Post # 1
So I was wondering – what qualities does your SO have that makes them better or more suited to you than your exes? For me I think it’s that FH gives me happiness and security, which are two really different things. I’ve been with guys who have made me happy, and I’ve been with guys who have made me feel secure but never really both in one guy.
I had amazing times with the exes who made me happy, but could never really trust that they wouldn’t ride away into the sunset without me, or cheat on me with a guy because they miss sleeping with both sexes. Life without security is hard. The exes who made me feel secure were great too, I could always depend on them but I never really felt like I could be happy with them for 50 years. They were always a little wrong for me or a little boring.
I don’t need crazy passion 100% of the time or anything, but I need someone who I find interesting and is interested in me. I also need someone who I can trust to love me long term.
Post # 3
@Ruby-Redshoes: My ex never said “sorry”. When we argued, even if it was his fault, I had to go and apologise and solve everything. My FI always wants to talk, understand how I feel, he’s always trying to grow and learn!
Post # 4
I can be myself around him, he gives me the love and affirmation that is important to me, and I never have to question his feelings for me. He is also much more mature than any guy I have dated.
Post # 5
@Ruby-Redshoes: What doesn’t set him apart?!
1) he is motivated and has a great work ethic
2) he is humble
3) he is safe but knows how to have fun
4) he is beyond loyal and super honest
7) he is always putting me first
8) he doesn’t yell or cuss
9) he has that good guy personality without the good guy quirks
10) he doesn’t judge or use me
Best of all I can be completely be myself with him and him with me…I always felt fake with my exes like we were always an arms length away
Post # 7
@Ruby-Redshoes: he is neither needy/clingy nor distant. He puts effort into making sure to spend time with me, but he is also supportive when I want a girls-only outing. I never ever feel smothered and always feel that our time is quality time. We support one another in maintaining friendships both together and separately.
Ex would throw a fit or even cry that I was ditching him if I wanted to do anything without him. And then if I did give in and invite him along, he’d sit around with a pouty face and bitch that he was bored. Uh, when I said champagne brunch with the girls, did you think it entailed something else besides numerous mimosas and girl talk? Needy dudes suck (and so do stupid young girls who are willing to tolerate that shitty behavior, such as yours truly back in the day.)
Post # 8
@Payless: lmao that’s like me. The majority of my exes were bad news.
Plus, i can be myself around him and not be judged. I don’t have to pretend to like camping to get him to like me. I can just say, I don’t like it and I won’t go but you have fun – and he would be completely ok with that. I don’t have to hide my sometimes neurotic personality.
Post # 9
@Payless: Dude. I could just copy and paste your answer!
- He is kind and gentle
- He takes my feelings seriously
- He is ambitious
- He is educated
- He is humble
- He puts my needs above his own
- He makes an effort with my family & friends
- He appreciates me and lets me know it
- He talks about his feelings
- He NEVER puts me down or tries to make himself feel better by belittling me
- He is loyal and faithful
- He respects my opinions
Man I dated some gems. 😛
Post # 10
@FoxyBride14: I was bad news before my DH came around. I was going no where fast (typical high school varisty cheerleader). I have been off the market since high school so I guess the guys I dated in middle school and right before high school could recieve eye rolls, like I didn’t experience. I was a total mess and so were the guys I dated.
@MexiPino: I could literally copy and paste your reasons as well, we definitely got some keepers 🙂
Post # 11
@Payless: oh haha, I dated a drug addict among other things. And that’s not me at all. But he was my first love and (some) girls are stupid about their first loves.
Post # 12
My husband is completely different from anyone I’ve ever dated.
- He tells me I’m beautiful
- He says I’m smart.
- He admits when he is wrong.
- He has eyes only for me.
- He doesn’t try to make me something I’m not
- He loves me for who I am, all the time.
- He doesn’t point out my physical flaws and tell me what needs improvement
Wow… Making this list has made me realize that I have dated a lot of assholes. Reading everything just made me even more grateful for the wonderful man I have!
Post # 13
@FoxyBride14: first loves are blind 🙂
I have never done drugs but I dated a druggy, he was good looking but definetely not all there…Thank goodness we both can say the past is gone and the future is bright 🙂
Post # 14
Ugh, everything. The only other serious relationship I had was with an abusive, psychotic son of a bitch (literally).
My SO now is the opposite. He:
– is so dedicated to everything he does. My ex couldn’t stick to anything, even me.
– takes care of me/cares about me. This is huge! My ex never cared if I was sick, hurt, or sad. Within the first few months of dating my SO, I had a pretty serious injurty. My SO spent every night sleeping on my bedroom floor in order to help me when I needed it.
– tries to make me happy. My ex would purposely do things to upset me or get a rise out of me. Now, my wonderful SO goes out of his way to see even the smallest smile.
– loves my body. My ex used to call me fat and describe everything he hated about me physically. When I am intimate with my SO, I know he loves my body because he tells me with both actions and words.
I lucked out, really.
Post # 15
He is smart, creative, fiscally responsible, super thoughtful, and genuinely cares about my well being. A lot of my exes didn’t have hobbies which drove me nuts, because I have my own hobbies and need “me time.” He lets me have my space and does his own thing- he writes, plays guitar, runs, cooks, and brews beer. He tells me that I’m gorgeous all the time and he’s also the best I’ve been with in bed so that’s a bonus too 😉
Post # 16
@Ruby-Redshoes: ALL of my exes were very jealous, possessive, aggressive and fought really dirty. Which was hard for me since i’m so laid back and passive aggressive. I’ve never had another relationship like the one I have with my FI. He’s so sweet and funny. He’s very supportive of whatever I do and makes me happy in a way I never thought was possible. He’s stable, wonderful, loyal, he trusts me and we both know we have eyes for no one except each other…and I’ve never felt more loved. He’s everything I could ever dream 🙂 (A sure sign he was a keeper was the fact that he not only stayed by my side in the Trauma for 16 hours after I flipped my convertible, but he was by my side the whole time I was in the hospital, and every step of the way towards recovery. No matter how much I struggle with not being healed, and the massive amounts of pain caused by nerve damage…he is always there supporting me and making me feel better 😉