Post # 1
Hi all! How did you break up your guest list? I’ve heard that is it “customary” for the bride, groom, and each set of parents to get 25% of the guest list, but does anyone follow that anymore?
We ended up just telling our respective parents to make us a list of everyone they’d like to invite, then invited them all! We have a big venue, and wanted everyone who we cared about to be invited.
This was our breakdown:
- my friends: 16%
- FI’s friends: 16%
- my family and family/parents’ friends: 40%
- FI’s family and family/parents’ friends: 28%
What is your guest list ratio??
Post # 3
I”m way too lazy to pull up my guest list and figure out the stats (sorry…) but I can tell you that in terms of guests that are invited the biggest percentages go (from most to least):
My family (just bigger than his family)
His family (smaller, and also almost none of them will come)
My parents’ friends (only 4 + guests invited, although 2 of those I consider close enough I’d invite regardless of their asking)
His parents friends (0, they didn’t ask us to invite anyone non-related).
We are inviting about 155 and expecting 110. Most of the people coming will be my fam.
Post # 4
most of the family was mine- my mom is one of 6 and his mom is one of 2. We paid for the whole thing and we didn’t let our parents invite anyone, but we invited all their siblings and our cousins and stuff.
Post # 5
50 – 50 my side / his side! exactly 74 invited from each side.
Post # 6
We are about equal because we have been together so long that we have the same friends.
About 200 guests on his side (family and church members) and about 200 on my side (family and church members). Then about 30 friends. We are only expecting about 20 friends to show up (including their dates), and about 300-350 family members.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club
Ours is totally leaning on my family side. His parents didn’t want to invite many people so it’s probably close to
Our friends: 35%
My parents family/friends/co-workers: 60%
His parents: 5%
Post # 8
I decided early on that we would invite 180 people told. 90 for us and 90 for them. It ended up being 86 us and 94 them, but that’s fine. In terms of each side, I think it was like this:
parents’ friends – 26
his friends – 30
family – 40
family – 54
my friends/coworkers – 32
That being said, of those actually attending, it will be more like 2/3 their guests and 1/3 ours because not a lot of my out of town family will attend.
Post # 9
It’s about 60% his side, and 40% my side! Because we’re inviting COUSINS. (I’m not bitter!)
Post # 10
It feels like my side is much bigger. I didn’t realize how large my family is (lots of cousins with multiple children), plus I feel like I have groups of friends from different parts of my life vs. him staying with his one main group. Also, he isn’t inviting much family….
I know my best friend who recently got married found that the wedding list was unbalanced in her favor as well.
It seems hard to balance sometimes when there’s no way to fix it. Though I wish it could be more balanced. 🙁
Post # 11
My family is bigger, so he gets to invite more friends. Plus his parents and my parents each invited 5 couples a piece. In the end, it turned out almost equal (except I have control of the “extra Save the Dates” and so have snuck in 1 or 2 more after the initial send-off … sometimes being the one who does all the work is actually a good thing)
Post # 12
Same as iRun, I have a lot more family/family friends, and he has slightly more friend friends that are invited. I also have control of the list though 😀
Post # 13
I have a giant family so our wedding is very heavily out-weighed with “my” guests. Our break down looks something like this.
65 People Total booked for our destination wedding in Mexico:
My Family – 32 + 3 children
Fiance’s Family – 5
Bridesmaids – 4
Groomsmen – 4
Friends (Most are mutual) – 17
After the guestlist played out I felt bad for my man, but there was honestly no way to cut corners with this one. Making our wedding a destination wedding has cut the guest list considerably already (from about 125 to 65), but even when the list was larger my family still took up most of the seats. My mom is 1 of 10 siblings and all of my family guests are Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, 1st Cousins and that’s it!
Post # 14
We’ve found that after four years together, it isn’t possible to distinguish “my” friends from “his” friends anymore. 🙂 Our attendants and ceremony readers were identified in the programs as “Friend of the bride and groom.”
As for family, it was pretty evenly balanced between his relatives and mine. About seven on his side (plus immediate family); about six on my side (plus immediate family).
Post # 15
I’m too lazy to do a total breakdown. We’re inviting a total of 180 people.
FI and his family/friends/parent’s friends have 140-150 people.
My side is 30-40ish (and this is attributing our mutual friends to me too). Crazy, right?
Post # 16
Ha! I have everything tallied and summarized on a spreadsheet b/c I’m a dorky accountant. We cut the list of family off at cousins & their kids, but I’ve got a lot of cousins and he has two. SO, 45% my fam, 15% his fam & 40% our friends (about split evenly between us). I have stats on yeas & neas, meal choices, kids by age and out of state travelers too. I said I was a dork.