(Closed) What should I do?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I know you said your friends are jealous of your relationship–does that mean they’re all single?  Maybe you’re just feeling a little envious of the single life that they all get to enjoy (but remember, they all wish they had a wonderful bf!).  If you truly believe your bf is the perfect guy for you, then please don’t break up with him.  You should think about what’s making you sad: do you guys stay in frequently and you wish you had more of a social life?  Go on dates with other couples, do fun things together, go on vacation, go out with your friends, play some board/video games… Figure out what’s making you sad, and then figure out what will make you happy.

Best of luck with everything!

Post # 4
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

The OP is no longer a member?  What happened?

Post # 5
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee

@SM1982: Is that’s why it’s gray? It took me a minute to figure out how you would come to that conclusion……but then I noticed that the OP’s post was gray, so I figured that must be an indicator???????

Wonder what’s up, any mods or anyone else have a clue?

Post # 7
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

There are a couple of things to look at.

As you said you are missing some “fun time”. You are young and you should be out with friends and having good times. Make sure you do that both with him and without him.

I would caution you to really look at WHY you are embarassed by him? Here and there is OK, but on a regular basis is a bit of a warning flag. You can love someone, but not be in love with them.

 

Post # 8
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

you sound exactly like me!  i had all those feelings at your age (for a guy i started dating senior yr high school), but it took me FOUR more years to figure out he was really NOT the one.  like your boyfriend, he was a lovely person, was good to me, and we didnt have any REAL problems, so we stayed together for much too long.  i wish i could go back and break up with him sooner.

Post # 9
Member
1742 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@ttwo2:  I agree you need to go have fun with and without him.  It sounded a lot in your first post like you might be spending a little TOO much time with each other – nothing makes someone get on your nerves more than spending every avaiable minute together.  I did that with my BF out 3rd smester in college, right after I moved in with him – all day together was a MISTAKE.  We signed up for the exact same class schedule, our friends were the same people, so neithr of us had many experiences that the other hadn’t already taken part in.  Neither of us had any alone time or space, both f which are important.

Glad to hear your feeling more positive.  Hope things go well πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

On top of that, I just don’t feel the same. I still love him, but I feel like there is a little something missing, but I have no idea what that something is.

Is it possible that you love him but are not IN love with him?

Post # 11
Member
1820 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t know anything about your relationship, so am definitely not in a position to give you specific advice, but I will say this:

The two-year relatiopnship itch is a very real thing (google it).  Many pyschologists advise that around the 2-year mark is when chemical attractions wear off and people in relationships are left with a very real vision of the other.  Around this point is when people start seeing their partner without chemically-induced rose-colored glasses; feelings of annoyance over little things and embarassment of certain characteristics are VERY COMMON at this stage.  That is why many relationships break up around the 2-year mark and why many relationship experts suggest being together for at least 2 years before marriage/having kids.  I definitely noticed this in my own relationship.  Lucky for me and my husband, there was enough attraction and love to sustain us beyond that itchy point, but in many cases there is not.  No big deal – most relationships aren’t meant for the long haul, which is why we date.

Post # 12
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

It does sound like you may have fallen into being more of friends that a couple. One of my really good friends fell into this position after 3 years of dating her bf. She loved him, but was not in love. Alot of this stemmed from the fact that she never really spent time w/ friends, and her and her bf always stayed in. In their case, the intimacy was lacking big time.

I think you should give your relationship an opprotunity to turn things around. You could just be in a mundane rut. Get out of the house, be social w/ him and without him. It sounds like your lives are lacking balance which can in turn have you focusing and over analyzing him b/c you are just around each other too much.  

Post # 14
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

just read your post & was going to comment and give you some advice but it seems like you already handled it πŸ™‚ i hope you are still doing well with your man and things are back to normal with you two Cool

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