Weddingbee boards

I need help.  I just found out that my Future SIL, we'll call her Sister B (one of my bridesmaids) is probably not going to be at the wedding.  Mr Holiday told me this at dinner last night b/c she hasn't saved a dime towards her plane ticket.  I know his family is like this, but I already lost one FSIL (Sister A) to Cancer back in April so I was really wanting this connection with the other sister.  We get along when we see each other, but man is this girl flighty!

Sister B is 20 and living rent free and working 40h/w so he is like "I'm not going to pay to force her to come to our wedding" he is like "I just don't care if she doesn't"  I don't know what to do.  I know his family is flighty but that's just NOT how we do things in my family.

I'm just devastated.  We are already losing his niece as flower-girl because the father is paranoid and doesn't want his daughter out here.  That was something I asked of Sister A before she passed away and she was crying she was so happy I wanted to include her daughter into the wedding.  I already feel like I let her down. I'm still trying to at least get the guy's number to find out from him why and can't we work something out. Mr. Holiday was beyond devastated about that as well /sigh

The family is in CT. His father is helping by buying all the stuff Sister B needs for the wedding, all she needs to do is get money saved up for a plane ticket, but she hasn't and she has had 6 months to do so and Mr. Holiday is very annoyed with her and his family.  He feels that she's not going to do it. sigh

What should I do? What would you do?  I'm just about to burst into tears over this... his grandparents aren't coming b/c well they don't like planes /boggle! It just throws me for a loop this distant family thing!

Yeah, she doesn't respond to email, text or phone call.  I'll get an email reply from her about every 5 times I try to reach her.  I've been trying to get her measurements for 2 months now, even have Mr. Holiday working on it (with his dad) The dad is really the only person we can reach on a regular basis, and that's because he calls and talks to Mr. Holiday almost daily.

The ticket is probably going to be around $350 to $400.

I agree with both of you ladies, the only problem is she has done this before.  Plan on seeing us when we go to CT (about once a year) and then doesn't have time or doesn't plan time right and we don't get to see her (unless I drag people over to where she works and sit them all down and plan something last minute, IE changing our schedule all around to see her)  That's happened at least 3 out of the 4 times we have been there.

This family is just not close. I've been with Mr. Holiday going on 9 years (January) and just found out 2 weeks ago, he has a full family in FLORIDA! Like an Aunt and Uncle with cousins and everybody! I didn't even know his Father had a sister! AND I haven't even met anyone besides his father and mother and sisters. Not even the grandparents. Just so weird for me!  He has met all of my extended family and I have an Irish catholic extended family :)

@hotchild Wow! That would baffle me too! How do you deal with that??

I'm beginning to think I should have a back-up bridesmaid.  Not a good day here!

I would just pay for her airline ticket. She is young (I wasn't responsible enough to figure out airline tickets when I was 20) and just lost her sister so who knows where she is emotionally right not. I would also ask the grandparents if they would be willing to take a train or bus to the wedding and maybe even offer to pay for that too. You'll never regret spending some extra money to have them there. I'm sure it would be really special for your husband too.

Yeah thats what I want to do, but he is INSISTING no money go to her. I know he is just REALLY hurt about his family, so a part of me wants to just pay it behind his back. But, he would be furious about it.

The grandparents? well they live in Florida and usually just buy you a House or a Car instead of coming to the wedding. Seriously, Mr. Holiday really said that.  The Dad does NOT get along with his parents.  I'm still sending them the STD and invites and maybe a little blurb about how lovely a trip it would be if they took their Yaht (336ft can't be too bad) across the ocean to see us.  I highly doubt it, but they loved my mint fudge I sent them.  He said it was the first thank you card he has ever seen from them :). So, who knows.

I really, really just want to pay to have them come out but the one thing I don't mess with, is his family.  He doesn't even want to do the tribute to his sister at the wedding, it makes me so sad :(

Well I sent her an email so we will see what happens.  It was light and breezy and mentioned saving for a plane ticket in the middle so I hope it works.

This is the email I recieved from Mr. Holiday about the matter, so my hands are tied on that front. 

"This one I'm not comfortable discussing.  I'm not footing her bill, and I'd appreciate it if you didn’t either.  If my family comes to my wedding, I want it to be its because they wanted to."

So now I'm just really hoping I can make this happen without doing anything to upset him.  I'm honestly getting a bit mad at his family but thats another rant/vent!

Why don't you offer to pay half as a gift to her for being your bridesmaid.  Maybe if you tell Mr. Holiday it is a bm gift then it might be acceptable!!.  Hugs!!!