huge character flaw.  For me.  I think most people that listed that already know exactly what hunting is and don't agree with it.  Just wanted to throw that out there since the arguments to hunt mean nothing to me and I see it brought up a lot.  But I really think that if someone feels so strongly about it having someone say 'but I like to see it die!  It's healthier!' or something isn't going to change their mind ;)

And on topic, I guess I have to amend my list to include abuse of me or any other kind of predator action, like was mentioned above.  I'd be out.  (I'm continually surprised though, by women who stay with men that are convicted of rape or murder...what the hell is their dealbreaker??)

Definitely abuse of any kind against anyone. But now if he went after say, someone who raped/murdered me or his mom or my mom, dads, SILs, brothers, that might be a different story. He is not a violent man. But I can't say that he wouldn't go after someone who hurt people he loves.

My deal breakers:

-Cheating

-Cigarettes

-Drug/alcohol abuse

-Animal cruelty

-Abuse

-Not wanting children

I agree about the smoking and the hunting or harming an animal. I don't have much of a problem with hunting if it is for food but hanging a dead animals head on the wall is really sickening, and anyone who calls it a sport should maybe be chased around with a gun for an afternoon. To me a sport is something between two fairly evenly matched opponents. But, I digress...I wouldn't date/marry someone interested in hunting, and smoking is just gross. Anyone who would hurt a pet isn't someone I'd even want to know.

@abbyful:

I'm an ecology student, so yes, I understand it better than most.  No, that doesn't change it since I have seen with my own two eyes what hunters really do and that they actually 'get off' on causing the pain of/ending the life of another living being.  Natural predators are the best ecological pressure - not a bunch of blood thirsty, violent and misguided sexually perverse and sadomasochistic degenerates running around shooting animals in the effort to watch them bleed to death in the dirt.

Thanks, though.

I couldn't agree more. I have an uncle who hunts. He gets a gleem in his eye when he talks about the bear he killed. He didn';t eat it, he killed it for the challenge. I'm not really sure what kind of challenge it was, since the bear had no opportunity to run or defend itself, let alons=e shoot back. I find this behavoir repulsive.

And, I've seen hunting shows on tv (though I usually can't wait to turn them off). The hunters usually talk about how beautiful the animal is, right before they shoot it. Sometimes while said hunter is hidden in the dark and the animal is just hanging out chewing on grass, in its own habitat.

And as far as including this in this thread...well, I guess I'd say this is a public forum and if someone wants to post that hunting turns them off, I don't think it's anyone else's place to tell her she needs to put it in another thread. I believe said poster started a thread about what kind of meats people eat and then got on her high horse about hunting. Maybe the topic of which meats you eat doesn't belong on a wedding board. But, that's not for me to decide any more than it is for said poster to decide where someone else can post.

@menobride:

Thanks menobride! Yes, I agree - it belongs here because I would not let a hunter buy me a drink, take me out or marry me - so its a huge dealbreaker.  Nice to know I'm not alone ! :)