What piece of wedding etiquette did you not follow?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@freshflowers:  I can’t think of anything we ignored. We tried to be polite and gracious hosts to our guests. It’s really not that hard.

I think people often confuse tradition or wedding industry hype for etiquette. 

As for offending people – there are instances where people are legitimately offended when they’ve been treated rudely – like being panhandled for a cash gift or receiving an invitation that doesn’t include their spouse, for instance. In other cases, people are offended because you may be doing something or not doing something they think you should but isn’t at all rude – like not inviting their kids or offering a plus one to someone not married or engaged.

As long as you know you have behaved politely, you shouldnt worry.

Post # 4
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@freshflowers:  i did not follow the rule of “gaps” i had a 2 hr gap btwn btwn the end of my ceremony and reception.

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Zhabeego:  Well said.

We tried to be polite and gracious hosts. However, we didn’t follow all of the typical traditions.

Post # 6
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Daizy914:  I don’t believe gaps is a matter of etiquette, is it?

Post # 7
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

I skipped favors. I have no regrets!

Post # 8
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Zhabeego:  i believe it is…i cant rememer where I read it. But tbey said gaps are an inconveince and that if there is a gap tha t the hosts (bride and groom) need to ensure that the guests will be accomkdated and that there is something planned while they wait since there are always at least a few OOT guests.

Post # 9
Member
8916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Oops double post. 

Post # 10
Member
8916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

We didn’t buy into the “OMG your food has to be the best food everrrr” rule. We foun a caterer who made a delicious chicken / veggie / pasta dish plus a few yummy sides for ~$20 pp. We also just did DIY fruit / veggie / cheese / cracker / meat / sweets cocktail hour food rather than hot passes apps (which admittedly are delicious). That way we were able to invite all our really important guests and still stay in the budget. The food was great and fit our semi-casual wedding just fine. 

I guess I don’t really understand when people say the food is one of their top priorities. Yeah, it’s nice to have amazing food, but in my book it was more of a priority to expand our guest list at the expense of amazing expensive food. 

Post # 11
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee

Not everyone who was invited to the shower was also invited to the wedding. MIL thought is she invited someone we would have to, we stuck to our guns and said no.

Post # 12
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@freshflowers:  I haven’t gotten married yet but I have no intention of giving a plus one to every adult and I know that is a debated point. But I have tons of cousins who are 18-21 and single. They will be seated with all their other young cousins. They are all close. I see no reason they would feel even remotely uncomfortable if they aren’t able to bring some random friend with them.  

Post # 13
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@PoppyH:  Oooo… sneaky!!! Glad you stuck to your plan! That had to be a hard one. 

Post # 14
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@PoppyH:  But then why invite them to a shower? 

It is really rude to invite someone to give you a gift in celebration of an event they are deemed unworthy to attend.

That’s just a straight-up gift grab.

Post # 15
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Not every adult is getting a +1.

I’m not inviting one uncle. Just because I can’t stand him.

 

 

Post # 16
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee

@Zhabeego:  MIL invited her. DH and this woman DO NOT get along in any form, it had been known for a long time that she would not be invited to our wedding. My husband felt this way and I backed him up. MIL argued with DH about this all the time and it was one more way that she was trying to run OUR wedding. We didn’t have a say in the guest list of who was invited to the shower, but we sure as hell did in who was invited to the wedding. MIL was hoping that if SHE invited the dragon lady to our shower that we would be forced to invited her to the wedding. We had alreay said no probably close to 30 times. We were not giving in.

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