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We are getting a dog, even though I am EXTREMELY allergic! I'm scared hehe
I would actually say staying in our home state. I always had plans to move somewhere else, at least for a while. DH loves where we live, loves his family and friends (I do too, but I currently don't live near any of them anyway), and it would really probably tear him apart if we moved. I understand that, and have learned to love the blizzardy, sometimes really boring, wonderland we live in.
On another note, a big sacrifice he makes for me is loving and helping me to take care of our dog. If it was up to him he'd be petless, he'd rather have the extra time and less responsibility.
I'd also say staying in our home state. I hate the cold and planned to move. My family moves around a lot, so I wasn't worried about it, but his family is established here and we really don't want to be more than a few hours away from them. So I gained a family, and I'm really happy about that, but every winter it makes me cringe a little!
the TV!
he refuses to watch any of my TV shows. Not that I am home a lot because of work and school, but still. The only show that I watch that he wont argue on is the Hills. Any other reality show, forensic files, wedding shoes, SVU, he will argue and complain the entire time its on. I HATE it. its constantly an arguement. Our tv stays at ESPN or his Xbox is on. Most of the time I am upstairs doing homework or we throw a Netflix movie in. We normally agree on those. wierd i know.
A tidy house and general organization!
My husband is a pack-rat and totally disorganized. Piles of change, old receipts, junk mail, etc. all over the place, mostly his desk.
My system for dealing with it- let it go until I'm about to lose my mind, and then make him clean it all up. That means I move/remove piles of stuff from random spots around the house on daily basis and he cleans up his desk about once every month or two.
While I love a tidy house, I don't want to force him to conform to my way of doing things. So I try not to be a neat freak and he cleans up when I insist.
For me, it's making a permanent commitment to live on the other side of the world from my home and my family. It's a big sacrifice, but worth it. And he recognises that it's a sacrifice, which helps.
We aren't married yet, but have already made sacrifices for each other while dating/engaged. I had a plan to move to CA before we got together and agreed to forget it when we realized things were getting serious. Now we live in NYC together which is great, but he has agreed to move to Philly with me in the future which is where I'm from. Obviously not small things, but necessary sacrifices we are both making/will make in order to do the best thing for us.
This is a really good question!
One thing I've sacrificed is meat-based dining experiences. My husband went vegetarian while we were dating, and while I was proud of him in many ways, it does often put a crimp in our dining plans. We always have to research a restaurant before going so that he's not suck with just salad. And steakhouses? Yeah, we never go. He'll take me once a year as his gift to me for being so understanding, and he'll just get a salad and some veggie sides. But I really do sometimes wish we didn't have to plan our restaurant experiences beforehand every time.
BUT, he's totally worth it :)
Also, while we were dating, we both thought that we wanted to be city people for a long time, and while we were engaged, we moved to a city from a very country-esque part of NY. Now that I've lived in Chicago for three years, I'm ready to go buy a house back in the NY 'burbs because I miss my family and I've come to realize I'm really a country person at heart who just likes to shop :) He's, however, still comitted to living in the city for a while, so we're compromising, and instead of staying here another eight years, we're leaning more toward another three or so. I've it was just me, I'd be moving back right now.
We found a house we both loved about 2 years ago to buy and I have to drive an hour to work one way now. He drives 10 minutes. Oh well, could be worse!
How far in advance we plan things. I'd prefer six months, he'd like to plan maybe a day in advance. Both of us are nuts, we know. Compromise actually pulls us both towards a saner middle, thankfully!
@cheerful, that is how we are! I'm still formulating mine, but I think it will be similar!
I think my biggest sacrifices are a tidy house and probably not having a husband who shares my religion (is that a sacrifice though? i guess that's just accepting somethign about him). GREAT question!
Me staying in Korea...that's my biggest sacrifice. Right after that would be allowing meat to be cooked in my pristine vegetarian kitchen.
For him, it's speaking English every day and not yelling at me for how slow my Korean skills are coming along.
@jbbaby - do you know what kind of dog you are going to get? I would suggest a poodle or anything mixed with it (Labradoodle, Golden Doodle, etc). I am extremely allergic to dogs, cats, horses, etc and I have a poodle that can sleep pretty much on my face and Im fine. They dont have dander which makes them non-allergenic (and they dont shed, bonus!)
I think my biggest sacrifce will be in our future when we have kids. He wants to raise them Catholic and I am Jewish. They will still know they are Jewish and we will celebrate the holidays but I know it will be hard realizing they will never have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Its just hard because Im not super religious but I wont give up my religion either. He doesnt expect me to obvioulsy but his family is religious so its hard for me to say no to him when Im not super religious to begin with.
@naangel55: I understand what you mean. I culturally was brought up Jewish, but my family isn't really immersed in the religion. But at the same time I would have a really really hard time allowing my kids to grow up Christian/Catholic even though I don't have any religious ties myself!
Luckily, although FI is Catholic, no one except his Grandma is really religious and it is more a cultural aspect as they are Filipino..
@futuremrsduff--that's funny because we are actually moving back up to Minneapolis after living away from home for a while. That is my FI's biggest sacrifice. He is from New Hampshire and I convinced him to move to Minneapolis with me so we could be close to my family. Although I have sacrificed and moved to be with him while he is in law school.
My hubs's biggest sacrafice is him moving away from his boys and where he has spent a significant part of his life at so that I can be closer to my family. I am truly thankful that he wanted to move up there since before I was away from all my family and friends. So it's kind of a trade-off. My sacrafice is that I have an hour commute (one-way) to work now.
Best part of this all is that my hubby is the one who initiated the move. I was OK with living and starting our family where he was from. I actually accepted the fact that that is where we would be. When he visited my hometown for the first time years ago, he told me on our drive home that he wanted to move up there. I was one happy woman!
There are lots of little day-to-day sacrifices that we both make for each other, but similar to others on here the biggest one I can think of is that we are living where he wants to live, not where I would like to live.
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As much as our DHs enhance our lives, there is always going to be some sacrifice..whether just some 'me' time or some of your belongings as you move in together. For some, it may be a bigger adjustment to living together or moving to another state.
What do you consider your biggest sacrifice to make your marriage better?