Post # 1
I have been wondering my relationships with my bridesmaids are” normal.” Are you really super close to your bridesmaids? Are they mostly family, FI’s family, or your close friends?
My bridal party is all family except for one friend that I asked. When I asked her, we were talking and hanging out at least once or twice a week even though we only knew each other for a few years. Lately we see each other once every two or three weeks at the most and don’t talk much in between that at all. Even the last time I saw her, we didn’t spend much time actually talking to or spending time with each other. This concerns me not because I question my choice, but because I’m wondering if she is getting uncomfortable with it.
Then I have my cousin who is 18 and lives for drama. We are close and talk on the phone once every week or two and make the effort to see each other whenever she’s back from college. I always think we are really close until something happens like, I commented “good luck!” on her Facebook when she was going on a job interview, but she didn’t want anyone to question what the “good luck” meant, so she deleted my comment, and wrote a passive-agressive status about it on twitter. Really? Considering the way she vents to me about other people, I know she is going to a friend or her boyfriend and saying, “Can you believe how annoying she is?” Her sister is a bridesmaid too, but we hardly talk outside of family events.
Is this normal bees? What’s your relationship with your bridesmaids like and do you wish it was different?
Post # 3
@vlbee: Im the same I have a few close friends and only sometimes talk to the others
Post # 4
I have 5 BM’s. I only wanted 3, but had to have 2 more because I couldnt imagine getting married without them.
2 of them are the closest things to best friends I have. One I’ve known since I was a kid. We grew up in Girl Scouts together and she was just older than me by enough for me to look up to, and now that we are grown we are like kindred spirits. The other has been a close friend since middle school. I went through a rough patch and lost a lot of friends for standing up for my christian beliefs, and she was the only one of my old friends who stuck by me.
2 of them are my best friends from college. College was rough for me…I attended a place where I thought I loved, but ended up not fitting in. These 2 girls and me stuck together and they made college fun. In the years since college, we stay as close as we can, even though we all 3 live at least a hour apart. I’ve gotten close with a few more people since college who I wish could be my bm’s instead of my college friends….ONLY because they are in the town where I live and I feel they would help me out more. I didn’t think I would ever want to have Bridesmaid or Best Man help, but Im starting to see how much it would help. But, my friends in town I see all the time, and I really want these 2 girls standing up with me. We were all in different stages, but we did a lot of wedding planning together and Ive been a Bridesmaid or Best Man in both their weddings. I know that’s not why I should have them….but like I said, I cant imagine doing it without them.
Bridesmaid or Best Man #5….FI’s sister. We aren’t friends. In the beginning I tried to find common ground and be friendly, but she’s 15 years older than me and we have always been in different places in life. When Fiance and I met and I was first meeting his family, she was married and trying to rebuild her relationship with her husband (rocky patches). I was 18 and she was early 30’s. She got pregant and had a kid…Fiance and I were in college. Now that we are planning our wedding, she’s going through a divorce and is turning 40 this year, and I’m 25. I went back and forth over having her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but Fiance is close with my brother (like BF’s) and I want my brother in the Bridal Party and I don’t feel right about having my brother and not having her. I still get brave and try to talk with her, but she seems so resistant! On the other hand…she has insisted that she’ll help with anything I need to her to, and she bought me really cute shower invites. My final decision was made when I decided that when its all said and done I’d rather her be there than not, no matter the status of our relationship because she’s family.
I just wrote a novel…but I’ve been wanting to get all that off my chest for awhile. I’m nervous about all my BM’s and how its all gonna work!
Post # 5
2 are my good friends, 1 is my sister, and 2 are FI’s sisters, whom I have a great relationship with. The thing is, none of them live in the same state as me, so we have long distance relationships 😉
Post # 6
I havn’t even picked all my bridesmaids yet because I am so worried about falling out of touch with them .
Is it just me or dose it seem so much easier for the guys?
It’s times like these I wish I had sisters!
Post # 7
I am super close with 1 of my BMs…and she’s standing last in line! I have my sister first, then Future Sister-In-Law (I wanted her last but FH objected) who I talk to regularly, but not super close with either. Then my best friend from college who I talk to regularly and am close with, but Bridesmaid or Best Man 4 I talk to for at least a few hours a day, but I’ve known her the least amount of time (except FSIL).
Post # 8
@Seaburt: It is soo much easier for the guys! My Fiance couldn’t include one of his good friends and he just said, “Hey man, you understand, right?” and the guy said “Yeah, it’s cool, don’t worry!” AND THAT WAS IT.
This is why FI’s head spins when I talk to him about this.
Post # 9
I picked my 2 best friends.
Although I’m getting a little worried because 1 of them I rarely hear from now that I’m stationed overseas… I message her on facebook just to ask how she is and what’s going on in her life and she responds like 3 weeks later even though she’s on facebook posting statuses and whatnot… I feel like maybe she’s avoiding me or I’ve offended her but I’m not sure why/how. I guess I just need to ask. :/
Post # 10
I have 6 BMs in total.
1 Maid/Matron of Honor and 2 BMs are my best friends, I grew up with them and we used to form a singing group. (Cheesy huh?)
1 Bridesmaid or Best Man is the younger sister of the Maid/Matron of Honor and her and I are super close as well.
1 Bridesmaid or Best Man is my friend that I met a little more than 6 years ago and her and I have gotten close in those 6 years.
Bridesmaid or Best Man #5 is FI’s sister who I get along with very well. We’re not necessarily close but we have a great relationship.
FI’s sister is the only one who doesn’t know everyone else but when they’re all got together for their first dress measurements, she got along with everyone even though she’s the oldest at 33.
Post # 11
Haha you guys should look at the board I posted yesterday! I am asking for help picking my bridesmaids.
I would not just pick who got the most votes, but was more looking for advice! I keep going over and over it in my head but I am still confused!
But all that matters is you are marrying your true best friend 🙂
Post # 12
I only have a Maid/Matron of Honor. I asked one of my close friends, she introduced us! There are a few other girls that I would really like as BMs but I don’t want to put the pressure on them. I will be asking some of them to come earlier in the day to spend some time with me.
Even though the rest of the girls are not ‘offical’ BMs I picked them because of how supportive they are. If anything were ever to go wrong in our relationship I know I could turn to them for advice.
Post # 13
@Seaburt: Definitely easier for the guys! lol
Fiance picked his older brother and asked one of his military friends (and then after he said he’d be glad to, Fiance told him not to so he doesn’t waste his leave! lol) and that was that!
Post # 14
Mines tense with some bridesmaids at the moment and theres five too, i have a bestie and three friends from school & my FIs sister funny thing is shes the only one im not that close with and shes helping me the most.
Post # 15
I have 3 in total. Maid and Matron of honor and a Bridesmaid or Best Man and those 3 girls have been by my side through thick and thin. I have an older sister that I do not talk to, we parted ways a couple of years ago (her own choice, not even sure if she’s coming to the wedding or not) and my girls have been there to help me cope with not having her around for my wedding, they have been my rock and they are also close friends of Fiance.
Post # 16
I have 3 BMs, and they are the most amazing women ever! One is my sister, and the other two are friends from college (all of them married, and I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor in the weddings). I have a very different type of relationship with each of them, but I know I can always count on them for anything and would take a bullet for them. I don’t live near any of them now unfortunately, but it’s comforting to know our friendship has survived distance and time. I am so stoked they are all coming to wedding, I just couldn’t imagine them not there!