Post # 1
This is not meant to be a judgemental or heated thread – just curious.
At what point do you consider yourself engaged?
To me, “engaged” is the relationship status definition of the time before the wedding after two people have agreed to marry each other, and are actively planning a wedding. I think that this can be done from something as simple as a talk where two people decide to start planning a wedding/buying a ring, or as elaborate as a proposal ring included.
If my SO and I, as a couple, have started planning a wedding together (I’m talking deposits here), or I know he has a ring and he knows that I know he has the ring, we’re engaged. My SO also agrees with this as it pertains to us.
But – these are our beliefs, and I don’t expect everyone to agree with us. So… what are your thoughts?
Post # 3
Engagement consists of:
Party 1: Will you marry me?
Party 2: Yes.
Post # 4
I think that once you’ve decided to get married, you’re engaged, period.
Post # 6
i’m really interested in the responses to this. i always thought that if both parties knew they were going to get married, had agreed to it (whether from the down-on-one-knee proposal or just a discussion), that’s when you were engaged. because you have made an engagement. to be married.
but it seems like there’s a lot of bees who have a date set, or already have had that mutual “we’re getting married, now let’s talk wedding details” conversation, but do not consider themselves to be engaged becasue the proposal is still on it’s way. i can understand wanting and expecting the proposal (or wanting to plan one yourself), but i think you could easily call yourself engaged before then if you already have mutual marriage plans. i guess the biggest factor should be something like, “when both parties agree to call themselves engaged.” lol
Post # 8
In my circle, an engagement isn’t official until the proposal has been made and the ring is either on the finger or in the process of being obtained. If there’s no ring, people tend to question it. Whether that’s right or wrong isn’t for me to decide, it’s just the way that my circle works.
Post # 9
I voted proposal. DH and I talked about getting married within our first year of dating, I did not consider myself engaged.
Post # 10
I voted “mutually decided” because to me, a proposal IS a mutual decision. He asked and I said yes, so it’s mutual. A lot of Bees have stories where they just discussed it and decided to get married, so I don’t even think a traditional proposal is necessary. And no ring is necessary either- I was ringless for a month but no one questioned whether we were engaged.
ETA: Although, I suppose you can decide to get married eventually without agreeing to be engaged… in which case I think a mutual decision to call yourself engaged is necessary. So I guess I disagree with all the poll choices.
Post # 11
Once BOTH people agree to get married!
Post # 12
DH and I knew we were going to get married for a number of years, I wouldn’t have considered us engaged. We would even talk about aspects of our future wedding. An engagement to me means there has been a proposal and the other person has said yes, with or without a ring.
Post # 13
@LGenz: to clarify – I agree with you as well. my SO and I have talked wedding details before, but we have not exclusively started planning (looking at venues, booking places, trying on dresses/tuxes, etc). the day he says “lets go look at such-and-such place to find out pricing/availabillty for a wedding”, I’ll consider us engaged (whether he has said “will you marry me” or not by that point)
Post # 14
I’m with KatyElle on this. Both parties have to agree to become married. I’ve seen so many women engrossed in the idea of marriage that they kind of drag the poor guy along until he is forced to propose out of fear haha.
Post # 15
When he [or she] proposes and the offer is accepted
Post # 16
@PitBulLover:good point as well – this makes me wonder now what people view as a proposal. is it any question form that results in a mutual decision of an impending wedding?