- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
So a good friend of mine is pregnant with her third child. Her older kids are 2 and 5. She wants a baby shower... but I'm thinking she's already HAD two! Am I wrong for thinking a shower for every sibling is excessive? If anything, I think this shower should just be a time for a get together and cake, but they dont need any more ~things~... except maybe I dunno savings bonds for the new kid toward college.
I work as a full time nanny so I know how expensive raising kids is, but I think this shower for each kid thing is just silly.... but maybe I'm alone?
I will add that if the kid is born like 5 years after their sibling that makes sense to have a new shower with NEW gifts at least. I once went to a shower (for a second child) where people just brough toys their babies loved but have outgrown and I thought that was really cool, too. There was new things as well but the whole theme was to regift things that you werent using.. baring in mind they should be in great playable condition.
A lot of my friends have told me that in their family you get 1 shower unless the kids are very far apart in age. But in my family we celebrate every child with a babyshower. I've heard a lot of it is cultural. But who knows. We also have "sprinkles" if your having a baby of the same sex close to the 1st one. Its just diapers, wipes & some clothes. No big gifts. I def dont think its excessive. We have a 19month old & if i got pregnant tomorrow my family would give us another huge shower.
every baby needs diapers and wipies, why not have a shower for each of them? In my family you get a baby shower everytime.
I haven't thought of this before... my sister just had the first baby in our family in a lot of years. I think we'll have a shower for each baby though, they'll always need more/new/different stuff! For example, what happens if both kids will still be "babies" and need cribs and 2 of all the baby furniture?
IMO I think that to expect multiple showers is a little greedy. Have a welcoming party but to continue to ask people to fund gifts for your children everytime you so choose to have one is a bit much.
In our fam its always just 1 shower per family. Maybe another one if you had a kid like 8 years later or something.
We always have a shower for each little one! I think every baby deserves a shower and they are as much for the baby as they are for the psrents. Plus when it comes to baby #2+ you can get more custom gifts that are really aimed toward the baby ands sometimes have more meaning imho!
I'm kinda split on this one. I think two babies/two showers is great, but I think perhaps at three children, it may be too much? (Unless there is a big age gap) Hmm...very good question. I'm kind of in the middle on this one. (But I voted for showers for 2 children-any more is excessive)
I personally don't see a problem with it. People want to celebrate the new additions to the family! And every baby (no matter how many siblings they have) needs diapers, wipes, etc. Plus - for example - if you've had all girls and are now having a boy, you can't really put your baby boy in a the pink, floral clothes his sisters used. (Well, I guess you can, but I'd certainly wouldn't dress my boy in pink - lol). But what I'm really saying is that just because you already have kids doesn't mean that everything can be carried over from one to the next.
I'm in the "every baby should get a shower" camp. I don't think of showers as for the parents as much as I do for the babies, so I have no problem with families having multiple showers. And honestly, I doubt the mothers are the ones thinking they need to have another shower. It's usually family and friends that are the ones that want to celebrate. How many of us have had multiple bridal showers? I personally had 2, one of which I didn't want, but felt it rude to decline.
I think every little one should get a shower. Honestly they will probably be living through alot of hand me downs throughout their life, they should atleast get their own shower! Plus baby showers are so much fun. I love looking at all the cute new baby stuff! My grandma makes a blanket for every new baby regardless of how many siblings they have!
Now the Duggars and their 19 kids is another story....
I don't see a problem with it. I hosted a shower for one of my good friends for each of her two kids. They are different sexes and almost 4 years apart in age. My friend thought it would seem greedy but I didn't think so. She only registered at a one place and we only invited probably a third of the people we invited for the first shower. I think each baby deserves a celebration and a chance to look back at the photos and see how happy his/her parents and family were =) It doesn't have to be elaborate...but if somebody OFFERS to throw one...I don't see the harm. However...it should be because someone offered and not b/c the parents requested/demanded one.
People keep using the word "greedy" i dont see how its greedy. Unless your out there begging people to throw you a shower & begging for gifts.
@nenalibre1: I agree...it's only greedy if the couple demands/requests a shower. If somebody offers, I am totally OK with that.
I had a friend who's on baby #2. Her first baby was a girl, baby #2 is a boy. They had a small shower. I thought it was okay because the babies were different sexes (and thus different clothes/ bedding). They already have all the "big purchase" stuff like strollers and cribs.
My only issue with it is that my friend is the one asking for it. Her kids are all boys so she has plenty of stuff and shes the one asking around for someone to throw a shower... we're all looking around like... cmon 3 boys in 5 years. I dont think its GREEDY but I do find it EXCESSIVE. Yeah sure lets get together for cake and games... I'd even bring some diapers... but shes already registered for all these new toys and yeah... I don't see the point.
@snake: In this case...I agree with you. Your friend really shouldn't be asking around for somebody to throw her a baby shower in the first place...be it baby #1 or #5. Then to have already registered for a bunch of new toys and stuff when she surely still has age appropriate toys from her previous kids....not cool.
I definitely say one shower per family. There are other ways to celebrate each child without hosting a shower. Many babies have christenings, etc. I even often send a present for each new baby in a family, but I think registering for gifts a second (or third or fourth) time around does come off as quite greedy. And yes, those of you who say every baby needs wipes and diapers are correct, but the parents did choose to have another baby, so I would hope that they can handle those expenses.
Well, you shouldn't ask someone to throw you a second baby shower. I'm in the one shower camp as well unless it's a second marriage/baby and the father's family hasn't celebrated his first child. I think a baby shower is a kind gesture, but when the second kid comes around the parents are responsible for necessities like diapers and all that. Although If the parents want to host a celebration party and invite their friends, no gifts, that's okay.
I have no issue with multiple baby showers for different babies. Now, I don't think it's entirely necessary if baby 1 and baby 2 are the same sex. I honestly would start buying diapers here and there once I found out I was pregnant, or put aside money that would go towards diapers, wipes, and formula at a later date. I plan on hanging onto a lot of the clothes.
However, if one is a boy and the other a girl, I see why there would be another, same with twins or more. Also, if there are several years between the children, think 5 or more, I can see why someone would want more than one.
I guess I don't understand why is it now expected for parents to even have one baby shower thrown for their child. I can understand if it's a surprise, but really, they took on that responsibility when they chose to have the child just the same as when they chose to get married. I don't mind the shower, I do mind the expectation for a shower. I agree that babies and marriages should be celebrated, but a party expected for every child kind of irratates me.
I don't have a problem with multiple showers either. I do hope that the mother would exercise some tact and some common sense when registering for gifts though and not make a list full of redundant items---but that's true of anyone registering for gifts, not just second- or third-time expectant moms. Maybe things are less redundant than you imagine, even with kids of the same sex all born relatively close together. If her other children are still very young, she might actually need another car seat, or a bigger stroller. And every kid is going to need disposable items like diapers.
If you feel uncomfortable about getting her more "things," then get her useful items like diapers, or a savings bond.
Honestly not trying to offend anyone but sometimes I think people are just being cheap. My coworker was just complaining to me that she has to buy a gift for a shower of a friend who already has 2 kids. Finally I told her if she didnt agree with her having a shower not to go & stop complaining about the money lol. I guess its just one of those things people need to agree to disagree,
I think its great to celebrate every child, and if it is offered by a family member or friend, I would graciously accept a shower even if it was my fifth child! However, after my first, I wouldn't register or ask for a shower - just kind of a "take what you can get" kind of thing. I also think that after the first child, big gifts like strollers and cribs shouldn't be expected, just some cute clothes, diapers, that kind of thing. I think it is kind of in poor taste that she is asking but I would give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that maybe she needs things, or maybe she is just really excited about this baby and didn't think about it.
I had always heard that it's one shower per family, but I don't mind having a small shower for each child. I'm with daniellemybelle. A huge shower is excessive in this case, especially since the mother is ASKING for one.
i think its fine to celebrate the arrival of every child, but i only give "shower" gifts once. I believe the point of a baby shower is to help set up the new parents. so after you have one baby, you should already have whatever they need, regardless of the sex. and frankly, i dont understand the point of the ritual after the first shower. how many times do we have to wrap toilet paper around your tummy?
to each their own i guess. but i only gift a family once - just like i only gift a married couple once. but thats just how my family does it.
I think a shower for the fist baby is all that is appropriate. I would honestly be embarassed and say no if a friend wanted to throw me a second shower. I think if a group of girlfriends wants to get together for lunch or tea that is one thing but to do the whole 'shower' thing with registries and a big guest list is a no-no.
@JamaicaBride: ditto
my sister just had her 6th kid, she will have a 6th shower because we want to celebrate my new niece, I don't see how that is a bad thing... every kid is something worth celebrating!
Ha, in my opinion that is like saying you shouldn't have more than 1 birthday party because its greedy...
First child and that is it.
My brother and I are 7 years apart (he was a complete surprise since my parents were told they could not have another) and they didn't get another shower.
What if your first child is a boy and your second child is a girl? (Or the other way around?) Many things aren't reusable.
Other - I don't care. Granted, the only people we know who've had them live far away so we weren't an issue that we weren't invited / didn't go. (and, um, not wanting a baby in the first place makes me even less invested in a baby shower) But, really, this is one of those "whatever people want to do" things as far as I'm concerned.
I think a mother should get one shower for their first child. If a family member offers a small celebratory gathering can be organized for the woman's pregnancies after the first child...I think this event should be very small and should be clear that presents are not necessary.
I do think a second shower may be appropriate if a family offers to do one because there is a large gap between kids, multiples are expected a second or more time around etc...
One shower is plenty, as most people don't give everything away when they're done using baby items, so should have plenty to use for a second or even third child. Most people will come to see the baby whether its in the hospital or at home and will bring a gift. Many people will also have a Baptism or Christening ceremony (and get even more gifts). If you have all the large pieces already,why would you possibly need or want more? If you haven't had to store all that stuff, you have no idea how much room it requires.
This multiple baby shower thing is a new phenomenon anyway. We (the older Moms) all had just one shower and managed to survive without other people spending all their money on us. We bought what we needed when we needed it, and would never expect anyone to 'shower us' once again.
I've already told my daughters not to expect more than one baby shower. We buy enough gifts already!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
Sorry, there are no users yet.
Sorry, there are no users yet.
