Post # 1
I was reading an older post about “young brides.” In the post, several bees commented that, although they were sure they wanted to marry their SO at a younger age (20-23ish), they waited (or wanted to wait) several years before the proposal and wedding.
I’m 22 and FI is 24. He works for the Dept. of Environmental Protection. I’m student teaching this spring and will graduate in May. We’ve been together for 6 1/2 years. I couldn’t imagine waiting any long to marry him! So my questions..
Bees who married young: why did you decided to NOT wait?
Bees who put off getting married: what influenced your decision? Did everything work out the way you planned?
Post # 3
I’ve been with my FI for 8 years, and we are getting married in another year and a half (so it will be about 9.5 years at that point).
We put it off because we weren’t in a rush. We like steps. Step 1: Graduate college. Step 2: Live on our own and support ourselves. Step 3: Move in together. Step 4: Get engaged. Step 5: Get married. Step 6: Buy a house. Step 7: Plant a garden and get a puppy. Step 8: Babies.
Plus, I wanted to wait to make any major life decisions until I was 26. Marriages that occur after 26 are more likely to succeed (statistically), as you brain continues to grow in your early 20s. After that, most people are pretty self assured with who they are, what they want, and where they want to be.
I don’t want to have any doubts and I want to give my marriage the best possible chance of succeeding.
Some facts to back up my argument: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce/all/1/
Post # 4
@OnceUponATime: I am not married yet, but will be 25 when I marry (close to turning 26). I don’t know if that’s considered average, or young, or even old :P…but it was just the way it worked out for us.
Our timeline is:
- Friends since 2005
- Became bf/gf on January 10th, 2009
- He proposed on August 9th, 2012
- We will get married on May 9th, 2014.
I guess you could say that we “waited” but it was mostly financial. I wanted to be married to this man since the second year in our relationship but we also wanted to take it slow to make sure that we didn’t fall “out of love” as we learned more about each other and ourselves.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
We didn’t really put off getting married, nor did we decide not to wait. We just picked the time that was best for us, financially, emotionally, etc. That happened to be me at 26 and him at 25.
Honestly, I wish we had married sooner in that I want to have 3 kids before 30 and now there’s not much time left. But at the same time, I know we’re getting married at the perfect time for us. So, whatever! LOL!
Post # 6
I’ll be 25, and no, I think my age is perfect.
Post # 7
I’ve been with my hubby for 7 years now but know him for 8 years. I always, even before i met him, wanted to get marry young like in my mid 20s because i wanted to start a family young. However, as the years went by and my hubby and i were having so much together in our own separate worlds, i realized i didn’t want to get married so young anymore, only because i then realized i wasn’t really ready for marriage and kids. I wanted to finish my carrer, which i did, i wanted to pay off my own debts, which i did and i wanted to just have fun with him, without having too much responsibility. I am glad i waited. We moved in together when i was 28, he proposed when i was 29 and got married in April, just a few months after i turned 30 and now i am ready to start ttc. It worked out for me and I don’t regret it. I see some of my friends that actually got married young and had kids in a young age and always wonder of all the things they didn’t get to do before commiting. I am glad i don’t have to wonder. GL and follow your heart. Age is just a number at the end! 🙂
Post # 8
My wedding is in two months. I’ll be 21 on the day, but I turn 22 a couple of months later.
We aren’t waiting because neither of us wants to live together before we get married- both for religious reasons and because we want to start our life together (home, finances, bills, etc) as a married couple. We felt like if we moved in together and started acting like a married couple, it wouldn’t really feel much different after the wedding itself.
We’ll also have been together nearly five years by that time. We just don’t want to wait anymore, and we are finally in a place where we are certainly ‘poor’ but we’re more or less financially stable. And it ends up costing less to live together.
Post # 9
DH and I were both (and still are) 28 🙂
Post # 10
I am/was 24 and DH was 27.
Post # 11
Well I was 26 when we met, turned 27 shortly after that, and we got engaged two months before I turned 28. I’ll be 2 weeks shy of turning 29 when we get married. I actually would have wanted to get married a little earlier, like 26 or 27, so we could have a few years together without worrying about fertility and having kids. Obviously it didn’t work out that way since we didn’t meet until my ideal age for marriage. I suppose I wouldn’t have wanted to get married or be ready for marriage before 24 or so, just because I still had some growing up to do.
Post # 12
I was 29, DH was 33. I was never the type to be dependent on a man, and I never had a strong desire to start a family, so the timing was fine for us.
I also had several good friends have kids and/or get married really young and most of those relationships did not last. I guess maybe that sorted of tainted my views of the “fairlytale” type life in my younger years.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.
I was 23, but had supported myself since I was 18 and lived alone (no roommates) for 3 years before we moved in together. I think the important things are to know:
- who you are,
- what you want,
- and how to live independently.
Some people take their time with those things, others don’t. I think it also depends on your partner, and where they are in life (and with the list above). Mr. Aardvark was 32 when we got married. He took longer to sort himself out as an “adult” and it was lucky for me (us) that we met at a time when we were both on the same page as far as what we wanted in life/when we wanted it.
Best of luck to you and your SO . And remember, nobody knows the inner workings of a relationship except the people who are in it, so while other’s advice or stories are valuable, ultimately you have to do what works for YOU! 🙂
Post # 14
I’ll be 21, fresh out of college. I just don’t see the point in waiting any longer than I need to. We waited until we felt like it was responsible, but not any longer. We also would prefer to wait until we’re married to live together (or close… like January/February of 2014 with the wedding in May).
Post # 15
I got married at 25. I wish I would have waited until I was well into my 30’s so I had a chance to grow, and become who I wanted to become as a person and with my career.
Post # 16
I’ll be 26. Looking back at the “perfect, OMG let’s get married” relationship I had with my ex, I would have easily have gotten married at 20… and rightly divorced at 22. What shimmers at 20 is certainly not the same after college and real life settles.