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We wanted good quality time with the people closest to us vs running from guest to guest that we haven't seen in years in some cases. Planning is easier, plus we get to have a nice vacation with our close family and friends. The reactions were mixed, but when people got that this is really what we wanted and made us happy, it worked out fine. You do have to be understanding and flexible though, because many will not be able to make it! (for us, it's a plus, but we're not traditional...)
We decided to do a destination wedding b/c I have always wanted to get married on the beach and my fiance always wanted a private wedding. Both sets of parents are understanding but my siblings...not so much.
I have posted about this a little bit in other posts...but I almost lost my FI to cancer and although we have kids (2 for him, 1 for me), we sheltered them from the worst of it. It was he and I up all night crying and praying and just trying to keep each others spirits up so we very much wanted to take this step into marriage on our own. He seriously thought about stopping treatment and so I made him a promise that if he would stay and fight for me, for us...that I would let him plan our day anyway he wanted to...and here he is cancer free...and here we are getting married in Jamaica next month....and I have some vows to write =)
Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was on board! We had only a few people that couldn't make it that we really wanted to be there...so it was definitely a success all around for us!
Our families were all for it. Most of them have already booked their trips and the wedding isn't until April. I think they all needed a vacation and we gave them a good excuse for it!
We wanted a small, intimate ceremony plus we love to travel so the two went hand in hand for us. We are only inviting 30 people of the 200 family and friends we have. Immediate family and close friends are way excited and the other 170 are happy just as long as we do an at home reception when we get back.
Great post! We decided to have a destination wedding for several reasons. First, my dream has always been to get married on the beach and luckily my F is all for it. Secondly, FH and his entire family is from the UK and of course we are from the US so we thought it would be a great middle ground for all of us. Lastly, we can get so much more for our money by having a weddingmoon 
My family all knew that was my dream so they were expecting it. FI family was happy with it. We know many ppl wont be able to attend so we plan to have AHR's (nothing super expensive or wedding like more like a beach themed party) in both the US and UK so that makes everyone happy.
Originally our plan was to have a private DW, just us with an AHR to follow... we were met with some whining "You can't run off and get married alone, we want to be there for your shindig" was one of the quotes. We decided to include our family and friends, with the clear understanding it would be impossible for some to attend due to child care/distance/expense etc. In the end, we have 33 near and dear joining us. I'm sad to say some close family members are not coming that I expected, but we're delighted to have some other sweet friends I never considered would come. You can not please everyone, so you are best to do what's right for the two of you...
@JamaicaBride - that is one amazing story and you two deserve the wedding of your dreams! : )
We decided on a DW for a variety of reasons: Neither one of us wanted a big wedding and DWs by default often end up small and intimate. We live in Los Angeles too and when I started looking into venues and vendors, I was shocked by the expense - the minimums alone dictated a larger wedding simply because we would have had to invite more people to make it worth our while. We both love to travel and we both agreed that our dream wedding would be at our favorite hotel in Puerto Rico. When I found out that everything there was so much cheaper, the decision was made.
Family and friends responded really well when it was still kind of up in the air and some were so excited we even tried to plan it at a time that would be convenient for them. But when it became a reality, many of those people decided not to come. Like BeachyBride2010 said, there are a few close family/friends that aren't going to be there because they didn't want to go to our destination, but on the other hand, we have some that are truly making the extra effort to be there.
We always wanted to get married somewhere warm, preferably on an island, but we also love Mexico. So we decided on Cozumel, the best of both worlds! I am very excited that all of his family and several of our closest friends have verbally confirmed. Most of them see this as a vacation.
However, my extended family (aunts, grandparents, cousins) have not been as positive and understanding as his family. They are more conservative and don't understand why we can't just get married back in my hometown, which is 5 hours from my FH's hometown. So if did choose somewhere in Iowa one or both families would have to travel. We just are asking they travel somewhere further and warmer! We understand that some of my family members have different financial and health reasons they cannot attend. We are trying to be understanding but putting it in perspective that this is our wedding and we are doing what makes us happy!
I want a destination wedding because I don't want anyone to come! Hahahaha. It's sad, I know, but true. It's just that our family is from different countries and no matter what country we pick, someone will be inconvenienced! Airfare is about $1000 and that doesn't include accomodations. We want a small, simple wedding anyway, so I'd feel horrible for someone to come and yet the wedding is just so simple.
I'm stuck on Hawaii - it's in the USA, so no extra paperwork is needed to marry there. It's a beach wedding and the Fi's never been there and although I've been there twice, I've only gone solo.
I don't want anyone to come or it will defeat the purpose of going there for me. But the Fi doesn't want to keep it secret either ... which is where the new problem has popped-up: since I started telling friends, they're all excited about it and want to come! It's much closer than where we are now (where we were going to have it). I'm afraid his parents will react the same way and would want to come as well ... and so does my family. If we did that, then it would just be overly pricey for everyone involved --- what we really want to avoid in the first place (especially in this economy).
My mother said that our destination wedding was much more stress free than my brother's Boston wedding. In fact, we were all having cocktails at the wetbar just before we had to get ready for the wedding. That is relaxation!
Ours is kinda funny.
We HAD to have a destination wedding because for just about everybody attending, it WILL ALREADY BE a destination wedding! lol!
So they're all on board except for a few of my coworkers. They won't let off more than 2 at a time for a weekday but some could come on a friday (taking friday off) and others could take monday off.
We also wanted a destination that was accessible for either plane or car, after all this is a recession, and wanted to give them the feel of the tropics and provide a really fun weekend for all!
It will be incredibly fun and I can say this. My FI is so into planning because he is so digging the idea of our beach bbq rehersal dinner and all the fun stuff we've planned! He even talked me into using the church sanctuary for the ceremony vs. the beach as I had wanted! He's totally stoked about wedding planning.
We chose it b/c we got engaged there, and our family doesn't live close to us. Something about the island just felt magical and right, and when you get that kind of feeling, you want to hold on to it and share it with those closest to you. We were met with mostly enthusiasm.. some family members tried to give a little grief, but to be honest, that didn't flap either of us at all. We had an intimate, fun, perfect wedding and everybody there was someone very supportive and wonderful. DW's kind of weed out the people just coming for the free meal, you know?
We choose a DW for many of the reasons everyone has already mentioned:
1) Always wanted a small intimate ceremony
2) Didn't want the hassels of planning a 200+ person wedding, which is what it would have been if we didn't go DW
3) Wanted to share the memories of our wedding with our absolute closest friends and family - and dedicate time to hanging out with just them on our day.
4) Didn't want to get bogged down the whole night chatting/saying "hi" to people we weren't close to
3) Getting a honeymoon included which is amazing because it's actually brought the total cost down since we're getting married at our honeymoon spot
4) We get a wedding planner with our DW package, which brings even the stresses of planning a DW down!
Both of our families were totally cool with it. We are hosting an informal At Home Reception a month or so after the wedding. My fiance's extended family is pretty huge where mine is just my immediate family who will be at the wedding, so this way they'll still feel somewhat included!
We are a semi-destination (US location, in state), but for us we chose based on three things:
1) WE love the location.
2) Neither of us is from the town we now call home, and there is nothing significant about a ceremony here (no local church, no special location). Our courtship was really on the other side of the country.
3) About 80% of our guests are out of state anyways, so asking them to fly to our home city wasn't much more convenient than asking them to drive farther to our destination location.
The only people who were miffed were the few people who live in Sac and don't like driving. It may also upset a few people later when they find out how far the drive is from any airport (3 hours minimum). I am working to prevent this by playing up the sights along the way (the drive is either 3 hours through the Sonoma wine country then the redwoods OR 5 hours along famed Hwy 1 up the dramatic California coast). I don't feel that bad because as long as they drive in daylight, it is really hard to not enjoy this drive.
Yay Destination Brides-to-be!!!
Like most of you we decided to have a destination wedding because (1) we want to go away and have friends and family that can make it spend a couple days celebrating our love and having a great time! (2) I really didn't want to deal with any family drama (although there still is family drama no matter what, right?!) like, 'don't sit this person next to this person because they've had bad blood for 25 years..blah blah blah' and (3) it's totally our style....laid back and having fun!
We chose a DW because we wanted what DreamComeTrue labeled as a "weddingmoon". Our families were on board for the idea because they are really into having a good time, whatever the occasion. We are planning a small get together with family and friends who can't make the trek at a swanky downtown loft. We wanted to go with the whole lounge theme and bring in rented furniture, music and a bartender to complete the venue. We have both had some tragedies in our families and we really wanted it to be time for everyone to enjoy themselves and have a good time. MY FH and I are providing the airfare and all they need to do is book the accomodations. I can't wait, we are going to have a party")
We will be having a DW to keep it small. My fiance's parents divorced when he was very young, and although his parents are pleasant to each other, he has had a lifetime of choosing between one side of the family or the other for holidays, special events, etc., and it has taken a toll on him trying to please everyone. If everyone whom he felt obligated to invite were invited, our guest list would be astronomical. So immediate family plus one friend (I lobbied for this because my family is very small and my best friend is like my sister) will be the invite list for the wedding, which will be somewhere in the southeastern US coast or in the Caribbean. We are planning to have one or two parties when we return, very casual affairs that absolutely everyone is invited to.
I will admit to being a little disappointed, only because my family and friends list is pretty small (47 including spouses and children, and even then not all will be able to come), and I was hoping to be able to invite them all to my wedding. But it isn't worth putting my sweet fiance through the emotional tug-of-war.
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....how was the idea recieved by your family/friends?