I would say there is no etiquette here! You should get whatever you want!! You deserve it! ...and those 4 years do not make you old, silly!
As another old married lady (LOL - 6 years) I say go with the ring that makes you happy, you love pear halo so get it. Remember everybody's (who stays married) engagement ring becomes an old married lady's ring. :)
My mom just got engaged and originally she wanted something super out of the box, but she ended up going with a classic three stone ring. I don't think you'll regret it if you go for what's in your heart. (No etiquette, by the way!)
If you never had an engagement ring proper, then I say it's about time! Get a set, get that pear halo with a matching band and rock it if it will make you happy! :)
Aww thanks bees! I will definitely ask DH for what i want then - glad there are no rules!! :)
I say get whatever makes your heart sing! There are no rules, so get what it is you love.
My MIL (a very classy, traditional, upper class lady) got her "engagement" ring on their 25th wedding anniversary. Before that she just wore a band.
If 25 years ain't too many for an e-ring, 4 years sure as heck aren't either! So when will you be posting photos of your pear?
Girl we didn't have much money either with 2 small kids 15 years ago and hubby just doubled the size of my center stone for our 15th anniversary! You can do whatever you want and enjoy every second of it! And don't forget to post pics lol
Whatever style you like! I hate how jewelry stores label rings as engagement, anniversary, right hand, etc. If I like the way a ring looks I'll get it for whatever occasion (and finger) I damn well please.
I agree you should get whatever you've been yearning for. If it were me, I'd go big and splurge on a engagement-y type ring this time, then add to the ring for future anniversaries. 
Anything you want! Get the set if that's what makes you happy!
I voted for a three-stone. Those are meant to symbolize your past, present, and future. So I think that fits well!
The first rule of anniversary rings is...there are no rules! Lol. I definetly think you should get what you want!
This is what dh gave me for our 1st anniversary,
And this is what dh got me for our 5th anniversary
I don't think there should be any rules about jewelry whatsoever. Get what you like! In your case I would probably say get the engagement ring/wedding band combo you never had but if you have something else in mind go for that! No rules!
I voted for the bridal set because that seems like what you want. But you can get whatever you want.
@mrshunnybunches: are you going to be replacing what you are wearing on your ring finger or adding to it?
i think you should get whatever you like and whatever you can afford.
You should get whatever ring strikes you as the one! It doesn't matter that you've been married 4 years. It's still your wedding ring! If you had gotten it 4 years ago you'd still be wearing it now anyways! get your dream ring girl!
There's definitely no ettique! Get what you LOVE that in your price range. And post pictures when you get it 
You should get whatever you want!
My parents bought matching simple gold bands when they got married. It took her about 25 years to get a diamond ring, and it was a 1920s art deco ring from a pawn shop, but it's very beautiful. It's definitely an engagement ring, and she wears it alone.
Get whatever speaks to you! :)
@valintine: Our anniversary is is June, so I won't get it until then. :) I have been lusting after This for awhile!
@mypinkshoes: I don't wear a ring right now. :)
Okay I am passing the link on to DH! We shall see what happens!
I think you should get whatever you want, especially since you've never had a ring. DH got me a 3-stone "anniversary" ring instead of an "engagement" ring because that's what he thought would look best (I love it). You could definitely get the pear "engagement" ring you never had! And a wedding band too, if you want it!
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So, our 4th anniversary is in about six months, and I finally get a ring. Yay! We were very poor when we got engaged, so I never got an engagement ring, let alone a decent wedding band.
Sooo what kind of ring is appropriate for an old married lady? ;) I absolutely love pear halo rings, but I feel like I should try to avoid a ring that looks "engagment-y," and I should go for a three stone ring, or just a band with diamonds. I'm at a loss - what the proper etiquette? Any suggestions?