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Because weddings are celebrating the marriage of two people! It's kind of like a test, you know? If you can get through the stress of a wedding, you'll have a good chance at making it through the marriage! My husband handled our dinner arrangements, his part of the wedding party, communication with our photographer, and his attire. He happily left flowers to me, saying that he had no idea which flowers were which and I probably cared a lot more. He was right :-). We divided tasks up according to our abilities and responsibilities (i.e., I think men should be able to dress themselves).
He's in charge of his boys, we will go shopping for his tux together but it is really his choice (he chose to wear a tuy over a suit). He is also the main vote in food and music. I've asked him to take on the honeymoon and he is happy to do so. Togheter, we chose the reception venue, color scheme, and photographer. He hates calling people so I have been setting up most appointments but he always has a say. I agree that it is a joint effort because it is a celebration for the both of you. Sometimes I wish I could just show up and everything will be great but I fear that he would go over budget and miss a lot of the small stepy if left to organize on his own.
Ours is a complete partnership. We're each in charge of a certain number of things, split fairly evenly, but hardly any decisions get made (except my dress) that aren't done in partnership. I'll often do more of the legwork, because I'm slightly keener to get things done, but he cares a lot about the day and how it's going to run, and he'd be really upset if I were planning things without him.
We have allocated point people to each job -- he's in charge of the church, I'm in charge of the reception venue, etc etc. It's working really well.
I have done almost everything and I like it that way. Obviously we chose the venue and date together, but most other things I have researched and showed him a few options and we've decided from there. He met the celebrant & photographer, but not the florist. He liked the cake tasting the best :) He says he bought a ring & planned a good proposal so his work is done. As long as he shows up on time, sober and looking fabulous I don't mind :)
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My FMIL told me that FH is not really suppose to be a part in the wedding process.
FH wants to be.
He is in charge of choosing his groomsmen, what tux him and his gm should wear, little things like what events we want at our receptions and one of the biggest things he is taking care of is most of the music (I said most because I do get to choose a few of them and have the opportunity to say no to some of his music.)
Sometimes when we argue about little things and that's when I think... why can't he be someone who just wants to know where and when he need to show up.