(Closed) What more can I do? Help

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Can you talk to him and explain you don’t have the same relationship with his sister like you do with your friends? He should be able to understand that.  If I were you, I’d invite my FSIL but not bend to her will.  Don’t plan things around her, it’s your day.

Post # 5
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Honestly, it seems there are two issues tangled up to look like one. First issue, your FI is siding with his family over you. Marriage is a union. The two of you of become one. And sooner or later, it’s just the two of you against the world.(Sorry, if that sounds dramatic.) He needs to be ready to put you above all others. Second issue, your FSIL is used to getting her way.  She is doing what she wants.  Maybe you could tell her nicely that you would like for her to wear flats to the ceremony and pictures.  Once the reception starts she could change to flip flops or whatever she prefers.

The first issue is the important one to talk about before saying “I do”, though.  Is he ready to be in this union, where you both put each other first?

Post # 6
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Also, I feel like the issue of FI telling you you can not take a photo without including his sister is rediculous. It sounds very controlling of him to say no to a photo with your friends. Of course, I don’t know the whole story but hello, you will have so many wedding photos, it seems silly to not be able to take one with your friends. Just tell him you want a photo with your friends and it has nothing to do with excluding his sister.

Your statement that if his sister is more important, maybe you need to reconsider the wedding really stood out. You clearly feel like something is wrong. Talk to him and see where he’s coming from. Sometimes boys don’t realize they are putting you second and maybe a discussion will bring your feelings to light.

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