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Can you say something like, "Wow! Great dresses! I'm just worried they are a little too form-fitting for my conservative relatives/inlaws/pastor/church/etc."
Then maybe offer to find a really inexpensive BM dress and suggest that they wear the BM dress with the option of changing into their dresses after the ceremony?
Are you sure the dresses they were in are the right size and not sample sizes? If you bought from a bridal shop I'm sure the girls were squeezed into whatever size they had.
If not, and that's what they want to wear- I would let them (but I would ask they have them altered so they fit right). I don't think putting plus size girls in larger dresses really hides anything- I think it's great they have the confidence to be proud of their figures- plus- to smooth them out you gift them spanx a girls best friend. Goodluck!
You knew their sense of style when you decided to let them choose their own dresses, so I think you're just going to have to deal with it. Of course, you could tell them that you've decided that you want them to wear specific dresses, then pick them out and pay for them yourselves.
Thanks for the help ladies! The spanks is a GREAT IDEA. And thanks Rosychickelt! That 2 dresses is good, that way they can wear whatever they want after the pictures
The other thing is I am paying for the dresses and ever since my FSIL found out, shes been going with the most expensive dress she can find... I told her I had a budget but she wont really budge:(
If you're buying the dresses then you should speak up, tactfully, like rosychicklet suggested. Also, maybe you can tell your FSIL that you've only budgeted a certain amount and that you'll put $XX toward the dress and anything above that she'll be responsible for paying.
It sounds like you should give them a little more guidance. Have you seen a style that would be more flattering on most of the girls? It wouldn't hurt to suggest a style that you like and just explain that you've had a change of heart about letting them pick their own.
I thought I was doing the fathers/groomsmen a favor by not making them rent identical tuxedos. We requested that they all wear plain black suits. I was very specific in the instructions, but they ended up wearing whatever they wanted. They wore an array of suits in shades from navy to jet black... the one with pin stripes killed me!
I guess everyone has their own interpretation of wedding fashion... if there is any doubt, give some additional guidance!
OMG Mrs Pomegrante! Wait they showed up like that at your wedding?? Did you laugh at least? Thanks for all the help ladies! Much appreciated.
xo
I agree with lc2be, let your FSIL know how much you'll be putting towards everyone's dress and tell her she can pay the rest if she wants to go above and beyond that. She should consider it a blessing that you're paying in the first place!
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Well, since your dollars are going towards these dresses you can tell them that you are concerned they are a little too revealing for the more classic wedding you are trying to have, they aren't appropriate for church, etc...something that would fit your situation. Also, try not to stress to your girls too much about weight being an issue with you not liking how their dresses look on them because you don't want to upset/offend them and make them feel badly about themselves. All us girls come in many shapes and sizes, and I'm sure you can all find something that is flattering and would make them feel really beautiful. You can possibly look for dresses that you really like and suggest it to them. Unfortunately, because you sent them to find something they liked, it's a little harder now because you don't like what they chose. At the end of the day you can just be happy for them and the fact that they found something they will be happy to wear many times.
I think the best way to handle it -- so you don't hurt anyones feelings is to CHANGE YOUR MIND!! hahaha all brides do it... Find something you like and that you think they will look good in.. so many lines now have many dress shapes available in the same colors... Call them... send an email whatever you have to do and tell them you are going a different direction and This (show them a picture) is what you have choosen... if you have to take them to a store one at a time and find the perfect dress... seriously even if you aren't footing the bill its YOUR WEDDING!!
Best of luck... its sooo hard getting everyone on the same page. but in the end they will look their best and you will be proud to have them in your wedding pictures!
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Thanks Cinderellasmom and Lillindy... youre right I think Im going to change my mind! My sister is fine with it anyway and shes the MOH.
If you're wanting a cheap alternative dress for them you should check out www.justthebeginnnigs.com. That's where we got ours for under $80 each. Each girl picked out a dress they loved in the burgundy and they turned out great. Just another option for you if you're interested, good luck.
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ohh and they are all different? I dont mind the price. My budget is $300 each, so its I have a lot of room to play with. I just dont need someone picking out $600 designer dresses.
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HELP! I have 4 bridesmaids, all of different shapes, they are all around the same height 5'4. I gave them all a choice of their own dresses, the only thing was that they all had to be the same colour, fabric and short (below the knee).
But when I seen what they had picked, I was mortified. They all picked tight dresses, and they all looked horrible, becuase they are all chubby. And I didnt know what to say or do. I told them I would think about it and I came home to rant to my FH.
I want to make them feel comfortable, but I dont want them to look rediculous. And what if they dont think they look bad? Becuase I really think they think that they look good.
Sorry for being confusing:S