Post # 1
A lot of times I find myself disagreeing with the dresses that get the majority votes in dress polls – I know I don’t have the most keen eye for fashion, but it does make me wonder just how off base I am, hahaha…
I’m curious, what do you think makes a dress look good (in general)?
I feel like we talk a lot about finding a dress that “flatters your figure”, but that almost always seems to translate (to put it bluntly) into “makes you look skinnier” or “makes your waist look smaller.”
I think I first noticed this when I posted a bunch of dresses I had tried on. Some that got a lot of attention, I didn’t feel were a good style for my body – but the available samples were a size 8 instead of the 10 that really fit me, so my waist looked itty-bitty in them. Everyone kept saying how skinny I looked in them – but if I had tried on the same dress in the appropriate size (one where I could breath, and bend at the waist), it wouldn’t have looked like that at all. The reaction I was getting had less to do with the style of the dress and more with the fact that I was sausage-stuffed into it!
I don’t mean this to be an offensive or rude question – I am genuinely curious to hear what you think about what makes something flattering. Please keep the discussion polite, and remember the subject at hand is VERY subjective to opinion, so there won’t be a right or wrong answer. 🙂
Post # 3
I don’t think that it’s necessarily “skinnier” that’s as important as proportional. Although most brides want to appear as thin as possible and although you can certainly highlight favorite feature, I think that the primary concern is (or should be) that one’s weight distribution appears to be balanced. Perhaps that’s why there was a lot of focus on your waist–an hourglass figure IS balanced, after all.
Also, in your case–and I’m not disagreeing with you per se, but I did want to point out that a lot of times we all come at dressing with preconceived notions about our bodies and what our “flaws” are–and oftentimes, no one else notices these flaws at all. So it’s possible that you got a different response than you anticipated simply because you had different expectations than a stranger who sees you more objectively.
BUT in the end, while we all have our likes and dislikes–some love ballgowns, some love lace, and on and on, the real answer to your question is what makes a dress look good is when it’s the right dress on the right girl. And that’s an unpredictable alchemy of her body shape, her personal style, AND her personality. Sometimes that comes across so well in a photograph that people get it immediately. But sometimes, it’s just not that easy to tell because a) we don’t know you and b) we’re not seeing the garment in person. So take the advice you get from Weddingbee with a grain of salt. Everyone has your best interest at heart, and we WILL tell you when somethings not doing you justice. But if YOU’RE not comfortable in something we happen to like, then we’re simply wrong. You’ll know when you’ve got something that gives you a little kick–it may not be weepy tears, but it will at least be a little brightening up.
Post # 4
I don’t want to sound generic, but I think what makes a dress look good is -when a woman is comfortable in it. Some might call it confidence. A look like she can wear it like she has had it on all day and it just naturally looks right for her. It just naturally looks good. Confidence is what looks best. If a bride looks comfortable, I think that is what matters.
Post # 5
@JennyW1: You said it great.
The only thing I can really add is that when you ask a lot of people you may get a lot of answers. If there is a general consensus you have to remember that we don’t know all the details such as
1) What is your style. What would people expect to see you in.
2) As you pointed out, what is the sample size?
3) We have our own opninions. I dont like pick-ups and dont care for shiny dresses. I tend not to like the “average” wedding dress because they all look the same to me. However, given that, its you that makes a dress. The dress doesnt make you.
And you are right, to look skinnier is what most brides tend to look for. If your goal is to look like your boobs are larger or to hide your arms, etc it would help to let everyone know what you want. Otherwise we will project what we would want on you.
Post # 6
I kind of agree, but for my own personal dress search. It’s hard because of course I love the dress that made me look skinny, but then after I slept on it, objectively, I realize the dress itself is not what I am looking for, but I felt like a million bucks in it. It’s really hard to figure out what is right because other styles where I objectively like the dress itself better haven’t looked as good. I don’t know how I’m supposed to choose. Maybe someone answering your question can clue me in, too!
Post # 7
I just thought the same thing about picking the dress that is the most “flattering” and relating it to the one that makes you look the skinniest. Personally I pick the dress that I think looks the prettiest, which usually means in my taste, less beading, usually. Everyone has different taste but I try to be honest, and pick the dress that accentuates the good and minimizes the not so good. In the end the bride is the only one that matters and she should pick the dress she loves no matter what, because if not I think it would lead to dress regret.
Post # 8
I want to add something. I don’t think it should be a compromise between a pretty dress and looking great. The right dress will fill both those requirements.
Post # 9
Good question! I almost always go for ballgowns, so if there’s a dress poll between a ballgown and another shape, I usually don’t vote becuase I know my poofy prejudice :).
I think a lot of it has to do with a person’s style and preference. I tried on a mermaid that did amazing things for my body, but it just wasn’t what I wanted. Part of it is how we think we look in it, no one would get a dress they think they look awful in, but I still think most of it is personal style.
Post # 10
I think that the dress trends now are made to enhance a girls figure. They can be an aid for a women who is not confident in how she looks. I think sometimes their is too much for some women and proably not enough for others. As they say though, the girl is supposed to wear the dress, not the dress wear the girl. So it has to be the girl in the dress that makes the dress beautiful.
Post # 11
I try not to but probably do let my own dress preferences influence me a bit. I HATE being tightly constricted around my chest/lungs. I wore a tight boned strapless dress as a BM and had to have someone undo my dress every 30-40 minutes so I could breathe easier. the dress wasn’t tailored too tight, I’m just really intolerant of boning and uncomfortableness. when I see some tight mermaid or corset styles on the bee, I just think about how miserable I’d be wearing that dress all night. personally, I’m looking for a dress with less structure and preferably with some sort of straps (but maybe I’ll be eating my words soon when I really start dress shopping). when I see dresses that fit that description here I usually vote for them. but if the girl is clearly going for a different look, I try to take cues from what she wrote and how she looks in each dress to vote for the dress that will make her the happiest.
Post # 12
@lefeymw: i totally agree. i found some dresses that my friend kept saying “it makes you look so thin!” but it just wan’t for me nor did i find the dress that spectacular. i also found some dresses i loved, but did not love the way my butt or hips looked (too big). so when i found MY dress, i absolutely thought the dress it couldn’t be more gorgeous AND i felt beautiful (and yes for me that partly mean skinny) in it 🙂
i was extra careful because MY dress was actually the second one i bought. the first one was from the first store i went to on a special trip to NYC. i remember i fell in love that day because all the dresses i tried on, i felt so fat and gross, until that one and so i thought it was the one. later on of course, i couldn’t get over plain the dress was but i never thought i didn’t look good. so i had to sell it and start over.
Post # 13
I have personally found there are so many different dynamics involved in making a dress ‘suit’ you, like; material. colour, cut of the dress etc. As JennyW1 says, you’ll know when you’ve found the one.
Post # 14
I think for me, part of what made me feel good was having a dress that fit my style, and fit the vintage kind of look I was going for with my wedding. The dress I bought was a satin, slim A-line, when I think I might have objectively looked best in something that was more classically A-line and that was less shiny. I loved the style of the dress too much, though, to pick something instead that might have made me look a little thinner.
Post # 15
@ddw: Thank you, I feel the exact same way! On any given dress poll here two things are almost always certain 1. The dress that looks most form-fitting and clings to the girls’ body in the pic will win 80% + of the time 2. I will disagree with the majority 80% + of the time. So many times I’ve thought “yeah it shows off she has a tiny waist but it also looks like she wrapped a bedsheet around herself”. I’ve learned to take those polls with a grain of salt in time. I think most girls reflect their own body image issues onto their opinions and will like the most slimming dress; and not take other things into considerations such as how unique the dress is, quality of the fabric, the glamour factor, the possibly misleading angle of the photos, and that a dress will look totally different than the photo after alterations! Any dress can be altered to be figure flattering. Most of the time we’re asked to choose between photos of dresses that are five sizes too big, two feet too long, taken in poor lighting, showing the body from one angle only. I think the photos depict a very insufficient picture to draw conclusions from. Bees’ opinions and polls are fun, but I would never make a dress choice based on that.
Post # 16
I’ve seen pics of the dress I will be wearing on various other women. Sadly, some of the dresses are not altered or are poorly altered. Sadly, a beautiful dress if altered poorly will result in an overall frumpy look.