What Made You Want Kids?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Finding out that I might never have them. There’s nothing like finding out that the choice has been pretty much taken away from you to make you realize that you might want something.

I have never been the “always wanted kids” kind of person, I was always more of the opposite.

Post # 4
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Having neices and nephews and growing close with those kids made me want my own

Post # 5
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I grew up my entire life saying I DIDN’T want children. Maybe because I had to grow up really fast and practically raise my own brother.. I don’t know…but I was really dead-set on not having them. I did not like them. Didn’t find them cute. Could be 100% happy with a hubby and a dog. I had this attitude that I did not want a child coming between myself and my partner.

I met my DH in highschool and when we were about 22-23 something “went off” in me. I swear to god, there is something inside of women that just clicks one day, and your body says, “have babies! babies are cute! YOU  MUST HAVE BABIES!!” That biological urge, plus being with my DH, who I never thought I would find, made me want babies.

Being that these were very strange feelings for me, I took a while to adjust to the thought that I actually wanted kids.

I actually was in denial for quite a while that I even felt that way.. lol

Baby-fever hit me hard, and after MUCH waiting and sulking to DH about wanting a baby, I got pregnant at 24 🙂

Mothering is by far one thing that I am better at than anything else in my life. I just find it so funny that the one thing I swore I would never want (children) is what makes my life the happiest. I am fulfilled with my roll as “mommy.” I fit into the role naturally…something I never expected! I never question why I had kids (even when she’s destroying my house and testing my patience).  I don’t miss my life without my DD. It’s exhausting, challenging and stressful, but I went into motherhood with the mindset that I was going to be the best mom possible, and I’m trying my best to be that.

Post # 6
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

At about 17-18, my body clicked, and I wanted a baby so bad. I’d almost tear up thinking about getting pregnant and seeing moms/babies, kid pictures on facebook, etc. Biological clock got started a little early.

When my FI and I moved in together about a year ago, this went away completely. I was loving being an adult with responsibilities only to myself, my FI, our animals, and my job. It was fantastic. I could put my elbows on the table and pick at my food, and I didn’t have to be a positive role model for anyone. We could go out of town last minute and spend all of our grocery money on eating out, and no harm was done to a child! (Obviously, we don’t make all of these decisions all the time, but the freedom was exhilirating.)

A few days ago at work, I was talking with coworkers about how much maternity leave we were allowed, and I had just gotten through telling her how it was not a big deal anyway, because we definitely weren’t having kids for a long, long, time, because we were enjoying just being young together…..and WHAM. It hit again. At 22, I am officially back in the throws of baby fever. 

Admittedly I’m young, and I’ve always kind of figured I’d have kids, but at this point in my life, my hormones are running this show. Since I had that conversation at work, I’ve just had this longing, visceral feeling in the pit of my stomach. My biological clock is back with an effing vengeance. 

It was so bad, and so sudden, that my first thought was “Oh my god, what if I’m pregnant and subconsciously I know it somehow, and I’m feeling guilty for just telling so-and-so that I didn’t want kids for a long time?” So I took a pregnancy test. Negative! My hormones are just driving me nuts. 

Post # 8
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Stephville:  Haha, now I’m glad I’m not the only one! I feel like the wanting/not wanting kids is totally out of my control…. I’m hoping it settles down at some point. We’re waiting until the wedding, too. We keep saying we’ll figure it out then, if we still want them…lol.

Not only are we month twins, but also, it looks like you’re a destination bride? Me too! Not Vegas, though, Jamaica 🙂

Post # 9
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m kind of waiting around for that feeling to hit. Right now I love my simple life with DH, the cats, and I. I don’t want things to change, priorities to be different, etc. I see other people’s kids and think, “awwww how nice for them.” In the way way way way back of my mind I think it would be nice to have kids someday, DH and I discuss names sometimes, but that day is years away.

Sometimes I get a little bummed that I’m not like, “zomg babies!!1!” and wonder if something’s wrong. I figure it will click sometime down the road, when we’re ready. I’m interested to read the replies, and see if there’s anyone like me that finally had it click.

 

Post # 10
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@orchidaloha:  That did it for me as well.  It has happened to me twice.  The first time was when my ex husband and I were still married and he decided he no longer wanted any children; we ultimately got divorced because I absolutely wanted at least one child.  The second time happened when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and I was worried about the effect of the procedure on my ability to have children in the future.

I am with PPs that it comes and goes.  Sometimes I am a bit baby crazy and ready to have one and then a few days or weeks later I am thankful that I don’t have children and I have the freedom to do whatever I want.  My D Day for a final decision is when I turn 35 which is 5 and a half years away; plenty of time to get ready for a child.

Post # 11
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I switch back and forth on it. Some days I want them, other days I’m happy to be able to drop everything and go out on the town if I want!

I am starting to want to more and more though, as my parents get older. They were older when I was born, and I didn’t grow up with grandfathers (one died shortly before I was born, the other when I was 3). I didn’t know anything different, but I’d like for my kids to know my parents.

Post # 12
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

@beachbride1216:  It’s a strange feeling the way something like that can change your mind hey?! I was sure I didn’t want kids, then I found out that my ex husband had a vasectomy and it was like all the concerns about our marriage that I already had didn’t matter, all I cared about was the ability to have a child and he took it away from me. I left him almost right away. With my fiance we have some fertility struggles and it’s just another reminder that I do want one child.. I would be happy living our lives without any but one would be nice.

I’m sorry to hear that you had cancer. Are you ok now?

Post # 13
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@orchidaloha:  My doctor is pretty sure he got everything but I have to go back next month for a checkup and possible biopsy to make sure he got it all.

Post # 15
Member
2690 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I am one of those people who always wanted to be a mom… BUT while in high school, that kinda changed.  I still wanted kids but I was so focused on my future goals, it was not something I thought about.  It wasn’t until I met dh (in hs) that things started coming back.  We both wanted kids…we both wanted a big family… we just wanted all the same things and then baby fever hit BIG time. 

So I guess even though I always wanted kids and knew some day I would, it was meeting my dh that set things in motion for me.  we would talk about it all the time and we just knew…

Post # 16
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think, for me, it is biological urge (kicked in around age 27) combined with social signals (wanting the experience of raising a child, and i’m sure friends starting to have kids now that i’m turning 30 has had some effect).

I have moments of “must procreate NOW” followed by moments of “Hell to the no, no children please, I have way too much to accomplish and see still!”. It’s very confusing, and kind of disconcerting. I’m a little worried that those feelings won’t go away after we do have a kid. I think the “must procreate NOW” urges are primarily biologically driven. The “hell to the no” is probably driven by economics (daycare is $1800++ a month here, and we probably will never be able to afford more than a 2 bedroom, and need high level professional jobs to even sustain that – it’s a lot of pressure!).

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