Post # 1
So, here’s my situation:
I’m almost 30, married for 7 months and Darling Husband is on board for Ttc in April.
I currently work in the govt, in my chosen field on contract. I’m covering a mat leave, and after that, I’ve been extended until June/July on anotherextension, but nothing permanent has been offered. My director has said that he would like it to be that way, and the vp of corp services has come up asking for my resume cause he knows that I’m a valuable asset and has some anticipated holesIto fill in the near future.
Because of my job situation, moving forward with our lives by Ttc and buying a house is on hold. I’m really having a hard time with this. ESP the Ttc part. Like crying when people I know get preggers or have a baby(3 of those this week alone..).
So, there is a small possibility that my extension for the summer could lead to something long term, but it might also only lead to more extensions of 3 months, or 1 year, etc. Should I stay, with the possibility that I won’t get a permanent job, and put off Ttc for 6-12 months, or should I leave(provided I can even find another job) for something that isn’t in my field, and will likely be a pay cut?
EDIT: right now, we can’t live on DH’s income alone…we have a big student loan payment, so I need to be bringing in a paycheck some how
Post # 3
I didn’t vote as I couldn’t choose between the 2nd and 3rd options 🙂 How important is it to both of you to own a house before you TTC? If you don’t much care either way, that’s what I’d put on the backburner. I’d stay in your current job, apply for other jobs you think look interesting, and start TTC whenever. If a house is more important to both of you right now, I’d stay in your current job, look harder for other jobs that would be more permanent and secure, and start looking for a house. I’d put a limit on this plan though – maybe until your 30th or Christmas or something? And see how you’re going then. Good luck – it’s fun being an adult sometimes isn’t it 🙂
Post # 4
You don’t need to own a house to have a baby. You really don’t need more than a 1 or 2 bedroom apartment. If what you want is a baby, there shouldn’t be a whole lot standing in your way, unless you couldn’t even afford the apartment/other living expenses on one income plus whatever other small job you could get. If it were me, though, i’d likely put off TTC for one year, just to see if I could get my job situation stabilized and more savings in the bank!
Post # 5
@mountain.bride: Thanks for your reply. Buying a house isn’t nearly as important (to me) as Ttc right now. We own a mini home, so we’re not renting, but we’re both tired of living here, it’s pretty small for us, 2 dogs and a baby. Darling Husband really wants to move but I think for my sake, he’s willing to out it off for a year or 18 months.
Really what’s stopping us from Ttc is that I need a job that will last for 9 months so I can grow a baby, and a job to go back to after mat leave. If I get preggers now, I’d be 3-4 months along when my current contract expires, and I doubt anyone will hire me then, knowing that I’d be out in about 5 months anyways.
What I’ve also discovered is that any job is hard to come by ( in the last 12 months, I’ve had 2interviews, and didn’t get either job). If I leave without having a full time job, I wouldn’t get back into govt.
The good thing is that Darling Husband said that he would take leave as well if needed, so I could take 6 months mat leave, and he could take the other 6, which would be helpful if I somehow managed to get a long term contract
Post # 6
bump for the day time bees 🙂
Post # 7
I think you should go for it. There is never a really perfect time. You obviously have skills and education and will be able to make it work somehow.
I’ve read quite a few stories from women who start to ttc in their 30s. Part of it is getting married closer to that age, but another part is that you’ve spent a long time “planning” everything: education, career, etc. and you want to “plan” the baby too. For some people this works and the plan is perfect, but for others (me and many more) the plan has to be put aside. For me it’s because we just can’t seem to get pregnant. I can’t control everything.
It’s a really stressful decision and I can’t say with 100% surety that I’m offering the correct advice, but that’s my take…
Post # 8
If you get a year of maternity leave then you are technically worrying about something that could be 2+ years away. If you are able to live off of DH’s income then you can try to put your income into a savings account for a down payment on a house. They you could have your house, and find another job after your maternity leave is over if your job hasn’t offered you a permanent position yet.
Post # 9
@JaneyD: thanks 🙂 every fiber of my being says to just go ahead an TTC and the job situation will work itself out (which it usually does..), but the logical, educated voice inside my head is screaming “you need to have a job to go back to!”
Never mind not getting an extension if they find out that I’m preggers when my contract is up, but not having one to go back to after the baby down right scares me. I know I could always go to walmart, etc or a call center, and today, I’m temped to do jsut that. I’m just afriad that those places will see me as over qualified and won’t hire me, and then up unemployed all together, which is something that we need to avoid at all costs.
i’m not waiting for everything to be perfect (ie. job in my chosen field, x amount of $$ in the bank, etc) I’m just looking for a way to sustain ourselves and a moderately comfortable living situation after the baby.
Post # 11
@roxy821: Thanks. I know I’m worried about something that is far in the distance, but half the problem is that I don’t know if I’ll have a job in 4 months. I’m on contract until June/July, and while there’s a chance I could get extended here, there’s also a very real possibility that I’ll have to rely on my director’s connections and get into another deptartment. If that’s the case, and i’m 3-4 months preggers at that time, I’m not sure that a) I’ll be extended anywhere knowing that I’ll be out in about 5 months, or b) that it will be veiwed very favorably, and I might burn some bridges
Post # 12
I think you should put off TTC for at least 6 months, maybe even 9 months. By then you will either have a permanent job (with the current place or have found another one) or know you won’t be able to get a permanent job for a while. Then TTC. If you have a permanent job great. If you don’t, then taking maternatiy leave isn’t a big deal because you will have to leave your current job anyway (have 3 month extensions is just too stressful and if they wanted you they would have found a way to keep you).
Post # 13
Hi, Wow I really understand how hard it is to see other people getting pregnant when it’s all you really want to do. I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. But I do want to add that bringing a baby into a financially stable family is really important. In Canada, without a permanent position, you will not recieve top up benefits from your employer during your mat leave (although not all employers even give top ups). Also, while you technically get a year mat leave, what this means is IF you were employed full time before starting your mat leave, you would recieve unemployment benefits for 12 months (which max out at $400/week, but is based on whatever your salary was before you left work. You’d need to earn about $80,000/year to get $400/week. give or take) So financially speaking, Mat leave is no different than being unemployed. If you can’t only live on your DH’s salary, then it sounds like this may not be an option for you. I know its hard, but the wisest choice for your family might be to delay TTC until you find something permanent. The great thing is you have a foot in the door with the Government. I think they have awesome mat leave benefits. My SIL (CND gov employee) receives 95% of her pay for a full 12 months of mat leave! Good luck with your decision.