Post # 1
I think part of maintaining a long and healthy relationship is just knowing when something isn’t going to happen. Like, knowing when to change your expectations. And DH and I have gotten pretty good at that.
He is not allowed to come to the grocery store with me. Just, no. No. That is my job; it is my burden to bear alone. Because he is AWFUL at the grocery store. Just AWFUL. He complains the entire time; he won’t just let me go up and down every aisle — no, we can’t go up an aisle unless I can pretty much tell him what is in that aisle that I need. It is terrible, and after several bad experiences, I just told him to stay his ass at home whenever I go grocery shopping. If we’re just grabbing something quick, that’s different, but for the full-on weekly shopping trip, he is NOT INVITED.
I’m also considering banning him from Costco. He gets all worked up about how crowded it is, so he rushes me and irritates me and doesn’t really help at all. He just stresses me out and then wanders off to get all the food samples instead of actually helping me shop. Haha what a jerk.
Of course, by the same token, I am no longer allowed to accompany him to Home Depot. I whine the entire time about how he is taking forever (though in my defense, HE TAKES FOREVER) and he gets mad and yells at me. It’s better for our relationship if I either stay in the car, or, even better, at home.
What other places have you and your SO tacitly agreed not to drag each other ever again? And why?
Post # 3
The bathroom and the gyno’s office. That’s about it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
The mall. I cannot take my husband to the mall. He is such a miserable person there, and it kills my shopping buzz. But I’m actually getting to the same cranky level that he is when it comes to crowded shopping areas, so it’s not an issue any more. 🙂
Post # 5
@iarebridezilla: Ugh, I feel your pain! My ex would seriously get mad at me if I forgot something and had to revisit the same aisle! But he was a jerk about most things, lol. My FI and I can go pretty much everywhere together, except when he goes to church with his brother. Not my scene, so I opt out. Also #2 in the bathroom. #1 in the bathroom is fine and welcome conversation 🙂
Post # 6
@Kimberley25: Same here. We do everything together, even the grocery store and Home Depot, lol.
He’s well-behaved, though, it totally makes a difference. 😉
I wouldn’t allow my ex-husband to go anywhere at all with me. He could even make a mall trip miserable.
One of the best things about my husband now is that he’s always happy and in a good mood, so he makes everything fun.
He has, however, banned me from Wal-Mart, because I hate Wal-Mart and I’m a complete bitch in there. At least he hates Wal-Mart, too, so it works out fine.
We’re always together except at work.
Post # 7
Any kind of shopping….grocery store, Target, the mall, the garden section of Home Depot…yep, any kind of shopping. He rushes me, gives me funny looks, and then sighs really loudly like he’s dying.
Starbucks. He drives me nuts when he goes to Starbucks. He hates coffee. He hates the smell of coffee. But, he loooovvvveeesss to tell everybody there how much he hates coffee. Irritating.
I don’t get to go to the mechanic with him.
Post # 8
@lovekiss: haha my husband is absolutely miserable at the mall too … but then HE ends up being the one buying a bunch of stuff! Like, he bitches and moans the whole time and then he buys himself shoes and shirts and shorts and belts … and he takes forever to choose and try on whatever he wants to buy. So it’s like he prolongs his own torture (and mine by extension, haha). NO THANKS!!!
He also hasn’t come with me to Babies R Us a single time and says he won’t be doing any baby store shopping anytime soon. To be honest, I am perfectly fine with that. I’m sure he would just whine the whole time and ruin my experience. “Why do we need that?” “It’s cute!” “We don’t need that. Put it back.” Haha such a grump.
Post # 9
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@iarebridezilla: Agree with PP, SO cannot come into the bathroom with me. It’s too small and he’s always in my way besides the privacy part.
I’m not allowed in his closet (MUST CLEAN!!!!!!!) or at the driving range with him but I don’t golf anyway it’s more of a “his time” thing.
Post # 10
I’d say any public mens and ladies bathrooms. Probably the gyno office too.
My ex-H was also like a 3 yer old throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. That shit gets old quick! I suggest you let him get the groceries once in a while. He is an adult and he needs to know how to get food. What if something happened to you?
Post # 11
@lovemoore: haha your guy’s behavior at Starbucks reminds me of how DH is at Costco. He feels the need to be all “WHY IS THIS PLACE SO CROWDED? WHO ARE THESE ANIMALS AND WHY DO THEY MOVE SO SLOWLY AND PARK THEIR CARTS EVERYWHERE?” And he is so loud about it. I’m like, sheesh, if you hate it so much, then WHY DID YOU INSIST ON COMING WITH ME?!?!?
Post # 12
@sienna76: haha he’s perfectly ABLE to buy food at the grocery store; he just hates doing it whereas I don’t mind it at all. Since I do 90% of the cooking at home, I’m the only one who knows what we need. In order to send him I’d have to make a shopping list. Nah, better off just doing it myself!
Post # 13
@iarebridezilla: EXACTLY!! LOL! He totally insists on coming with me to Starbucks so he can, you know, read the paper, relax in the sun, drink an iced tea, bitch at EVERYBODY there that it smells like coffee. Seriously?!? It’s a coffee house!!
Honestly, though, it’s kinda funny.
Post # 14
It would be my kitchen, I would ban him in it if I could. He is ALWAYS in my way when am trying to cook/bake. He wants to help, no you are not a help just go play with our son.
Post # 15
@iarebridezilla: I really enjoy reading your posts, you always make me laugh.
My husband is also not allowed to go shopping with me..why…because hes a putzer. He doddles around looking at everything…I’m in Wal-mart, its time to get shit done and get out. I don’t want to hang out and look at crap I don’t need…
Post # 16
nowhere really, except maybe the mall. I like shopping for clothes alone. I don’t think he’s ever wanted to go with me anyways.
He used to not let me in his bathroom because it was so gross. But, now I’ve got him committed to keeping it tidy, so I can get in once a week to clean it.
I do most of the grocery shopping since I cook, but he’s allowed to go with me. I usually make him go if it’s on a weekend, but most of the time I stop on my way home from work so I run in by myself.
Definitely nothing wrong with not having to everything together!