- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
I just got off the phone with my Fiance who is upset because he is being put in the middle between myself and his mother.
I have tried my hardest to rant to my Maid/Matron of Honor when my Future Mother-In-Law has been driving me bonkers, but Fiance is aware of some of the things she has done that is bothering me. The big ones including:
– telling Fiance and I to plan the wedding as we see fit (FIs parents were not paying anything), then one week before we go to meet with our caterer she tells us we can’t do a buffet reception. FIs parents pay the difference between doing a buffet and seated dinner. Which is fine, but I had already spent 2 months planning a buffet and she didn’t understand why I was upset.
– going and meeting with my vendors without telling me and BEFORE I was able to meet with them.
– insulting the church I chose for our ceremony (see post in etiquette “If you have nothing nice to say”)
– criticism every step of the way, which she claims is her “trying to help” there is a difference between offering ideas and offering what you want to get done and getting upset/insulted when I disagree.
Despite all of this, I have been diligent with keeping her in the loop of relevant details, running things by her first etc. I’ve communicated with her more than I have my own Fiance and my Aunt (who is my mother figure).
There have been certain elements I haven’t spoken to her about with respect to the ceremony, as the ceremony is very important to me and I have a very definite vision. Fiance agrees with my vision. I know FIs parents will not, but I’m not going to change my mind so I have chosen not to discuss it because it’ll just end up in an argument.
Yet, she apparently has been chirping to Fiance how she “feels completely out of the loop on everything”. WTH!!!!! What else can I do for pete’s sake. I understand it is her first son’s wedding, but as my Maid/Matron of Honor says … she crossed a line way back. There is being involved and then there is trying to run the show. And I’m sorry, son or not, this is OUR WEDDING. She already had hers … we don’t have the same taste in decorations and vision. Tough s***, again … OUR WEDDING.
I have to meet with her tomorrow at the reception venue. So help me if she brings up floral decorations again (which I have told her numerous time I am not doing, I HATE floral decorations), or tries to get me to use these second hand hideous chair covers that are too large and have a wrong colour sash (my wedding colours are brown, blue and cream … seat covers are white with burgundy sash that the best man had bought for his wedding that was two weeks ago). I will scream.
At this point, for my own sanity and my relationship with Fiance, I don’t want to talk anymore details … the big things are sorted out, and she pretty much decided all of it. The minor details still need to get figured out, but Fiance and I can do it … I can’t deal with anymore criticism/fighting. “Helpful” or not.