Post # 1
I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I really love him and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I really believe that he loves me too. He lives 70 miles away but despite that we spend a lot of time together. He comes at least once during the week (and spends the night) and we spend almost every weekend together either at his place, mine or away. Because I am a teacher we spend my holidays together too. He is great with my child and I like his children (they spend every other weekend with us)
He wants me to move in with him. I would absolutely love to do that (despite the fact that it means I have to find a new job and more importantly changing my son school , friends and so on ) I do believe that we will be happy together and that my son too will benefit from living in a happy family environment.
Despite all this, I want us to at least get engaged before we move in together!
We did talked about marriage but we do not really agree…..He had a bad previous marrige he felt traped she was pregnant and that is why he got married …she was quite neurotic …etc. He does not believe in marriage… just a piece of paper…. etc
I do feel that he loves me! We are incredibly happy together!
Yet, marriage is important to me.
I do not believe in ultimatums and I know that we have not been together for that long but I do want him to propose and maybe get married in a couple of years.
Should I move without an engagement ring?
I am ”scared” that he will never propose…..
Surely if he loves me he will propose even if he personally does not believe in marriage. He knows how I feel about marriage.
What shall I do ?
Post # 3
I think you should wait until you are on the same page. He doesn’t want to get married and you do. It doesn’t seem like the best idea to move in with him – and involve your son – in hopes that he will change. You won’t be able to change the way he thinks as much as you want to. He has to come to it on his own. IMO – please wait, it’s only been a year.
Post # 4
@purplelover13: Thanks for your reply. Not what I want to hear but I appreciate it . I don’t want to change his mind I want him to do that by himself (if that makes any sense !? )
Post # 5
Your So is being honest with you. It sounds to me that he made up his mind about not wanting to get married again. I think you shouldn’t move in at this point because it sounds like you guys are not on the same page.
So before you make any choices and huge movements you need to be absolutely clear on where this is relationship is going.
I think judging by what you said it sounds like he is thinking long term but not just marriage. At this point I think you need to be clear, and ask him to be clear, then give it some time. If he isn’t willing to budge decide if you want to continue this relationship when you two have different goals and priorities.
He may be a great guy, you guys may be a great couple, but if you really need marriage and he really doesn’t want it, it just may not be enough to sustain the relationship.
Post # 6
@SophieG: you have posted this twice. you may want to delete one of these treads.
this is what i posted on the other thread.
you need to be on the same page when it comes to future goals. you are obviously not right now. it’s only been a year. why the rush? i wouldn’t move my family, quit my job and uproot my son from school in hopes that my bf will propose one day. if marriage is important to you, wait until he proposes. your relationship is still fairly new so he may change his mind one day.