(Closed) What is your personal parenting style?

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Interesting topic.  I don’t have kids yet, but have spent a few years nannying full time for a family of three, and have lots of other child care experience.  I hope to stick with my style with my own children.

 

Cry it out- Pro.

Co-sleeping- Anti.

Pro-choice.

Pro-breastfeeding if possible.  I’ll supplement with bottles if necessary.

cloth diapers-I love the idea, but probably won’t.

circumcision-pro

spanking-no, anti.

time outs-for sure

vaccinations-pro

medicated birth-yes please

extended rear facing-not sure…

Crib bumpers-not sure yet.  I haven’t done enough research, but probably anti.

Team green.  I am split 50/50 on this.  Probably wont know until the time comes. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

  • Cry It Out: ANTI
  • Co-sleeping: PRO. We don’t all the time, but for an hour or so in the mornings and during his naps:)
  • Pro-choice
  • Pro-breastfeeding
  • pro- disposables
  • Circumcision: PRO
  • Spanking: ANTI
  • Time Outs: ANTI
  • Vaccinations: PRO
  • Medicated birth: PRO
  • Extended rear facing for car seat: PRO
  • Crib Bumpers: PRO
  • Team green: I love the idea, but I don’t think I could be that patient.

We decided to allow our son to decide when he was ready to sleep through the night instead of forcing him to before he was ready. He’s an amazing sleeper and likes to sleep pressed up against the side of the crib so I’m happy we have the bumper to pad his little noggin!

Post # 5
Member
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

  • Pro or Anti: Cry It Out

    Anti! If you child needs help, you should help them! I don’t believe in letting an infant cry it out for any reason unless it’s for your mental health (Like if you have a Colicky baby and you will physically do harm to them if you hear crying for one more second)
  • Pro or Anti: Co-sleeping

    Anti. Too many dead baby accidents! But I do like the idea of napping with your baby post-feeding. I do work as a night nurse for infants, and I have definitely napped for 10-15 minutes while sitting up and holding an infant!
  • Pro-life or Pro-choice

    Pro-choice. No one should be forced to be a mommy!
  • Pro-breastfeeding or pro-bottle feeding

    Breast is best!
  • Pro- cloth diapers or pro- disposables

    DISPOSABLES. I see SO many new parents who get cloth and spend the next year regreting it! There is NO reason to suffer like that!
  • Pro or Anti: Circumcision

    Pro. It’s in Genesis.
  • Pro or Anti: Spanking

    Pro, but only for older kids (3-5 years) and only as a very final resort.
  • Pro or Anti: Time Outs

    Pro, but they only really work for kids three years or older. Children under three can’t developmentally understand that type of punishment.
  • Pro or Anti: Vaccinations

    Pro! Why would you not protect your kids if you have the ability to?
  • Pro or Anti: Medicated birth

    I’d like a natural birth, but I won’t know for sure until I’m transitioning!
  • Pro or Anti: Crib Bumpers

    Neutral overall, but anti for my kids because of the choking risk.
  • Pro or Anti: Team green

    Neutral! I don’t know if I’ll want to know or not!

Post # 6
Member
2082 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@AcheneMalefic: 

Let me start out by saying I do not have children, so these feelings may change if I do become a mother.

Pro or Anti: Cry It Out- I would say this one depends on the situation. If the baby sounds like it’s in distress (high pitched) than I would definitely see what was wrong. I would probably lean more towards anti though, I can’t imagine feeling comfortable while my baby was crying.

Pro or Anti: Co-sleeping- Hmm, my mother sleep with me during storms or if I’d have a bad dream till I was 11. I not sure if that’s good or not. I would probably do it if it was storming or they were really upset until they were 10.

Pro-life or Pro-choice- Again, depends on the situation. In instances of rape, incest or a life threatening complication, I would consider getting an abortion. As far as whether other women get an abortion is none of my business. I’m pro-choice as far as that goes.

Pro-breastfeeding or pro-bottle feeding- I would definitely try to breast feed. I have read many articles and seen enough research to know this is best for the baby. If I had to work full-time I’d try to pump as much milk as I need to when I was off work. As far as what other women do, it’s ultimately their choice.

Pro- cloth diapers or pro- disposables- I would try disposable diapers at first because it seems more convenient. If my child had a rash or allergy and I needed to use cloth ones, I would.

Pro or Anti: Circumcision- Anti, I don’t see a reason at this point why I would need to circumsize my child.

Pro or Anti: Spanking- Pro but never out of anger, and only from 2ish to 10 years old.

Pro or Anti: Time Outs- I’m not sure whether this works or not. So, I’d say anti.

Pro or Anti: Vaccinations- Pro at this point, as I think the benefits outweigh the risks

Pro or Anti: Medicated birth-Pro, each person’s perception of pain is different. They have a right to receive an anesthetic. I’ll likely want one.

Pro or Anti: Extended rear facing for car seat- Whatever the car manufacturer suggests for the babies safety.

Pro or Anti: Crib Bumpers- I’m not sure what this is but if it’s a safety item, I’m for it.

Pro or Anti: Team green- I’ll need to look this one up also but I’m definitely for recycling.

 

Post # 7
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I am:

  • Pro: Cry It Out
  • Pro: Co-sleeping (with safety measures such as co-sleeper crib next to the bed)
  • Pro-choice
  • Pro-breastfeeding
  • Pro- disposables (just so much easier to deal with)
  • Anti: Circumcision (but FH is Pro and he gets final say)
  • Pro: Spanking
  • Pro: Time Outs
  • Pro: Vaccinations
  • Pro: Medicated birth
  • Pro: Extended rear facing for car seat
  • Anti: Crib Bumpers
  • Meh: Team green (wouldn’t say I am anti but I prefer knowing)

Post # 8
Member
13101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

For me, I’d say the following:

  • Cry It Out – Pro.  I think it is important to learn to self-soothe.  Also, my mom did CIO with me and my siblings and we all became great sleepers very quickly and all grew up to be independent children and adults (with no lasting trauma).

  • Co-sleeping – Anti.  Too much chance to a tragedy.  Plus, I think it is important to maintain some boundries between parents and baby.  Baby doesn’t have to be by your side every second and mom and dad need some alone time to themselves.

  • Pro-life or Pro-choice – For myself, pro-life except for rape, incest, risk of death to mother, or severe deformity in baby.  For others, pro-choice.  I may not like the choice, but I wouldn’t force someone else to carry a child.

  • Pro-breastfeeding or pro-bottle feeding – Neutral.  I want to try to breastfeed but have zero problem switching to bottles if that is what works best for us.  Me and my siblings are all happy, healthy, successful bottle-fed children.  For others, it’s simply a personal choice.  I don’t think that one is better than the other.

  • Pro- cloth diapers or pro- disposables – Neutral.  I’d like to cloth diaper but I don’t think either choice is better or worse.  Simply personal preference.

  • Circumcision – Neutral.  I leave this up to DH since he’s a guy and he has a penis (and clearly, I don’t).

  • Spanking – Pro.  I was spanked as a child and it truely was the most effective form of discipline for me when I was young.  Spanking (ie a quick swat or two to the butt with an open palm through clothes) taught me pretty quickly what I should and shouldn’t do.  I was never hurt, just uncomfortable.  But that discomfort got the point accross!  I never resented my parents and we’ve always had a wonderful relationship.

  • Time Outs – Pro.  If making your child sit in a corner and think about what they’ve done wrong and why they shouldn’t do it works, why not?  I think you still need to parent and explain why they are getting the time-out to ensure they understand though.

  • Vaccinations – Pro.  I’d prefer to help ensure my kids don’t die or have life-long complications from things like whooping cough, measles, mumps, rubella, polio, etc.

  • Medicated birth – Neutral.  I’d like to try to have a natural birth but am not opposed to medicines if I feel the need.  And I couldn’t care less what others do.

  • Extended rear facing for car seat – I don’t really know enough about this yet but I’ll do whatever the manufacturers and health authorities feel is safest for the child.

  • Crib Bumpers – Anti.  From what I understand, they increase SIDS risk.  Why take the chance for something that is (primarily) decorative?

  • Team green – Can you really be pro or anti this?  I will find out what I’m having but I couldn’t care less what other people choose to do.

Post # 9
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Good luck with the whole not getting people to argue thing…I’ve discovered as a pregnant women that everyone in the world has an opinion that they feel you absolutely must hear, and agree with, on every parenting topic out there!

 

I really feel that some of this stuff is just impossible to know which side you’ll fall on before you actually have children. So these are my leanings, but I realize that it could happen where they feel wrong to me or turn out to just not be possible once my baby makes his appearance in the next 4-6 weeks. We’ll see how it goes!

 

Cry It Out: Unsure. I’m hoping to establish a balance between being reassuring and there when baby really needs me, and him learning to self-soothe.

 

Co-sleeping: Anti. I’ll have him by our bed for the first bit, but there is too much of a history of SIDS in my family for me to ever put my baby in a bed with things they could suffocate on (or people that could roll over on him!)

 

Pro-life or Pro-choice: Pro-choice. Pregnancy has only solidified this for me – I’ve had an awful time with it and don’t think it’s anyone’s place to tell a woman she must go through that unwillingly. I do feel that it should be done early on though.

 

Pro-breastfeeding or pro-bottle feeding: Unsure. I know the benefits to breastfeeding, but I also know I don’t love the idea of it. Yes, I know, it’s what my body is meant to do, our culture over-sexualizes breasts, whatever. It’s still how I feel. I’ll attempt and we’ll see how it goes.

 

Pro- cloth diapers or pro- disposables: Neither. I don’t really think you can be anti-cloth diapering, there’s nothing wrong with it, but with my lifestyle I really want the convenience of disposables.

 

Circumcision: I don’t know!! Which is really bad because we ARE having a boy! DH and I debate this regularly. He wants it, I’m unsure.

 

Spanking: Pro. Not to the point of causing harm, but I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with a swat now and then if a child is doing something dangerous or their behavior is completely out of line.

 

Time Outs: Pro

 

Vaccinations: Pro. For the most part anyways, it depends on the vaccine.

 

Medicated birth: Neither. I’m hoping for un-medicated, but that’s just because I hate needles. If someone else wants medicine, they should go for it. It’s their birth experience, not mine!

 

Extended rear facing for car seat: Pro. Never hurts to be too safe about car seats!

 

Crib Bumpers: Anti. Admittedly, this is one I get fired up about due to my family history with SIDs.

 

Team green: ??? Not sure how you can be pro or anti this, it’s just the parent’s individual decision. I wanted to know, I like my surprises as early as possible haha – suspense kills me!

 

 

 

Post # 10
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It will be interesting to see how all of your opinions change (or don’t) after becoming parents. I know mine have.

Cry It Out: Anti. Well, mostly. Cry it out fixes a specific sleep problem (a baby’s inability to fall asleep on their own) and I think it’s overused. I also think many people do it way too young, before a baby is actually capable of self-soothing. I think it should be done as a last resort, and only if the baby is over 6 months. 

Co-sleeping: Pro. I didn’t think I would be, but we co-sleep, and I think it’s great for all of us. I’m much calmer and happier knowing he’s safe and happy, and he sleeps better. We kind of fell into it when he wouldn’t sleep in his bassinett and I was exhausted. Now he will sleep elsewhere, but wakes every 1-2 hours. If he’s in bed with us, we get 3-4 hour chunks. The sleep is totally worth it. HOWEVER, safety-wise, co-sleeping parents need to meet a list of criteria–most importantly, that they breastfeed. Bottle fed babies should not co-sleep. Jack McKenna has done a ton of research and is a huge advocate for co-sleeping, but says not to co-sleep with bottle-fed babies. 

Pro-life or Pro-choice: Pro-choice. Ish. I think it’s a shame that our society doesn’t take care of people who need help throughout pregnancy/childbirth/mothering/adoption. Until and unless that happens, I remain pro-choice. I also remain pro-choice in that I believe the law shouldn’t tell us what to do with our bodies. However, I do believe that abortion is morally regrettable (if not morally wrong) in most cases.

Pro-breastfeeding or pro-bottle feeding: Pro-breastfeeding. Not going to lie, this has been really hard for us. We had a million problems (even my lactation consultant talks about how hard it was for us), but now I’m so glad we stuck with it and it is great bonding for us.  

Pro- cloth diapers or pro- disposables: Either. We are just now switching to cloth and so far it’s going okay, but I’m not sold. With one kid, it seems it’s an environmental wash, but if/when we have more kids, I think ultimately it will be better. I also don’t like all the chemicals he’s exposed to with disposables. But we will probably use  a hybrid system.

Circumcision: whichever. I don’t think it does real harm to babies. I don’t think it’s necessary. DH chose to circumsize, I was fine with it.

Spanking: Anti- I think there is almost always a more effective consequence. I was spanked, and it never deterred my behavior and just made me afraid.  

Time Outs: Pro

Vaccinations: Pro. 

 Medicated birth: Neither. Whatever ppl want. We tried natural, but I wasn’t progressing. I got meds, the birth was great. I think there is way too much pressure put on women.

 Extended rear facing for car seat: Pro. 

 Crib Bumpers: Anti.  

Team green: Whatever. Personal choice. We found out, might not with future kids.

Post # 11
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

  • Pro or Anti: Cry It Out, at least in the infant stage
  • Pro or Anti: Co-sleeping (I’m sure I will fall victim to falling asleep while baby is feeding, but we are planning on having her in her own room/crib as part of the sleep routine)
  • Pro-life or Pro-choice
  • Pro-breastfeeding or pro-bottle feeding if you can, it’s not possibel for some moms and this should be a judgement-free zone, it’s what each woman is comfortable with choosing for her child.
  • Pro- cloth diapers or pro- disposables Ideally I’m pro cloth diapers, I also understand the convenience vs. environmental benefit tradeoff. I guess I’m kinda neutral on this one.
  • Pro or Anti: Circumcision Neither. I don’t think it harms the baby nor do I think it’s necessary. I would probably just have hubby pick if we had a boy.
  • Pro or Anti: Spanking after a certain age (3-4). It shouldn’t be a regular punishment, but I think it can be an effective way of parenting for SOME children. Spanking doesn’t work for all children.
  • Pro or Anti: Time Outs same comment as above about spanking (after a certain age), only if it works for your child.
  • Pro or Anti: Vaccinations
  • Pro or Anti (Neutral): Medicated birth. I am in awe of mamas who do it au natural, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with seeking medical intervention should you need it/want it.
  • Pro or Anti: (Neutral): Extended rear facing for car seat. Do what works best for your car/family/car seat situation. If you are given a free hand-me-down that’s not extended rear facing, don’t fret, save the money and use it. There are safety benefits to extended rear facing, but the benefits are pretty marginal once you consider ALL the other things that can go wrong in raising a child.
  • Pro or Anti: Crib Bumpers. I don’t like the look of bumpers anyway, but certainly if my baby’s limbs get caught in the crib slats a few times, I’ll be out shopping for breathable mesh bumpers.
  • Pro or Anti: Team green. It’s the parents’ choice. We are obsessive planners so we had to know. But I applaud those who have the patience to wait.

Post # 12
Member
3151 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with all the OPs PROS with the exception of Co-sleeping. I am also PRO co-sleeping.

Post # 13
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

No kids yet but here’s what I think I will be doing:

 

 

  • Cry It Out: PRO – if my child was in distress or really needed something of course I would go to them. But sometimes when putting kids down to sleep they need to learn to cry it out and self soothe. Or else you’re stuck letting them fall asleep in your arms everytime.

 

  • Co-sleeping: ANTI – never, never, never will I let this happen. I don’t see the reason for it and my husband and I need our own private time.

 

  • Pro-life or Pro-choice: Pro- choice

 

  • Pro-breastfeeding or pro-bottle feeding: Pro-breastfeeding. However, if I needed to bottle feed I would.

 

  • Pro- cloth diapers or pro- disposables: Undecided on this one.

 

  • Circumcision: PRO

 

  •  Spanking: Unsure. I think mostly anti.

 

  • Time Outs: Definitely PRO

 

  • Vaccinations: Definitely PRO. I would always give my kids any protection I could

 

  • Medicated birth: PRO- I don’t need to be a hero.

 

  • Extended rear facing for car seat: PRO- again why wouldn’t I protect my kids for as long as possible.

 

  • Crib Bumpers: ANTI

 

  • Team green: PRO, PRO, PRO. I will never ever find out the sex of my baby. There are few true surprises in life and this is one I want to keep a surprise.

 

 

Post # 14
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

  • Pro or Anti: Cry It Out – Anti
  • Pro or Anti: Co-sleeping – Anti
  • Pro-life or Pro-choice – Pro choice
  • Pro-breastfeeding or pro-bottle feeding – Breastfeeding (though I’m not against bottles)
  • Pro- cloth diapers or pro- disposables – Pro hybrids
  • Pro or Anti: Circumcision – Not my choice, since I don’t have a penis; FI will make this decision (he’s pro). I am very anti female circumcision (which his cousin, who is married to a man from Uganda, is considering doing to her daughter…eesh).
  • Pro or Anti: Spanking – Anti, if we’re talking about ass whoopings or something. If it’s a swat on the butt or on the hand, then pro if the situation calls for it.
  • Pro or Anti: Time Outs – pro
  • Pro or Anti: Vaccinations – pro
  • Pro or Anti: Medicated birth – anti
  • Pro or Anti: Extended rear facing for car seat – pro
  • Pro or Anti: Crib Bumpers – Ehhhh I don’t know. I don’t see how a kid is going to suffocate, but I do see how they’d smash their head into the slats or get caught in them or something.
  • Pro or Anti: Team green – Neither (anti for myself)

Post # 15
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I think my overall parenting style is that of moderation. I hang out in the middle ground a lot, even on things that before becoming a mom, I felt I would be adamently in one corner or the other.

  • Pro or Anti: Cry It Out – Pro up until a point. For the most part, I’m a proponent of letting a little one self soothe. However, if my son was sick or when he was a toddler and would sometimes have bad dreams, then it’s a little different. With bad dreams, I’d go into his room but sit across from him and we’d talk about it. Ultimately, he learned that he can talk through his fears. Prayer is an important thing in our home and at a young age, he learned that he can talk to God about his fears and ask Him to help him be brave. When he’s sick, I’ll soothe him and be more hands on. He’s a pretty tough kid so when he’s sick, I’ll go in as much as he needs me until he’s feeling better.  

 

  • Pro or Anti: Co-sleeping – I didn’t co-sleep with my son as an infant. I used to be a pretty heavy sleeper and was afraid of what could happen. After he got old enough to roll over and such, we’d occasionally take naps together but he’s slept in his own bed since the begining. He’s 4 now and comes to get in bed with me on occasion but typically only when he’s sick.

 

  • Pro-life or Pro-choice- For me, personally, I’m pro-life.

 

  • Pro-breastfeeding or pro-bottle feeding- I tried to breastfeed but couldn’t. I just didn’t make milk. I think breastfeeding is an excellent choice with lots of health benefits. However, bottle fed babies turn out great too. I honestly think it’s entirely up to what suits that family and that there isn’t a wrong answer.

 

  • Pro- cloth diapers or pro- disposables- In theory, I thought cloth diapering would have been a great choice. In all practicality, though, it just wouldn’t have worked for us.

 

  • Pro or Anti: Circumcision- I chose to circumsize my son. I work in health care and I’ve seen numerous young teenage boys come in for the procedure because they begged their parents. It’s much harder on a kid who is aware of what’s going on than it is on a baby.

 

  • Pro or Anti: Spanking- The jury is still out. I was spanked as a child. I never thought my mother to be abusive, especially since spankings were very rare. My son is much too young to understand this concept now, though. How can I teach him not to hit if I spank him for hitting?  I’m honestly hoping that this isn’t an anvenue that I’ll ever have to really explore. My son is pretty good at talking things through and I hope that he stays that way and we can avoid this altogether.

 

  • Pro or Anti: Time Outs– Pro. They work well for my son because he understands the concept. Before getting out of time out, he has to be able to verbalize the reason he was put there, what he should have done instead, and give an apology to anyone that needs one.

 

  • Pro or Anti: Vaccinations – Pro. Pro. Pro. As a nurse, I’ve seen what some of these diseases can do.

 

  • Pro or Anti: Medicated birth – I chose to have a medicated birth. I had an incredible birthing experience and was very present and pleased with it. I worked with anesthesia for years and spent a great deal of time with anesthesiologists for all patient populations. I had a pretty solid understanding of how it all works long before I became pregnant. For me, it was a logical and good choice. For mothers who opt to go natural, more power to you! In the end, the health of baby and mom and which ever choices are best for the family are what counts.

 

  • Pro or Anti: Extended rear facing for car seat – My son sat rear facing until after he met both age and weight guidelines. Had those guidelines been extended, I would have continued placing him rear facing for as long as it was reccommended. To me, his safety is of the utmost importance.

 

  • Pro or Anti: Crib Bumpers – Anti. AAP discourages them. I’d rather err on the side of caution. My son never had bumpers (Instead, it used them to make valances for his window).

 

  • Pro or Anti: Team green – If others jump on team green, I’m fully supportive of them. However, I’m too much of a planner to do it myself.

Post # 16
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

  • Pro or Anti: Cry It Out

I don’t know yet!  Pretty anti- but it depends on the age of the child!

  • Pro or Anti: Co-sleeping

I am extremely anti co-bedding.  I am extremely pro co-rooming.

  • Pro-life or Pro-choice

Pro-life.

  • Pro-breastfeeding or pro-bottle feeding

Pro-breast, but I don’t judge, I just hope I am able to successfully breastfeed.

  • Pro- cloth diapers or pro- disposables

Whatever works!  I would love to cloth, but we don’t have a washer in unit!

  • Pro or Anti: Circumcision

EXTREMELY ANTI!  There is no reason, short of religious (which I have respect for) to chop up a baby’s penis.  I find it cruel and barbaric.

  • Pro or Anti: Spanking

No way.  Not an appropriate way to handle things.

  • Pro or Anti: Time Outs

They can work, I think it depends on how it is done and the situation.

  • Pro or Anti: Vaccinations

VERY PRO!

  • Pro or Anti: Medicated birth

Very anti- however, I realize this is an ideal, and one I think all women should strive for if they are low risk and short of an emergency.

  • Pro or Anti: Extended rear facing for car seat

I will probably do this- safety first.  I will probably sit in the back too though πŸ™‚

  • Pro or Anti: Crib Bumpers

No way.  Baby needs air circulation.

  • Pro or Anti: Team green

I love team green!  I found out though… πŸ™‚

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