Post # 1
My best friend got married yesterday. She comes from money and I have always had to work hard not to allow jealousy to seep on through. I was her MOH, but I avoided a lot of wedding talk because it frustrated me to hear about the extravagant spending of money when I am stressing so much to stick to our budget. In all reality, we are very lucky to have what I consider a large budget (around 30k). Still, we certainly have had to budget carefully in order to fit the things that we would like to have.
In the days leading up to the event, I asked my FH to continue to remind me not to compare her day to our wedding. I was terrified that the jealousy was going to eat me alive.
So… it came and went. And it was an absolutely gorgeous affair. The cost of the wedding was around 1 million and there were some pretty spectacular details – a bar made of ice, flowers flown in from out of the country, fake snow falling during the ceremony… truly a once in a lifetime event.
You want to know the best part of the wedding? The bride and groom are madly in love. He cried tears of joy when she walked down the aisle. They smiled huge genuine smiles during their first dance. The families of the couple were so excited and proud that the joy radiated from them. It was, by far, the happiest wedding I’ve ever been to. And in the end, that is what made the event so special. The lavish details were gorgeous and the guests were taken care of…but I think it would have been just as special if we’d been in a backyard.
It was a good reminder for me. I may not be able to afford the things that Pinterest has led me to believe I “must have,” but I know that without a doubt, my wedding will be full of love.
I thought maybe others would appreciate the thought. The people who love you are at your wedding because they want to witness your joy and celebrate with you. Whether that’s done at a backyard barbeque or a castle is inconsequential in the end.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I’m going to withhold my judgement on the 1 million dollar price tag and just say that this is a lovely sentiment. And 30k is quite a nice budget – nothing to feel jealous about, honestly.
Post # 4
Thats really awesome. I think sometimes we all need a reminder that what is really important is that both people are there for the long haul, really have respect and love for each other and the can celebrate this next step with people they love. A chocoalte fountain with doves flying out might be nice but really being 100% present and willing in that huge moment is really what matters for the marriage. I woke up on the morning of my first wedding just thinking none of this matters ..flowers, cake…crazy family be damned….as long as by the end of the day I am married to my best friend I dont care what else happens.
Post # 5
OP, you have close to ten times my budget for your wedding. And what we’re planning to do, we believe will be beautiful and represent us well. Anybody would be thrown away by a million dollar wedding. It’s just not representative at all of the average weddings, so comparing any other wedding to it is, IMO, completely pointless. And it surely doesn’t make one better than the other. What is different is how money is perceived. To me, spending 1 million over a wedding is … let’s keep it respectful … outrageous. I see a thousand things I could do with that money, not only for me but for other people who need it more than me. Sure it’s impressive as a guest, sure it must have been beautiful, but 30K is already more than enough to have an extravagant wedding.
Post # 6
@MsMonkey: great post :-)! Very well written and a great sentiment.
my sister and brother both had large extravagant weddings ( tho nowhere near 1 mil!!) , my budget is nearly 50K smaller than theirs.
and your experience holds true for me too- they were phenominal weddings but not because of the food/venue/ect, but the love 🙂
Post # 7
A friend of mine is getting married and she insists on having this absolutely extravagant wedding and it just baffles my mind. She feels the need to out-do every other wedding she’s been to, and I constantly tell her that she’s being ridiculous. But if course she doesn’t want to listen, and frankly I don’t care.
OP, your budget is exactly the budget my mom was comfortable with. My wedding ended up costing $22k and to this day, people still tell me how excellent my wedding was. And to tell ya the truth, for as excellent as people say it was, I’d still go back and do a small DW just to have avoided all the stress I went through in planning.
Post # 8
@lolot: The amount spent is certainly not my style and would not be reflective of who my FI and I are as people. I consider our budget huge and I’ve been to amazing weddings that were $1,000 🙂 The jealousy really came from that “wow” factor – just so many amazing details that made it memorable. And of course, it must have been nice not to have a budget. Still, like I said, the true extravagance of the event came from their love!
@Danori: Exactly 🙂 I am a people pleaser and it’s hard not to stress about having a “perfect” wedding that everyone will like – but in the end, I KNOW that our love will be obvious and the people who care are there for that reason.
@NauticalDisaster: Despite my initial jealousy, I would not have a wedding for that amount because it goes against my personal beliefs about money and what not. But like you said, it’s not hard to be wowed by such an event. I just found it very comforting that the event was great NOT because of the money spent, but because of the love. It was pretty cool to see such a wedding though… I felt like I was at a celebrity event, lol!
@Boxerlover24: I’m glad you liked 🙂 And I’m so glad you’ve seen weddings full of love. I went to a wedding several years ago and it was quite expensive IMO (though not like this!) and it really didn’t “wow” me. It didn’t really seem to represent the couple that well and they honestly seemed a little uncomfortable. My FBIL got married a few years back and they had a fairly modest budget and it was an awesome wedding because it was so them.
@Rubbs: You know, much of the expense of this wedding was about my friend’s parents. They wanted to throw an amazing event for their family. My best friend is actually a pretty laid back person, so she wasn’t too worried about having the best wedding ever. It still felt like “her” because so much personal detail was included, but I don’t think she would have chosen to spend such money had it been her choice.
Post # 9
@MsMonkey: Just remember, her million seems lavish & amazing to you compared to your 30k, but others of us have had to make it work within the single digit thousands (mine was 6k). Still others even go to the courthouse without family or friends due to lack of budget.
Wealth & extravagance truly are very relative terms..
Post # 10
The wedding sounds amazing because they were so happy! I love weddings like that. But can I just say, ONE MILLION??? Unless she was Kim Kardashian, I feel like that’s a tad excessive.. I will be spending maybe 8 grand on my wedding and even that seems excessive to me personally.. I’d rather donate my money to an animal shelter and save a bunch of puppies or cancer research than have one big crazy million dollar day.
Post # 11
@MrsSkeletonKey: I absolutely know that. Like I said, I consider our budget huge – especially because my FI and I scrape to make ends meet every day. The only reason we are able to have any money toward a wedding is because of a savings account my parents opened when I was born. I feel so very blessed because it is an astronomical amount of money… were we not getting such help, we would be having a barbecue at home – and it would still be awesome because we’d be happy 🙂
I guess I should clarify – my initial jealousy was less about the amount of money and more about not having a budget. I’m so sick of looking at my Xcel spreadsheet, lol.
The bottom line from my post is that all that misguided jealousy died the minute I realized that the true beauty of her day was about the love and joy, which is something we can all have regardless of money.
Post # 12
@happilyeveraftergirl: I personally wouldn’t do it, I’ll say that. Not my style! But all of the judgement/jealousy/any other negative emotion pretty much died when I watched their ceremony. The love on his face when he looked at her was so genuine that nothing else really mattered.
Post # 14
We spent right around $10k for ours, and people said that it was the best wedding that they’d ever been to. We’ve been to weddings that we KNOW cost more than ours and ours still blew them out of the water.
Post # 15
To quote the Beatles – “All you need is love” 🙂
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle
This is waaaay off the point of the post, but do you have any photos that would be okay to share. I would love to see the ice bar and the snow!