Weddingbee boards

I am a big fan of this post...

 I am the WORST fighter ever and my fiance is the BEST fighter ever. I get so loud and emotional. It drives him nuts. He is so sweet and calmly thinks about EVERYTHING he says before he says it. I admire that quality in him so much. I have been trying reallly hard, and our fights have definitely been better. We rarely fight, so I always feel bad when we do (especially if I blow up). He is so patient with me. :)

Definitely a yeller and a crier. I cry at the drop of a hat. It's embarrassing and I do end up crying at the most inappropriate situations, but I can't stop it.

 We both have learned to fight more "fairly" though and it has helped our relationship. No bringing up past incidences which we have agreed to forgive each other for.

I'm a crier, but not so much a yeller.  I want things to be resolved fairly quickly or I sit and fume and only get angrier, and FI wants to walk away so he doesn't say something he regrets and calms down.  (Often to the point where he doesn't think we need to talk about it!  argh.)  Definitely need for a compromise.  But we've had several good talks on how we handle conflict and why, so it's something we're working on.

first, i have to agree... AWESOME POST caliocteach!!!

i'm actually a morphing fighter...
first, i scream and b*tch and rant till my face turns blue and my face looks like a waterfall of tears. and then when we've beaten the argument to death, i begin to simmer down and just "fight" calmly and quietly-- imagine saying fighting words in the most monotone voice on earth! i think at this point, FH thinks i'm bipolar or something! hehe

I'm quiet and hate confrontation. I get frustrated and retreat, and try not to cry, and it sucks. Then I get mad at myself and have the fight over again in my head where I make all the wonderful points and win b/c I actually speak up for myself.

Crier.  I hate it.  I cry when something is emotional, be it something happy or sad.

We try to use the Discussion Wheel in fights (a tool we learned in pre-marital counseling, you state 1. What you heard 2. What you interpret that to mean 3. How you feel about that 4. What you want to get out of this fight and 5. What you're willing to do to get what you want.)... he is MUCH better than I am at it. I try to be calm and reasonable, but occasionally I will fly off the handle, and he has to talk me down again, or we go on self-inflicted "time-outs" so we don't speak harshly. Both of us have had family history with verbal abuse, so we really try to stay away from yelling and name-calling.