Post # 1
Both my Fiance and I are going to school and work 40 hours aweek to support ourselves. We have a clear set plan of what we want in life and how were going to get it. Saying this makes me sound uptight but thats how I feel. Since weve announced that were getting married my dad has been making alot of snide remarks about me getting pregnant! I always here “youre next” I love kids and we want them but we cant afford to have one. I dont know if he EXPECTS me to since both of my step sisters have babies but I cant stand it. It feels like hes always talking down to me. One day he told me it could happen I said it wont cuz were safe and he said “well yall are having sex arent yall?” in frint of our entire family!! Does anyone else have a problem like this? how did you handle it?
Post # 3
It really isn’t any of his business! I would just smile and say “oh one day we would love a family!” and leave it at that. Saying anything other than that is opening up the door for lots of comments.
I’m with you on wanting to wait. I have things I want to accomplish too, and while I do think I want a family, it’s still a ways off, and that’s always my response to people. That and ” we still have so much to do first, and we’re still so young!”
Post # 4
the minute I told my mom she became all about the grandkids… I was like well let me marry first geez. When it seemed she wasn’t going to stop i pulled her aside and sat her down. I told her how her comments made me feel pressured to have kids which was stress i didn’t need before the wedding. I explianed that it would still be a little while before we had kids on the plan and we would appreciate not feeling like there is pressure to do it sooner. That said the only way not to have kids is no sex so I am sure you two have talked about what would happen if you did get prego but if not be sure you cover your bases. Talk to your dad and explian to him that though you will make him a grandpa in the future you know he raised you to become a successful beautiful young lady and you don’t want to sacrifice that dream just to raise a kid. If you can pull him aside and be mature about it then any dad worth his salt would be able to be mature about it too. Good Luck 🙂
Post # 5
Its just kind of hard cuz it always feels like he is putting me down. My dad cant be mature whenever he tries to talk to me.
Post # 6
I’m confused…does he want you to have kids or is he warning you about being careful not to get pregnant? Either way, I would talk to him privately and tell him that his comments make you feel uncomfortable.
Post # 7
My dad does that too; there’s been a sudden upsurge of babies entering our families lately so now both moms are on us about the grandkids.
I try to avoid this topic at all costs; I could see my dad saying/doing something like that. Change the subject where possible to something they’re really uptight and passionate about (gay marriage/religion/politics) then clear the room.
Post # 8
Can you sit down with your dad in private and tell him how you feel when he makes these sorts of comments?
I am so sorry you are dealing with this- but perhaps if you have a heart to heart with your dad- it will resonate with him…
Post # 9
Ugh, I hate this kind of stuff.
I would just be blunt, and point out that your plans to reproduce (or not) are private, and it is not a discussion you are willing to have with anyone other than your partner.
Post # 10
I agree that you should tell your dad that you’re not planning to have kids any time soon, and leave it at that. It’s really none of his business.