What part of 'no kids' don't you understand??

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Purple_Bride:  Be direct, and say, “Bobby, our wedding is childfree.  We do not have dinners or seats for your kids.  You’re going to have to find somone to watch them.  Could you switch weekends with Sarah?”  Don’t be passive aggressive.

Post # 4
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Honestly, I would just tell him, our wedding is going to be child-free.  If you can not come, we will miss you.

Post # 5
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Purple_Bride:  Shoot, he sounds like my brother. Not with the same issue, but crazy ex, kids, etc. I agree with the other posters, except it sounds like you already did that. 🙁 I guess you could try again… I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with this though. I’m discovering now that it’s things like this that make wedding planning stressful. 

Post # 6
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Purple_Bride:  +1 to the PPs who said to be direct.  Your brother of all people should know that child free means no kids, especially his own. 

Post # 7
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Also tell him, “If you show up with the kids, we’re going to ask you to leave.  I love you, and I love Ginny and Ron, but they’re just not allowed at this event.”

Post # 8
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

Tell him straight up. It’s not like you’re surprising him with this.

Tell him, “You’ve known for YEARS that the kids are not invited and nothing has changed. Find them a babysitter or don’t show up at all, just don’t show up with them because you won’t be allowed in.”

Harsh? Yeah, but it sounds like he needs it. 

Post # 10
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Is it possible he cannot afford a babysitter? Maybe that’s why he feels the need to bring them? Or maybe all the babysitters he knows aren’t available?

Post # 11
Member
867 posts
Busy bee

@Purple_Bride:  it boggles my mind how resistant people are to ‘no kids at wedding’ decisions! We see it posted here at the bee all the time! Is it maybe because I’m not a mom yet so could not understand ? Anyway, it’s crazy people are not respectful of this let alone your brother! I wonder if he just wants to show off his kids or something? Maybe bring it up by saying ‘ who did you decide on to watch the kids during the wedding?’ 

Post # 12
Hostess
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@Purple_Bride:  When it comes to kids at the wedding anything other than direct communication will be ignored…and even then you don’t have any guarantees. I would be blunt but nice about it and just let him know that kids are not allowed and if that means he cannot come you understand.

 

Post # 13
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I don’t blame you at ALL! Our wedding is kid free with the exception of those in the WP and I pretty much know who is going to give me shit about their kids not being invited and I’m not going to give in.

 

It’s you & your FI’s day if you do not want kids and have not made an excetion to anyone else, stick to your guns. Maybe you guys can help him find a babysitter that he’s comfortable with for the evening.

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