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Hi SoCalBride
I've heard between 10 and 20% won't attend but you should never count on that either. There was something on the knot under ask carley about it, but I can't find it now.
J
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I have also heard 10%.
I think I'll have a high "no" rate because our wedding will be a destination for about 60% of our guests. I'd bet that 40% of our guests won't come.
I think it really depends on how many guests are from out of town. I did something really nerdy, which was estimate the percent chance that each guest would actually come, then add that number up. I've read that people do that and they're actually not that far off usually. Anyway, I really hope people decline at higher than 10% or I'm kind of screwed!!
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I've heard 20% don't attend, but I am sending out 250 invites for 200 spots. I already know, however, that we are inviting some people that definitely will not come. Since most of our guests are from out of town, I'm honestly more worried about having too few guests since our venue requires a 200 person minimum. I think the best thing we can do is try to find out, via word of mouth, how many people are intending to attend.
I heard 20% a couple different places. I sure hope its near that amount because I'll have issues otherwise. I know one of the girls at work says her's worked out to 20% exactly.
I would guess it probably has something to do with the number of people you invite too. If you only invite 60 people, then chances are those are the people closest to you and they will go through great lengths to be with you on your day. If you invite 300 people, you probably have some people who you have never even met! So if they have something else to do that day, they probably will. Ok, this wasnt helpful 
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hmmm good question! I've also heard 20% won't attend, and I think 3-5% of RSVP "yes" also won't come.
I've been really confused on an estimate as well. Is there a percentage for out of towners? or does it depend on the relationship???
We are inviting 150 total, but half of those are out-of-towners. As went over the list with my FMIL, she told me "invite but probably won't come". But what if they DO come? aye aye aye.....
Our invite list was over 300 people and we had about half of them come to the wedding.
But that's mostly because we invited ALL of Mr. Radish's first cousins... and there are like a hundred of them. He barely even knows most of them, so we didn't really expect they would come, but his parents really wanted us to invite them all as a courtesy.
Also, we invited a lot of our friends who live all over the country and we didn't really expect most of them would be able to make it but we didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by not inviting them. Surprisingly, many of this group did come. Probably of about 75% of people that fell into this category actually came, which was more than we expected. I think we ended up having almost as many friends there as we did family.
So anyway, I think it depends on the circumstances of your wedding such as how many people will have to travel and how far, are you inviting people (such as cousins) that you aren't very close to, etc.
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that's my problem too.. i mean i like to know who's coming and just overinviting ppl for the hopes of 20% ppl not showing is risky. because there is the "what if" factor and then you would be out of luck. I have an A and B list to help me with that. I am going to invite a comfortable amount of ppl a little over my 150 limit and have them RSVP a little bit early than my wedding, like probably 3 weeks earlier so that I have time to invite ppl on my B list when I get some no's back. "A" list are ppl that want to be there for sure and that I hang out with the most and "B" list is that they don't have to be there, but it would be nice to share the occassion with them too. for me, I've heard 25% is the number to use but I rather do 10%. my 1st dilemna when putting a guest list was that I felt like anyone who I met socially needed to be invited, which is ridiculous bc I barely knew them and only on the occassions of group hang outs. My 2nd dileman is having to invite ppl who I know aren't showing up and be a wasted invitation since I am making them all. I rather send invites to the ppl who are coming. I definitely kept distance of travel in mind like ppl who are further away to not have them travel so far unless they are really really close friends. Attending a wedding is expensive when you add up all the travel costs as well as the gifts and I don't want that to be a burden on any guest.
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I'm having such a dilemma with my guest list. Thank you all for giving me your thoughts.
I agree with 20% not coming. Higher percentages, obviously, for a destination wedding.
WAIT - ihave another question...
waht about the people who dont RSVP despite emails and follow-up calls and then show up???
ok i just had to add to the mix - my wedding planner says between 10-20% dont accept the invite...depends on time of year, how far to travel and age of guests (seniors who cant make the trip of new families with babies who cant makle the trip)
We are going to end up with (I am projecting) probably about 115-120 people after inviting 165, which looks like an enormous "no" rate (30%). I was kind of horrified (doesn't anyone love us? :-), but then I realized that 18 of our invitations were sent to single people who were invited "with guest". Only one of those people is actually bringing a guest, which, right there, is 17 "people", or 10%, saying no even though the invitee actually said yes. So definitely keep the number of unnamed "guests" in mind when figuring out who might come and who might not!
MoreShoesPlease - you have to call them and follow up. Or make someone else call them and follow.
So anyone else who's already married/ near the date have their %s of RSVPed nos?
i think i read this on Brides.com or the Knot...either way, i read that its 50% for out of towners. that seemed high to me, btu it depends on what relation the people are to you that you are inviting form otu of town, i guess.
i'm also stuck with a slew of "courtesy invites". i'm wondering if i'm going to send them all one bc clearly that racks up my stationary costs, and i'm doing them myself so i dont want to waste time either....
Hi Ladies,
I wanted to revive this board. Can some of the mrs. bees let us know how many actually showed up that were invited? We are working on our guest list now and I am torn between venues.
Thanks!
I had 35% 'No' to the reception. Of the close to 400 guests, 2/3 were out-of-towners. I also had a destination ceremony to friends from the opposite coast chose to fly to the DW instead of the reception.
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I have read 10 to 20% will RSVP as No. Emilie, you crack me up - although I must admit I also estimated probability of acceptance (in three bins) and color coded the guest list accordingly, much to the amusement of my FI. Since sending our STDs, we have had nice notes of congratulations from several people we thought would no way come to the wedding - and while that's not an indication that they will, it does make me unsure of my predictive system. I also figured that people who had to do some serious travel were less likely to come, but have had phone calls from several of them to say they wouldn't miss it for the world.
We are actually just holding the guest list to the max our venue can comfortably accomodate, and then figuring that if we get a high refusal rate we can invite a few more local friends, or just have less of a crowd. Our total guest list thus far is 160.
I'm sending out my invitations on Friday, so I'll keep you posted. I'm anticipating that 20% will not come.
I dont think you can ever really guess. My sister had all but ONE person show up to her wedding. All but about 10 guests lived within an hour of the site. So the 20% rule doesn't apply to her at all.
Our guest list is about 40% from out of state and FMIL said that we should invite FI's cousins even though he has never met some of them. I am needing 41 no's. FMIL has almost promised me that a majority of her family won't attend. Does it make me nervous??? Heck yes. Freaked out in fact. I just hope she is right. But don't ever count on a certain number of no's-even though that is what I am doing.
I'm all for not inviting more than you can seat in your venue or afford to pay for, otherwise you may end up in a tough situation later.
I think the % for yes and no depend on a few factors:
1. How well you know each person you're inviting
2. How big your wedding is (see #1) -- if you're having a small wedding, you're probably inviting only people who are very close, so they're more likely to come. If you're having a huge wedding, you're likely to get more declines because you're inviting people you're less close to.
3. How many people have to travel to attend your wedding. In-town guests are more likely to say yes, even if they don't know you as well. If someone lives far away, then they're less likely to attend.
4. Are there other friends or relatives who are having weddings near your wedding? If you're getting married at a popular time of year, people may have to decline due to conflicting weddings.
Thanks ladies. We have about 50% out of town people on our list. So, we are just not sure how to handle. I would hate to book my second choice and all those first cousins don't show!!!
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I am wondering what to do if I get NOs late and my date on my response cards has passed. Example, I intend to send ours out EARLY with the hopes I might get a few NOs and be able to invite more, invites for our Sept 13th wedding will go out in July to be returned by August 11th. I am horrified that people might say yes and then not show up. I mean I understand if there is an emergency but do people just not show? That seems so rude. Currently there are NONE of my coworkers on my A list. I have approximately 10 people I would like to invite to the wedding from my work (I've only been at this job for about 10 months)
i agree that you can guess to your hearts content but you never know who will say "yes"! we have an "estimated" column on our excel sheet (super helpful altho nerdy) and i have already heard some people who i guessed as no's are booking hotel rms based on our stds! so i think it all depends on your guest list- are they people who wouldnt miss it for the world, or random folks your parents know that wont want the bother? i think a lot of ppl have that 20% number in their heads & my FMIL uses that "but half the people wont even come!" excuse too for her list increases. but if you have a max, just be very careful about over-inviting! (at first we were only concerned about minimums but now our guest list went up and we actually have to ask, is there a MAX?)
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what is it with FMILs and their "half won't come!!" refrain? I hear it all the time, too. It drives me batty. 80% of our invite list is OOT, so I estimate that around 30 -40% won't come, BUT -- like others have said -- my cousin and his wife (who I never ever thought would come b/c (a) I haven't seen him in 5 years and (b) they have 4 small kids and we are having an adult reception and lastly (c) they live 4 hours away) have booked a hotel room in our block. I was shocked. So, you just never know.
my FMIL actually had the nerve to say that she thought maybe 15 people (out of the 80 she invited) would come to our OOT wedding. come on...
Because I know this is an ongoing discussion among brides-to-be, I thought I'd share this formula I found on another blog with fellow Bees. I like it way better than most because 95% of my guests are OOT, so I just can't imagine that the standard "20%" is very accurate when everyone is traveling between 6 to 16 hours to be here.
Add up each of your totals based on the categories below - then multiply by the given percentage. Add all together, and that should give you a rough estimate of number attending. (HOPEFULLY)!
Local guests (including family) = 85%
Out of town family = 75%
Out of town friends = half
Wedding party = 100%
We invited about 300 people and about 150 showed up. Most of our families are spread around everywhere so we knew that a majority of them wouldn't be able to make it. Of our families, just our immediate family members traveled to our wedding. A majority of our friends are also in the LE field so we knew only a few of them would be able to get off and the rest would have to work. I don't think you can rely on a percentage because of factors like traveling and work issues. We were pretty much able to guess what guests most likely wouldn't come because they lived in other states but we still sent out an invitation anyway because it would've been rude not to.
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We were supposed to have a 120 person wedding but my parents and fiancé keep adding people on and now we've invited close to 200. I have no idea how it's going to work out because we have reception seating for about 140 max. My parents are paying for it so I haven't stopped them, my parents keep saying that not everyone will come. I don't believe this because when we started planning this they said probably only 3 people from my mom's side will come (she's the middle of 9 children, so there's a lot), and now all but 1 of them are coming. I really am excited about seeing my long distance family, I'm just making the point that people will come who your parents claimed would not.
At this point we're only had about 4 no rsvps compared to around 60 for yes (invites went out 2 weeks ago). And my dad invited 2 more friends this week. We also have someone coming from China, so don't believe that most out of towners will not come. Right now most of my rsvps for yes live over 400 miles away. I'm happy and not complaining, just a word of caution for those still planning the guest list.
I think this completely depends on who you are inviting. While 10% regrets may be a good guess if most or all of your guests are local, we are inviting a high percentage of people who are a long drive or plane flight away. In this economy, the decline rate for a wedding like mine is going to be a lot higher.
Right now, here are our numbers:
Invited:238
Officially Accept: 132
Officially Decline: 54
Still need to hear from: 52
Some of the delinquent RSVPers are most likely going to come, so our best guess is that we will have 160 attend out of 238 invited, which is a 33% decline rate.
If you are having a hard time figuring it out, I'd recommend making a spreadsheet for your guest list, with a column that indicates the number invited in each party, and a separate column for the number you expect will attend from each party. Make conservative guesses about who you think will come, erring on the side of YES so that you don't end up underestimating. When we did this, we guessed we'd have about 180 guests, and its looking like it'll end up below that (which will be nice on the budget.)
Hope that helps...
Over half of our list was out of state. Fifty percent came. More than 10% who responded "yes" did not actually show up.
All I can say is wow! This makes me nervous. My fiancee and I were never able to fully agree on who we were and weren't inviting, even though we had many conversations about it where we did agree. Then he went home for a weekend out west and suddenly there are many more invitees.
We are getting married and having the reception in my parents backyard, garden-patio. Mind you this is a city garden-patio, so much smaller than if it were in the suburbs. We felt we could comfortably fit 30-40 people and suddenly we have about 80 invited but I'm not really sure because I still don't have his addresses, and that's more than half!
I'm freaking out now because my invites are done but not yet printed so maybe I can change the location but the wedding is in August! Can I find something with just 3 months to spare? Or are we just going to be really, really cozy?!?
I so wish we had just gone to the city clerk and had a nice dinner with our parents, the funny thing is he didn't want to and now he would rather and thinks we still can. I'm like aaahhh, we can't, we've already sent out half the STD's!
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Hi Bees,
I'm putting my guest list together and I'm curious, what percentage, on average, of a guest list, will RSVP no. I don't want to invite too few (there's a room minimum), but I don't want to invite too many either (we're on a budget, aren't we all?). So what did everyone here do? And do you have a good linkie?