Post # 1
Do you have any “role models” as far as parenting is concerned? Give an example of something they do or have done that sticks out in your mind as something you want to remember for your own kid(s).
My parents & DH’s parents – Too many examples to mention. I think both sets of our parents did a good job raising us. I think one of the biggest take-aways I got from my parents is that they were always “parents” even when that wouldn’t make them the most popular people in my life at the time (teenage years), rather than trying to be my “friend” when it would have been detrimental to me; they were parents first, friends second. For DH’s parents, I’ll always remember the story of when my DH was little and he took the bulbs out of a neighbor’s Christmas lights on their bush (not to be mean to the neighbor, but because he thought the bulbs would be neat to have); his dad made him take the bulbs back and apologize to the neighbor in-person.
My sister – I really like how she taught her kids to be polite & respectful and always say “please” and “thank you”, I mention this specifically because I saw how difficult it could be when she was trying to teach them politeness and a 3rd party would say “it doesn’t matter” (like when she would make them say “thank you” for a peice of candy from someone, and the person that gave them the candy tried to tell my sister that it was okay if they didn’t say it; they were just trying to be nice, but my sister was trying to use it as a learning experience). And spin-off from the thread about picky eaters: I also like how she introduced a wide variety of food to them from a young age, they will eat food most kids wouldn’t even touch.
My neighbors – I noticed right away when we moved in to our house that when their kids are outside in the cul-de-sac, at least one parent is out with them and they are very involved with their children. And whenever a car pulls into the cul-de-sac, they have been taught to go back to their driveway so they aren’t in the way of the car. I think that will be a rule in our household too.
Post # 3
I would say both our parents. I know our mindset is raising our son back to a time when we grew up. Being able to play in our yards (mindful though I lived in the country and DH lived in a very, very small town). Without to much care, the plan is to fence in our backyard next spring or maybe this fall.
Both our parents instilled respect for our elders, to mind our manners, etc. We plan on instilling this into our son to and any future children.
Post # 4
My parents- They treated me like an adult. I never ever got “because I said so”‘d or “because I’m the mom”‘d. They let me debate with them and sometimes I won. More often I lost– but at least I felt HEARD. They also let me participate in whatever they were doing so long as I behaved myself (I guess more with the “treating me like a person not a kid” vibe). Also– they loved each other. They kissed hello every time my dad got home from work, I caught them making out on the couch sometimes, it was clear that they still really liked EACH OTHER and they never said bad stuff about each other to us. Lastly, when we became teenagers we were forced to get jobs and work for our spending money, I think that made us careful with money.
My grandparents- they were really involved in getting us kids to DO stuff. My grandma taught me how to sew when I was four and whenever I was at her house we would do projects (not just watch tv). My grandpa taught me all about gardening and let me help him out in his wood shop. I liked that they kept us kids involved in stuff and let us create things and learn skills rather than just parking us in front of a tv all the time.
Okay now the goofy ones:
Dan and Roseanne Conner- I loved how much fun they had all the time. They pulled pranks on the kids and I think that made the kids funny.
Parents from Easy A- DH and I always joke that we want to be them some day. They seem so unendingly accepting and trusting of their kids. They are totally open and non-judgmental. And they are hilarious.
Post # 5
Both my parents and my DH’s parents – too many examples to mention. If we can do half as good a job at parenting as the four of them, we’ll be doing amazing.
Post # 6
My parents are actually are not the parents I look up to most when it comes to marriage & family. First in my mind are my BIL & SIL (husband’s brother & wife) who manage to have a whole lot of fun in their relationship, and have continued to have an active social life after children. After meeting them and watching them with their children, I realized that getting married and having kids didn’t have to mean (as it eventually did for my parents) that you stopped being social and enjoying each other’s company. Also on my husband’s side, his aunt and uncle have SO much fun travelling together, and I want to be them when I grow up (hah)! Seeing them travel the world together (they have 2 grown children) helped me to realize that I don’t have to do everything RIGHT NOW. I can have a really great time with my husband in 20 years, if that’s what I choose. I’m actually eternally grateful that I have these couples in my life, because they have changed my outlook on having kids SO MUCH. I’ve realized by watching them (and other couples as well) that having children does not have to mean the loss of my ‘self,’ but can be a great and wonderful thing!
Oh, and my boss & his wife are my childrearing examples x 100. They do such a wonderful job of teaching their kids to be polite, responsible, etc.